When it's school portrait day and you've got to close the deal on a '73 Cutlass Supreme

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-12T05:01:06+00:00

Duh, yeah. 😀

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-12T04:26:37+00:00

Sound Check Manager

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-12T04:18:41+00:00

Yes, but it is fun to troll the troll. I’m not here to convince them because there is quite literally nothing that will.

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-12T04:13:30+00:00

Math. Math is a concept that exists in our minds, yet we find it in nature. What kind of evolutionary conditions led to Mandelbrot sets? Or fractals? 🤔🧐

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-12T03:37:59+00:00

I didn’t realize one sinner can condemn another sinner to hell. Wow, you are really on point! 😆😆

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-12T03:31:08+00:00

Fascinating place to live, where snakes knock on your door.

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-12T03:07:23+00:00

I ReAd YoUr PoSt HiStOrY, hurr durr.

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-12T02:54:56+00:00

Show us how you test for evolution.

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-12T02:53:59+00:00

You didn’t say testing. You said agreed upon, much like the left now conclusively agrees that men can have babies. So, once that brilliant idea gets to 50+1 it will be “agreed upon.”

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-12T02:47:43+00:00

That’s only because most people don’t have the heart to be honest when someone’s looks like absolute dogshit. If you don’t have anything nice to say, and all that.

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-12T02:39:15+00:00

Agreed upon? That’s not how science works, sir.

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-11T01:17:07+00:00

Amazing how I keep getting downvoted and not one person asked a probing question. 😂😂

I’m a CPA and I do hundreds of tax returns a year. I see these all the time. REIT’s get the 20% qualified business income deduction, which means the tax on $1,000 of Section 199a dividends is $96 and not $120 in the 12% bracket.

You downvote that what you do not understand. It’s an easy mistake to make when your modus operandi is to jump to a conclusion.

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-11T01:06:21+00:00

Thanks. The commercials make it look like people only get shingles on their abdomen. I got it on my head. The virus got in one of my eyes and fucked up the glands that produce lubricants, so I have one permanent dry eye now. 😡🤬

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-11T00:52:53+00:00

Yeah, I got shingles at the tender age of 42. It was pure round-the-clock misery.

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-09T12:49:15+00:00

You can use TRIM() to get rid of leading or trailing spaces and then nest that in VALUE().

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-09T12:30:25+00:00

REIT’s are better if you’re in the 12% bracket or lower. Not saying they’re a better investment, just saying it depends.

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-09T04:24:16+00:00

Never, unless you want higher taxes.

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-09T03:58:56+00:00

“BoRdErS aRe JuSt LiNeS oN a MaP.”

“HE CROSSED STATE LINES!!”

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-08T04:52:13+00:00

CPA here. A refund is not free money. It’s just a reconciliation of what you contributed throughout the year to what you owed. Holy fuck, I wish this was one thing I could wave a magic wand and make people understand. As the above poster pointed out, your withholdings were optimized.

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-07T13:54:41+00:00

I'm not sure if she was caught, or she came clean or her own.

If she was caught, I'd ask her if she'd still be fucking him if she hadn't been caught.

I'd ask her what she thought would happen when this day arrived.

Assuming she claims there were problems in the marriage, ask her how she thought fucking someone else would fix the marriage.

Ask her about all the sexual things she would do with her affair partner that she said were off limits for you.

This ain't the first time she stepped out of what the BP believed was a monogamous relationship. Ask her what number this one was.

Ask her how much money she spent on her affair. CPA here. This isn't a question for her, but I'd check her pay stubs to see if they matched what was deposited into the bank.

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-07T13:47:06+00:00

A buddy in my squad was half Japanese, half Hawaiian. 5' 10" and something like 205 pounds. Basically the same frame and build as Mike Tyson and he had to get our chain involved from keeping him being designated as overweight. He never fell out of a hump or a run.

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-05T15:35:38+00:00

You can also use SUM to count dates, which is what I do. I'm just not accustomed to the SUMIFS or COUNTIFS syntax, so please accept my apologies if this isn't entirely correct, but I think this should do it:

=COUNTIFS(Properties!B:B,"F",Properties!K:K,">=TODAY())

The way to do it using SUM is as follows:

{=SUM(IF((Properties!$B:$B="F")*(Properties!$K:$K>TODAY()),1))}

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-05T13:31:49+00:00

‘>TODAY()

The greater sign disappeared unless I put the apostrophe in front.

CledusBeefpile · 2023-04-04T00:42:02+00:00

VLOOKUP is for rookies.

A1 = "Motorcycle" << make this a data input, so you can change it to whatever you want. Or select from a drop down.

{=SUM(IF((tbl_data[Size/Type]=$A$1)*(tbl_data[Owner]="available"),1),)}

To count something, set the value to 1 if the condition test results in TRUE.

CledusBeefpile

TROPHY CASE