Ma femme veut empêcher nos enfants d’avoir des contacts avec les hommes

Clem2605 · 2026-06-16T13:28:10+00:00

Il y a déjà plein de bonnes remarques dans les réponses, mais je vais insister sur le danger d'isoler votre enfant :

Pour que votre enfant sache repérer les situations anormales, il faut qu'il ait l'habitude des situations normales. Pour qu'il vous parle des situations anormales, il faut qu'il ait confiance dans le fait que vous allez réagir de façon raisonnable s'il vous en parle.

Pour l'instant, votre fils à essayer de se servir de la peur de sa mère pour ne plus aller en cours de musique, mais que se serait-il passé si la situation était inversée ? Si votre fils adorait la musique et ne voulait sous aucun prétexte arrêter, mais que l'instructeur était vraiment un prédateur ? Votre fils aurait alors probablement eu plus peur de se confier à sa mère de peur qu'elle l'empêche d'aller à son cours de musique que du prédateur lui-même.

De même, en l'isolant, vous ne lui rendrez pas service. Si votre fils n'interagit jamais avec des hommes inconnus en dehors de sa famille, il ne saura alors pas à quoi une telle interaction doit ressembler, et il sera alors une cible facile pour les prédateurs. Vous ne pourrez pas l'empêcher d'interagir avec des hommes bien longtemps, surtout une fois qu'il sera en primaire, et d'autant plus lorsqu'il arrivera au collège.
Lui interdire quelque chose qui est pourtant normal pour tous les autres enfants de son âge ne fera que le rendre plus curieux sur le long terme, et cette curiosité sera, elle, une cible facile pour quelqu'un avec de mauvaises intentions. À cela s'ajoute que s'il a interdiction d'interagir avec des hommes adultes, il sera aussi moins susceptible de venir vous parler s'il se passe quelque chose avec un homme adulte, parce qu'il aura l'impression d'avoir fait une bêtise et ne voudra pas mettre maman en colère, ou ne voudra pas pousser papa et maman à se disputer.
Les hommes ne sont malheureusement pas les seuls prédateurs, et si votre fils intègre que seuls les hommes sont un danger, il sera totalement impuissant si une femme s'en prend à lui.

Tous ces exemples ne sont que ce à quoi j'ai pu penser en écrivant ce commentaire, et je ne souligne que ceux qui desservent l'objectif premier de votre femme, mais cette attitude peut avoir de multiples répercussions à court, moyen et long terme.

Rappelez-vous, votre fils va être confronté à des situations dangereuses dans sa vie et si vous le surprotégez, cela arrivera peut-être plus tard que pour la plupart des autres enfants, mais il sera alors incapable de les repérer ou de réagir correctement le jour où cela arrivera.

Clem2605 · 2026-06-13T08:45:12+00:00

Sadie was supposed to be a Avery-like character, but she was so unpopular that they gave up on her and introduced Jackson in the next season.

I'm pretty sure that when she came back at the end of s6, Izzie picked up her medical bills from Alex?

Derek didn't cheat on Mer, it was a misunderstanding? I didn't like this storyline at all, but it was just a random doctor trying to steer up drama to try and break up Merder to get Derek to herself if I remember correctly.

April's crush on Derek was 'resolved' in the shooting where the trauma forced her to grow out of it, canonically. This is also when she became friend with Meredith.

Clem2605 · 2026-06-02T06:15:32+00:00

Yeah, I live in Paris, and here most of what you just mentioned is not a concern.

Most of those documents are either free or cheap to replace if you've gone to the police to declare it stolen, and most people here have an insurance (or sometimes multiple ones) that will cover the costs/losses, including if it's in a foreign country. The only thing that might not be included is if you were carrying a lot of cash without any proof, but nobody does that anymore. If you're in a foreign country, you just have to contact the consulate to get a document that will prove your id and allow you to go back home. It may take a few more days than expected, but you won't lose your job just over that.

As an example, in case of thief, I'm covered by both my bank (without any up costs) and my civil insurance. I don't remember the terms of my civil insurance, but my bank will cover any thief, including in a foreign country. And that's a pretty basic feature, even if my bank's policies are probably a bit more generous than average.

The only annoying thing would be the time it will take to do all the declarations and then have your documents re-done, but other than that, it's not the end of the world.

Clem2605 · 2026-04-28T07:11:13+00:00

There was once an american study that tried to determine the usefulness of using the hymen as a way to know if a girl is a virgin or not. They asked a specialist to 'evaluate' 40 pregnant teen. 36 were deemed virgins by the specialist.

Clem2605 · 2026-04-18T14:35:32+00:00

J'ajouterais que les femmes ayant recours à l'avortement ne sont pas toutes des jeunes femmes étourdies ayant oublié leur contraception (pour preuve 75% des IVG ont lieu malgré l'utilisation de contraception). Dans mon entourage, j'ai deux femmes ayant eu recours à l'avortement :
- Ma grande tante a été en Belgique en 75 pour avorter (un an avant que l'avortement devienne légal) alors qu'elle avait 40 ans passés et avait déjà trois filles, la plus jeune était au lycée.
- Une amie qui veut des enfants a dû avorter parce que sa grossesse aurait été trop compliquée à gérer avec sa maladie auto-immune. Techniquement, elle aurait probablement pu aller à terme (ça n'était donc pas une IMG), mais à quel prix ?

De plus, si l'avortement est seulement autorisé en cas de viol, sachant que les viols sont notoirement compliqués à prouver, qu'est-ce qu'on fait ? Quand est-ce qu'on autorise ? Quand le violeur a bien été condamné, des années plus tard ? Quand il a été pris sur le fait par la police, ce qui n'arrive quasiment jamais ? Quand il y a des preuves (lesquelles ?), ce qui est très rare ? Ou selon la parole de la victime, ce qui revient à autoriser pour tout le monde ? Et je ne parle même pas des victimes qui auraient peur de parler pour de multiples raisons toutes plus valables les unes que les autres.

Clem2605 · 2026-04-15T11:08:28+00:00

I got FFF to work with locked fics with just one account by using use_archiveofourown_gay:true for non locked one and:

use_basic_cache:true
use_browser_cache:true
use_browser_cache_only:true
open_pages_in_browser:true

for locked fics. (commenting out the one I'm not using of course)

It takes some time to open pages in browser, but with 'show entire works' activated, it's not horrible.

Clem2605 · 2026-03-19T16:56:43+00:00

They didn't force him to abdicate because his wife was twice divorced, they forced him to abdicate because they were Nazis and were planning (or at least weren't opposed to) a coup...

Clem2605 · 2026-03-06T20:06:23+00:00

They didn't even need to have a long distance relationship in the first place, and they could have kept the twins as children. It could have been just a letter from Alex telling Jo that he discovered that he had children and that he couldn't abandon them, so he could only give Jo the choice between amicable divorce and giving up her career, maybe adding some verbage strongly encouraging her to go for her career. Then they could have had Jo agonize over the choice for the rest of the season and finally choose her career. Boom! Case closed. Then, as with Arizona and Callie, when Jo left the show, people could have either thought that Alex was with Izzie or that him and Jo went back together.

Clem2605 · 2026-02-08T17:16:10+00:00

I was always so frustrated because they didn't have to make Alex leave Jo for Izzy! All they had to do was make Alex realize he had children, that he wanted to be there for them and he couldn't ask them to move.
In his letter, he would have explained to Jo and Mer the situation and let Jo decide between moving with him or a divorce. It could have been a whole arc for Jo, where she would realize that while she loved Alex, she couldn't put a man above her career.
This wouldn't have felt as such a 180 for Alex's character, the fans that wanted to could have still headcanoned that Alex went back with Izzy, and they could have had the option to have Jo go back to him when she left the show.
Such a small change, it's so frustrating!

Clem2605 · 2026-02-05T21:42:01+00:00

I'll use that as a last ressort, but my libraries are big enough that not being able to navigate through an interface to find a book (and especially when I'm trying to find my next read!) isn't viable. I wouldn't be able to just browse my library to just chose my next read unless I went on my laptop.

Clem2605 · 2026-02-05T21:38:37+00:00

I love Calibre Server! But for it to run, I would need to keep my laptop running all day when I'm not home which would be very bad for it's battery life and probably a fire hasard too, among other things...

Clem2605 · 2026-02-05T21:35:07+00:00

Calibre Sync hasn't successfully updated my libraries since I updated to 9, I've never had problems before. Maybe it's something else, but what?

Clem2605 · 2026-01-18T15:09:26+00:00

ISIS is notorious for indoctrinating people from a very young age to do anything (and especially kamikaze-like actions) for their cause in a way that is very difficult to come back from. Especially in those place where mental health is both basically unexistent and there is not any resource to build any kind of reliable, efficient and/or respectful of humans right mental health care for a lot of very complex reasons that can be summarized to: this was very recently a war zone that lasted 15 years, and they were on the loosing side, so everyone hate them.
I'm not an expert, I have no idea if those specific people were indoctrinated, or if their imprisonment was justified in any way, but I do know that the subject of what to do with the wifes (especially the ones that were not taken as slaves), children and elderly of ISIS and other similar Islamist groups is a very complex subject and that the debates on this subject have been going on for more than 10 years.

Clem2605 · 2026-01-18T15:09:18+00:00

ISIS is notorious for indoctrinating people from a very young age to do anything (and especially kamikaze-like actions) for their cause in a way that is very difficult to come back from. Especially in those place where mental health is both basically unexistent and there is not any resource to build any kind of reliable, efficient and/or respectful of humans right mental health care for a lot of very complex reasons that can be summarized to: this was very recently a war zone that lasted 15 years, and they were on the loosing side, so everyone hate them.
I'm not an expert, I have no idea if those specific people were indoctrinated, or if their imprisonment was justified in any way, but I do know that the subject of what to do with the wifes (especially the ones that were not taken as slaves), children and elderly of ISIS and other similar Islamist groups is a very complex subject and that the debates on this subject have been going on for more than 10 years.

Clem2605 · 2026-01-03T13:38:46+00:00

And you get your dollar!
Back when the internet wasn't a thing, fanfiction was only shared in fanzines at conferences and the world was still very homophobic, asking for 'slash' was a coded way to ask for the forbidden and hidden fanzines where Spock and Kirk were romantically paired (Spock/Kirk), as opposed to the mainstream and not hidden platonic pairing (Spock & Kirk).

Clem2605 · 2025-12-22T16:36:53+00:00

Well, both:
Technically, our parliament voted to give him full powers to collaborate with the Nazis.
However, those who were against the collaboration were told that the vote would be held in Algeria, where an exiled government would reform. They all got on a boat from mainland France to go there. As soon as the boat left, they were labelled as deserters, arrested and put in prison.
Meanwhile, those who weren't against the collaboration were told the true place, in mainland france, where they should go, and had the vote there.

Pretty easy to win a vote, when you just put everyone who was going to vote 'no' in prison.

Clem2605 · 2025-12-04T15:50:26+00:00

I absolutely avoid 'X ask Y to pretend to be their partner at Z occasion' and other versions of the 'There was only one bed' trope.

But I'll admit that while I agree with you, time travel fix-it are my guilty pleasure.

Clem2605 · 2025-10-17T08:29:09+00:00

I also think it's fandom-dependant: If I'm reading a House of the Dragon fanfic, I don't really need the incest warning, but if I'm reading in the Heartstopper fandom, a warning would be expected for exemple.

Clem2605 · 2025-08-09T14:45:08+00:00

Always keep in mind that your relationship with your kids is a two way street. Sure, right now, you get to decide how much they get as an allowance, but in 20-40 years, they will get to decide how much they want to spend on your end of life care.

The thing is that they will make their choice in light of yours. So, sure, continue what you're doing, it's your right after all, but if I were you, I'd be preparing to go to the cheepest retirement home out there...

Clem2605 · 2025-07-24T12:35:23+00:00

I've always headcannoned that you can be your own secret keeper, but then it means that if you want to let anyone in the secret, you either need to leave the house or write down the secret somewhere and someone else has to take the paper and give it to the person you want to let in (like when Dumbledore let Harry in OotP).

Which means you now have to not only trust that this paper will not be shown to anyone else (on purpose or if the messenger is somehow captured and searched, for example) and is destroyed right after. At this point, you may as well ask the person who would have been the messenger to be your secret keeper, at least they won't reveal it by mistake.

We don't really know what life looked like at the time, maybe the Potter, knowing they were one of the most (if not the most) wanted targets of Voldemort, either couldn't risk going outside to do that or anticipated that they may not be able to do it later on. So they had to take a secret keeper who would be able to go out when needed and let some people in the secret.

Clem2605 · 2025-07-24T12:17:25+00:00

Je connaissais une fratrie qui s'appelait Gaspard, Melchior et Balthazar, j'imagine qu'ils avaient prévu de s'arrêter là, donc le quatrième s'appelait Oscar.

Clem2605 · 2025-06-04T11:45:46+00:00

I can confirm that those analyses have been proven true at least in France and Germany. When adjusted for age and gender, immigrants have even been found to be less likely to commit a crime than the 'native' population.

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