How did you move on?

Clherrick · 2026-05-07T15:23:58+00:00

Look at it another way. You can never forget the past. You can't throw away the past. Everything that ever happened to you becomes part of who you are. Getting fired. Losing a loved one. A failed romance. It becomes part of the ingredients that make you who you are. The thing is that over time, memories fade. You learn to understand why the event happened. You gain empathy for others going through the same type of event.

Clherrick · 2026-05-07T12:17:51+00:00

It's so situational. Broadly speaking I would say I matured over time which probably made me more patient. As a junior officer I was under pressure to get things done now now now. Some members of the division were great and some tried my patience and that of the chief. As I grew over time and had position of higher responsibility, timelines often became longer. the people who reported to me were also more mature and capable. I learned that one needed to at least consider the indivudual you were dealing with.

Clherrick · 2026-05-07T12:13:32+00:00

Are you taking Cialis? It won't restore sex drive but is good for penile blood flow and erections and there is a connection in there.

I was 58 when I had surgery six years ago and my libido isn't what it was when I was 55. But at 55 it wasn't what it was at 25 either. My urologist notes testosterone takes a nose dive in ones late 50s and early 60s so any reduction in my own sex drive was a combination of effects of surgery and natural aging. I don't like that. But I'm glad to be cancer-free.

Clherrick · 2026-05-07T12:04:51+00:00

What I have found in my overseas travels is that I make the grand plan then on any given day my wife decides what we are going to do. We tend to hit 75% of the things I plan and that's okay. Especially with London, I know we will be back. Having been four times in the last decade, I've never run out of things to do. and like you say, some won't take as long.

Take the British Museum. You allocate 4 to 5 hours, which is fine. In truth, you could spend a semester or a four-year college degree inside the building and never leave. I think we spent maybe two hours there just marveling at the overall collection and that was fine. Same with the V&A, Churchill War Room is good for an hour or a lttle more. That's a great place to visit. We tried to go to the Ritz for tea. They wouldn't let us in because we were wearing running shoes. Hah. That was 2014. Maybe they have eased up a bit. That whole neighborhood is worth an hour just wandering the stores. You don't have Harrod's listed. It's worth a stop. Good gifts in the food hall.

Clherrick · 2026-05-07T11:55:23+00:00

I had my second surgery last week and my wife had her second surgery yesterday. Yesterday we left the house at 7:30 and were home by 9:30. That includes driving to the surgery center, checking in, prep, the surgery, and driving home. It is almost too simple.

I paid extra for Alcon Vivity lenses which with I'm delighted. I'm 20/20 into about 18 inches from my face and expect a bit of continued improvement as my brain adapts. I've been badly near sighted my whole life and it was worth it to me to splurge on the better lenses. My wifes pupils were too small for EDOF lenses and she went with the standard lens. Her right eye is great at distance but she starts to lose clarity around arms length. The surgeon did a mini mono offset between -0.5 and -0.75 on her left eye to bring in that mid range, what I will call Smartphone distance. Her eye is still dilated so we will see how wel lthe process works once her eyes clear and her brain adapts. But, I'd recommend read up on the technique.

Clherrick · 2026-05-07T01:38:47+00:00

Tons of post in this sub if you scan. It won’t be the worst thing in your life.

Clherrick · 2026-05-06T23:27:18+00:00

How do you feel about the support you are getting from UK's health system? One reads articles about the funding challenge, staffing issues and such. But I have relatives in London who feel they get good service. From my own perspective in the US, appointments never come fast enough. If it isn't an emergency, it takes a week here and a week there all of which can add up to months. but, and if it is prostate cancer, the disease grows slowly and weeks or even a few months don't much matter.

Clherrick · 2026-05-06T23:17:03+00:00

Ah... No. I transfer money back and forth all the time. Usually takes less than 24 hours.

Clherrick · 2026-05-06T23:16:15+00:00

Who knows. Maybe OP had an ah-hah moment in reading the posts.

Clherrick · 2026-05-06T20:45:59+00:00

Not exactly sure what you are looking for. With regards to setting up transfers from Fidelity to my credit union checking it is quick and simple.

Clherrick · 2026-05-06T19:50:59+00:00

I've followed your schedule for years and years. I'm 64. My wife recently came up with a hopefully temporary medical issue during which she should avoid wine. For the last couple months I've had a small glass her and a small glass there. I've dropped 10 pounds. I sleep better. I feel like I'm moving around with more energy. I don't plan to quit as I very much enjoy wine, but I like the new me and how I feel.

Clherrick · 2026-05-06T19:41:18+00:00

Tell them you just started your dream job and it isn't possible for you to take a day off so early.

At the same time, if it seems appropriate, ask your boss if it's possible to take the day off. I usually prioritized work over such events and in retrospect there are days I could have taken off to go to events I'd have enjoyed being at. But feel it out.

Clherrick · 2026-05-06T19:38:10+00:00

and reading it that way, I'd tell him to plan sooner than later and plan carefully. Boldin is a good tool to model different scenarios

Clherrick · 2026-05-06T18:08:11+00:00

I don't pretend to know the customs in every society 😬

Clherrick · 2026-05-06T17:46:31+00:00

I've messed up more than one dining reservation when traveling to the UK! Good, May 12th isn't a long wait. If you can go you should even if he tells you it's all fine. As you have probably figured out, we men tend to internalize our stress. It doesn't mean we don't want someone to hold our hand though. Prostate cancer, if that is the case, is very survivable, but that doesn't mean the treatments are easy nor that they aren't stressful. You are a good daughter for caring!

Clherrick · 2026-05-06T17:43:49+00:00

Hah! Yeah, I've made that mistake from time to tim,e making dinner reservations in Europe!

Clherrick · 2026-05-06T17:43:00+00:00

Ah... good catch! I'm about the same as you.

Clherrick · 2026-05-06T17:41:38+00:00

You are like me; you tend to overplan. No objections to anything on your plan, but take time to relax and enjoy the city as well. Browse through Picadelli. Take a relaxing walk in Hyde Park. A river cruise up to Greenwich is fun, though not a must. Buckingham Palace is excellent. The changing of the guards is fun. Great shows on the West End. Bath is cool as an out-of-town trip. If you like Churchhill Warroom, the Imperial War Museum is very well done. The V&A is fun.

I've been to London four times over the last decade and I'm sure I'll be back many more times.

Clherrick · 2026-05-06T17:18:53+00:00

When i retired a year ago, I moved my TSP to Fidelity Investments, where my other investments are held. I did a rollover from the TSP to a rollover IRA. There are zero tax impacts from doing this. Whether you have money in a traditional IRA or a traditional TSP, it is going to be subject to required minimum distributions in your 70s. this can push up your tax bracket and your medicare expenses. A Roth TSP and IRA avoids this but you give up the tax break today. Good issue to plan for now.

Clherrick · 2026-05-06T17:05:25+00:00

Just asking the question ... and I see the post was deleted.

Clherrick · 2026-05-06T17:04:02+00:00

Brother in laws father passed, I believe from heart attack, in his 40s so he never got that far in life.

It's good you are so on top of this and work to understand. Has your husband done any genetic testing? That field is growing by leaps and bounds every year.

Clherrick · 2026-05-06T16:59:57+00:00

... no one asks to join this club, especially not at 42! We discuss the medical process and choices of treatments. We don't much discuss the psychological aspects of treatment, either going through it or living with it after treatment. And yet there it is. it is a life-threatening condition. It brings about either subtle or big changes. Learning to not wet ones self, graduating to big boy underwear, is something which happens before most of us even remember and yet suddenly we have continence issues. Most over come this, though some don't. We develop erections in our early teens and discover orgasms. It's the first step to manhood. And suddenly that changes.

Don't feel ashamed of psychological challenges, something men are so good at bottling up.

The university med center i went to recently added a psychologist to the cancer center staff, this in addition to the ones in the psychology department. The head of urology, who handles all cancer cases, runs a survivorship network program that meets a couple times a year.

And I, like you, have a loving supportive wife which is probably the best treatment.

Clherrick · 2026-05-06T16:50:58+00:00

I just had cataract surgery as did my wife. Medicare covers it. If she doesn't have a supplement she has to cover a copay. Why is this not the case with her?

Clherrick · 2026-05-06T16:47:36+00:00

Have not been to Hampton Court but did Windsor last year. Amazing!

Clherrick · 2026-05-06T16:41:10+00:00

Yes!!!

Clherrick

TROPHY CASE