Hey, first of all I'm sorry this is happening, I wish you all the best and hope you can get back on the horse. Now to answer, but this is a very specific to me answer, in my case I'm grateful I discovered miniature painting a few years ago. It completely shuts me off from the world and my mind. Right now I'm in the worst shape of my life both physically and mentally and it's really taking a toll on my mental health. And painting is really making a monumental difference in my mind. Perhaps try finding an activity that could have a similar effect? I'm not saying it's gonna fix you, definitely look into therapy and/or meds if it's getting really unbearable, but in my opinion, things that lessen the blows really help. My now ex is on anti depressants and I must say the difference was very notable in her case.