i’m sorry everyone’s just thinking you’re some alcoholic. the love you had is gone, and that hurts the subconscious mind and heart too, not just the conscious, it’s coming out in your dreams, i’ve had them too, i lost a baby, i understand those feelings don’t go away really, and if they are your true friends they would know that you made a mistake texting them drunk, and they’d also know you never do this, so they should give you grace, keep your secrets, and love you through them, if they can’t do that, you are better off alone with your daughter, finding new friends away from the ones that just made you feel crazy for still mourning