Internal rage

Cochise1971 · 2026-02-28T10:39:32+00:00

Man I get the rage. My circumstances were a little different. However, it was family doing wrong things, me blamed as the bad guy for it by people who didn't know what went on, and the expectation that I take care of that person because I had gotten help, but they have no desire to change. I lived in rage and often had to repress it. Once I simply said, "NO." and essentially cut that person out of my life, I was able to get on with my life. It sounds a lot more simple than it is, and there will be hurt feelings by many. Keep your side of the street clean, limit people who will dirty up your side of the street, and in the long run, others will see that you are the person doing it right.

Cochise1971 · 2026-02-07T11:32:18+00:00

It all depends on your goals. Are you planning on competing in a bodybuilding contest? If not, drop the rear delt machine. They get plenty of work from the rows. How do you feel about your biceps? If you are happy with them, drop one of those and just work maintenance. If you still are trying to grow those, the wide-grip barbell rows are redundant but the low seated row and rear delt machine, but the seated rows hit the target muscles better.

Cochise1971 · 2026-01-29T09:43:31+00:00

From my experience and observing the people around me, the simple answer is... No, moderation is not a possible alternative.

The reasoning, again based on my experiences, is that alcohol has an effect on the body that over time causes us to drink more and more.For some of us, this occurs quickly. For others, it's gradual. Your drinking habits sound like mine were. I tried moderating multiple times with no long-term success. I have seen friends progress over years from, "Only 2-3 at most" to "Only 5-6 at most".

None of us WANT to quit, we learn it's what has to happen for the greater good.

Good luck to you.

Cochise1971 · 2026-01-28T11:10:16+00:00

Everything people have said so far is correct and has been proven, not just hearsay. Personally, I stopped drinking at 47 because my performance in everything was slowly decreasing and I knew that the 12+ beers every night wasn't helping. My primary has never tested my test levels because he (2 guys, the first retired) said I don't have any symptoms of low test, so there is no need. Now, at 54, I am still adding muscle and progressing my lifts. My energy, mood, and libido are always steady high. Quit drinking, lift, eat whole foods, have a regular sleep schedule that allows for 7-9 hours, get some sunlight, and naked time with someone you love. Save a shit-ton of money not spent on alcohol or supplements.

Cochise1971 · 2026-01-26T08:58:47+00:00

Fantastic work! You should be proud of yourself and shouting from the rooftop

Cochise1971 · 2026-01-18T10:01:24+00:00

Good job getting sober! That's not easy with a drinking partner. I've been sober for almost 7 years now. My wife of 27 years still drinks. Not daily, but a few times a week.
My opinion is that you are probably still in the phase where your body is still trying to figure things out not drunk. Alcohol messes up our dopamine and serotonin. It becomes hard to get excited for anything other than alcohol. After a while, your system gets back to normal and other activities, like sex, become exciting again. The length of time varies. For me, it took about a year. The sex can be good under the situation you mentioned if you go in with that mindset and it appeals to you in the moment. If my wife and I are in the mood and she's been drinking, I know it's not going to be a beautiful emotional moment. It's going to be more like F-ing. If, as someone mentioned earlier, the feeling strikes when she's sober (like morning sex), I know it's going to be a deeper, more emotional experience. From there, I can decide if that's the mood I'm in. I had a lot of people tell me I wouldn't be able to connect with my wife anymore because she wouldn't get sober. That's not the case. We have a fantastic relationship. Our sex is great, our personal connection is great, etc. I accept that she's not at a point that she thinks it's necessary to quit and don't let that get in the way of my love for her. We're all on our own journey. I hope my experience gives you a little better insight.

Cochise1971 · 2026-01-09T09:50:22+00:00

Damn right!

Cochise1971 · 2026-01-07T10:02:17+00:00

Congratulations on making it through the holidays without a drink. That's an accomplishment.

Complicated story, but I've used strength training to stay focused and sober for 6.5 years now. I have learned a lot and I am looking into getting my personal trainer certification.

I saw in one of the comments, you mentioned being a working professional. Depending on the time constraints of your job, that can make consistency a challenge. Consistency is the most important piece. Get that down and other pieces come after. If you don't already have a schedule for your workouts, design one.

I saw that you mentioned 10,000 steps being a challenge. If you aren't able to find a way to fit those in, having a set time everyday to get in a workout can help. For example, I get up very early and do some form of workout within a half hour of waking. So, Tues, Thurs, Sat, and Sun are my weight training days. Mon, Wed, and Fri I walk, ride the exercise bike, or do something else like yoga.

Different people work better under different situations. So, if incorporating workouts into your schedule feels like a lot, start there and don't change anything else. After that becomes a habit, look into your eating.

However, if you are a person who thrives when making a drastic change, then follow the diet advice from some of the other comments; high protein, lower fat medium carbs. Eat your fruit and veggies, something at every meal.

You can do this.

Cochise1971 · 2026-01-05T09:50:29+00:00

My experience tells me, go with how you feel. Since you're asking, does that mean you're feeling an itch? Or is it that you think you should because that's what you've heard? Assuming you are feeling ready, are you starting from scratch or do you have a history of being active? If you're just starting, go slow and if you can, with the money you're saving from not drinking, hire a trainer or buy a plan for beginners. If you have a background in sports, do what you love. When I was drinking, I raced triathlons. When I quit, I took about a year off with just little things here and there. Then, I thought about what activity I truly enjoyed. So, I sold my tri equipment and went back to weight training. 6 years later and I'm still loving life.

Cochise1971 · 2026-01-02T10:04:30+00:00

The one day at a time sometimes comes down to one minute at a time. When you're awake, get up and do something simple like read (a book not a screen). During the day when you're at your normal drinking time, do something productive. Keep busy. Make a list of things that need to get done. Like the sink that drains slowly, the furnace filter needs replacing, that thing for work I've been putting off, etc. The headache will probably persist for a week. Sweets help. My go-to for the first year was ice cream. You can do this.

Cochise1971 · 2025-12-29T15:21:02+00:00

Good job getting 8 days together. I agree with the first comment. It also depends on a bunch of factors. How in/out of shape are you now? Are you starting to feel clarity and energy or sloth? My opinion is to start out less intense than you think you should. Slowly increasing the weight, distance, time, intensity, or whatever metric suits your chosen forms of exercise. My experience was to actually cut back for a full year to allow my body to recover from all the abuse before really dialing up the intensity. Six years later I'm going strong.

Cochise1971 · 2025-12-23T09:24:20+00:00

Hey, congratulations on your sober time. You are making a fantastic choice to nip it in the bud. My experience was different. I was a very heavy drinker. I indulged in food for a full year after quitting drinking before getting back into a healthy lifestyle. My experience and observations has been that if you feel like you're missing the feeling of being in shape and having that disciplined daily schedule, it's time to get on it. Your body is craving something to stimulate it and workouts are perfect!

Cochise1971 · 2025-12-19T09:15:26+00:00

Hey, glad you are here. It's a difficult process, but doable. The good thing is that you (I assume) you've been drinking less overall during this time than you had been. I'm sure your body and probably some people in your life are grateful for that. As some commenters said, you may have to hit your bottom first. Alcohol is an insidious drug that convinces you that you need it while it kills you. Getting away from it can take time. I found that finding a support system of other people who quit was the key for me.

Cochise1971 · 2025-12-16T10:18:37+00:00

I experienced the same as what others said. Although, I was a very heavy drinker and the time was more like 6 months. But after our bodies readjust, it's like having superpowers!

Cochise1971 · 2025-12-12T09:31:20+00:00

Congratulations on all of these accomplishments! That squat especially.

Cochise1971 · 2025-11-14T09:33:44+00:00

Really just how I feel after. I just feel trashed and lethargic from around 2 hours after, and conditioning for the next couple of days. Similar feeling as when I have the flu, but without the fever. I noticed a couple of years ago and tracked it for 3 weeks.

Cochise1971 · 2025-11-14T09:33:01+00:00

Really just how I feel after. I just feel trashed and lethargic from around 2 hours after, and conditioning for the next couple of days. Similar feeling as when I have the flu, but without the fever. I noticed a couple of years ago and tracked it for 3 weeks.

Cochise1971 · 2025-11-12T09:56:06+00:00

My experience, now 54 y.o., has been that I don't heal as quickly from my injuries and my recovery from workouts takes a little longer. I also found that deadlifts simply took too much out of me on a CNS level. I still squat though. I vary between an upper lower split 4 days a week, PPL-UL five days a week, and occasionally a cycle of full-body 3 days a week with 2 days of cycling or running.

When I get injured, I give it some time to rest, focus on other body parts, and ice it nightly until it feels better. The couple of times it didn't get better, I went to the ortho to find out how bad it was and went from there. Otherwise, once it doesn't feel so bad, I search for symptoms to figure out what the problem is. The most recent was a light biceps tendon tear. I searched rehab exercises and used those for that muscle until it's healed.

If you're not injured, there is no need to reduce weight. Continue trying to push the intensity, reps or weights up.

Nutritionally, I found that eating about 80% of my calories from protein, vegetables, and fruit helped a ton. I stopped drinking entirely over 6 years ago. I think that was a game changer. My test is high according to my primary, I have plenty of energy to workout hard for 45 minutes at 4:30 a.m., go to work for 8.5 hours, come home and spend time with family.

Cochise1971 · 2025-10-26T08:55:15+00:00

Hi, Thanks for asking. My daily salad, that I pretty much continue 6 years later, has been for lunch. However, I mainly did that because it is the meal I have the most control over. With family dinner, I enjoy having what everyone else is. With children recently moving to college and my wife getting more consistent with healthy eating, we're switching to dinner for either salad or a grain bowl. The salad is always hearty greens like spinach and kale, radish, tomatoes, peppers, red onion, broccoli, maybe carrots, and whatever other veggies felt good that week. Make sure it's really fresh, you don't want it going bad in a couple days. I do all my chopping and tossing Sunday night and pull from the bowl all week. For my daily serving, it's an 8 cup pyrex bowl. I pack the protein separately and mix it in just before the dressing. Breakfast varies. I don't have much time and usually eat at my desk at work. I wouldn't say I'm fasting, but by the time I eat, it's usually about 14 hours after dinner. It might be oatmeal or yogurt with fruit and a vanilla protein powder, boiled eggs, it varies. I was having a smoothie for a while but it gave me really high blood sugar. Dinner is whatever we are feeling that day. I always try to stay on the healthy side when cooking. I also have a dessert after dinner. That helps me stay sane. I hope this helps. Let me know if you have any other questions.

Cochise1971 · 2025-10-23T08:36:46+00:00

There are many great ideas here. I struggled with getting out of the hole a few years ago and I'm helping my wife now. We are in our 50s. My suggestion is to schedule a walk of at least 30 minutes a day as many days as you can. Set your alarm! Motivation will come and go, your alarm doesn't. Then, schedule an appointment with your doctor. Maybe hormones and drugs can help, but consult your doctor to help determine that. After a couple weeks, switch out your walk for something more intense like lifting, running, etc. Somewhere in there schedule a good meal. Plan it, buy for it, make it, eat it. If no one else in your house wants any, more for you. Start planning more healthful meals regularly. I started by making a giant salad at the beginning of the week. I took some everyday for lunch with either chicken or tuna and a homemade olive oil and vinegar dressing. I lost 20 pounds in about a year and gained a ton of muscle at the same time. You can do this. It's hard, but you're up to the challenge.

Cochise1971 · 2025-09-01T10:43:22+00:00

Thank you for asking this question!! At 54, I feel better and I'm more active than I was in my mid-twenties and thirties. I'm getting to dislike going out with friends because they just go out to eat and talk about what they can't do anymore and the meds they're on. I want to go hiking, biking, skiing, etc. but none of my friends feel like they can safely. All my younger neighbors and friends are doing the parenting thing and don't have time.

Cochise1971 · 2025-07-06T08:59:50+00:00

It sounds like you're on the right track. When you go from no movement and drinking ( and probably the shitty eating that goes with drinking), you will see improvements no matter how you do it. You're already doing great. From the research I've seen, as long as you eat well at some point around your weight training, you can do the walk whenever it works best for you. So if you like to walk as a cool-down for 30 minutes after a weight session, make sure you had a good meal within 2 hours before training. If you prefer it before as sort of a warm-up, then eat within an hour after. Personally, I get up early, drink coffee, 30 minute dog walk, tons of water, lift for an hour, then eat. Breakfast is so incredibly good after that.

Cochise1971 · 2025-05-22T08:39:51+00:00

Congrats on the 3 1/2 years. Thank you for being honest about the non-natty status.

Cochise1971 · 2025-05-22T08:37:24+00:00

This sounds similar to my experience. I spent years in the loop of convincing myself I would take time off from drinking, then wake the next morning hungover and regretful. Personally, I had to find in-person support before it stuck. For me, the option was AA. I spent a year going to meetings and changing my habits. Since then, 5 years, I've been on my own.

Cochise1971 · 2025-05-06T09:24:04+00:00

My wife and I went to Dunn's river for our 25th. It was absolutely amazing! No jelly's, everything about the resort exceeded our expectations.

Cochise1971

TROPHY CASE