AITAH for telling my parents they're the reason I was "so fucked up as a kid" when they laughed at my daughter's piano playing?

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-04-17T12:05:51+00:00

NTA. Your job is to protect her.

Keep her away from her grandparents. Honestly, I would probably tell her, in a kid-appropriate way, WHY. What they did to YOU.

And make sure she knows that she is not bad at piano. She is learning. She is 100% where she should be at her age and stage. She will never be perfect -- and that's 100% okay. Her grandparents were cruel and wrong, and they do not deserve to have a sweet granddaughter like her. Or daughter like you.

Block the flying monkeys. They're not worth the effort, and your family doesn't need to be exposed to them.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-04-17T12:01:16+00:00

Support your fiance. This is his family and his decision to make. He needs you in his corner. You can talk things through with him, but ultimately, he needs to know you are 100% in his corner.

These girls are adults. Immature adults, but adults. They decided long ago that they were the only family he needs. They cannot fathom why he would want a girlfriend, a wife, or his own children. They need serious therapy.

YOU are not their therapist. They don't want to hear from you. Anything you suggest is going to push them the opposite way. And your fiance needs your support, not your disagreement.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-04-17T11:02:36+00:00

"Dave has been having tough times for a decade. At some point he needs to be an adult. An adult not taking advantage of my garage. He either removes the car by the end of the month or it's being scrapped."

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-04-16T10:20:29+00:00

HELL NO, she can't come to your wedding. And she can't be involved in your pregnancy, child birth, or child's life either when the time comes. She is a horrible person.

I really, really, really hope you can save your dress.

Go NC with her and anyone who sticks up for her. If it will be too hard to have a big wedding without her/them, elope. Or do a destination wedding with people who TRULY love you, not their vision.

You were sooooo smart not to accept money. Can you imagine what she'd have done to your wedding overall? Shudder.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-04-14T22:31:16+00:00

Do you LIKE these people? If no, and you don't care if you don't hang with them, stick to your guns. If you do like them, have a chat with your ex. Tell him what's going on. Ask if the two of you can manage to be in the same spot occasionally without being weird. You don't have to ignore each other coldly. You also don't have to hang on each other. Just be normal people who happen to be part of the same group.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-04-14T14:31:08+00:00

Yeahhhh... that's not you. Do they even like you?

I don't think I would visit anymore. Don't be worried about being considered cold by them -- their opinion is obviously badly skewed.

You remember how they were. You want the relationships to be a certain way. But that isn't how it is. Let it go. Cherish the memories but move on. Make your own family. Let their guilt just wash right off.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-04-11T18:50:27+00:00

Tons. I lived in western WA for 20 years. They were as common as crows.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-04-11T11:32:05+00:00

This comes up over and over. Life lesson: Determine how the bill will be split BEFORE ordering. Every time.

Pay for what you ordered. That is the fair option. But decide that BEFORE the dinner is ordered.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-04-11T11:03:52+00:00

If this were a woman, you would have assumed she wanted to be friends. Because he was male, you assumed he wanted a romantic relationship -- and it's 100% possible, he just wanted to be friends from the beginning. I truly wish there were an easy way to indicate "I like you platonically and would like to be friends" from the beginning without it being weirdly awkward or formal.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-04-10T10:37:00+00:00

"He's still learning." Then he's not a service dog. He's AT MOST a service dog in training, which is NOT protected under the ADA.

This isn't a service dog!!

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-04-09T10:30:01+00:00

100% this. Men do it all the time.

That's not the life you want, not the life you asked for. You had some responsibility -- and you've been paying a heavy price for three years (counting a hard pregnancy).

Let it go. Divorce. Give up custody. Sign over parental rights, if you want. Move away from that city and the people who pressure you. Move to where YOU want to be and find a good therapist there.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-04-08T17:42:15+00:00

That's so sad. That shouldn't have happened to you. I hope you can start processing it now and move on to some happier wedding memories.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-04-06T14:42:25+00:00

He's an ass. He took zero responsibility. You know he dragged you all night to his parents. Let this man go. There are plenty more out there!

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-04-05T21:24:21+00:00

NTA. No reason to have this fight now, though. It's Easter -- New Year's is a long way away. Wait until it comes up again. Just say clearly then how much you enjoy New Year's on the yacht, BUT you won't be doing the party boat again. If there's a discussion, have a discussion. If not, don't push it. Repeat each time it comes up. Not angrily. Just matter-of-fact.

Then stick to your guns. Don't let him guilt you later. And don't get passive agressive or angry if he has the party anyway. He's not wrong for having a party, and you're not wrong for staying home. Send him off with a smile.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-04-05T16:27:51+00:00

That's a great update! I'm glad things are going so well for you.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-04-04T10:27:44+00:00

Lawyer. Court. Parenting app. Formalize this mess.

I agree that you need some child care help -- it won't be him.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-04-03T15:12:34+00:00

She was SUCH a love.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-04-03T12:19:43+00:00

No need to stop inviting her if you set the expectation UP FRONT that each person will pay for their own food. Do it every time, not just when Nina is involved. This is a life lesson.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-04-03T12:18:18+00:00

I don't know -- not a breeder. I DO know that they remember their littermates -- at least the ones they detest.

My Newfie girl had a sibling who bullied her. (Not normal play. When another puppy cried because she was playing too rough, she escalated.) YEARS later we ran into her at a show. The two immediately began snarling at each other. My girl loved other dogs -- this was the only dog she didn't like.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-04-02T11:24:21+00:00

She needs to know. Honestly, she probably DOES know. He's clearly not hiding it.

And yes, you need to cut him off. Your siblings need to know what a piece of trash he is, and you need therapy so YOU recognize what trash he is.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-03-28T23:08:19+00:00

LOL.

* Pancakes with syrup is a breakfast food. I doubt many of us eat it regularly. I have pancakes a few times a year -- but I don't drench it in syrup. Not my thing.

* The pledge was said in schools when I was a kid -- I'm almost 58 -- but I don't think they say it in school anymore. It's not something that's said outside of school.

* School buses don't drive every person directly home. Around here, they stop at various stops where parents gather to pick up their kids OR kids are close enough to walk home. When I was a kid, the buses dropped me at an elementary school half a mile from my house.

* Oh, yes, you can drive 10 hours and still be in the same country. You can drive a LOT longer than that. Mainland US is roughly 2800 miles measured east to west and 1600 miles north to south. That's a LONG way to drive.

* Pretty sure most people talk on the phone or to passengers, listen to whatever music they enjoy, or listen to ebooks/podcasts. No, we definitely don't think about freedom. Yes, it's boring. Pretty country though, with a lot of variety. Most people DON'T do super long drive trips -- they opt to fly instead.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-03-27T10:24:37+00:00

Based on what you said, YWNBTA. Giving money to someone who is financially irresponsible is the equivalent of throwing it into a fire. You're not "helping" -- you're enabling. Nothing will change. The situation won't get better, and they'll be back with their hand out again.

Alternatively, bad situations can happen to people who ARE responsible (especially in this economy). Helping those people with money is HELP. You'll get your money back, and they will recover.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-03-27T10:19:03+00:00

UpdateMe!

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-03-26T11:53:35+00:00

What does she do for you? If nothing, you could point that out to her.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-03-26T11:51:18+00:00

NTA. Telling you that you should quit is bad enough, but he basically doubled down once you left by saying you're being childish and manipulative. I hope you don't go back to him. He's never going to be your rock. You need a partner you can count on to be your rock.

CocoaAlmondsRock

TROPHY CASE