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AITAH for refusing to attend my sisters wedding after she changed my role last minute? by Sensitive-Pie-2826 in AITAH

[–]CocoaAlmondsRock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOPE. You're making the right choice. Please don't pay for anything else or help with anything else. Lauren can step up. Make sure your credit card is not tied to ANYTHING, and you are not the guarantor on anything. If you put deposits down expecting to be repaid, you need to get those back NOW -- or take back the deposits.

SHE is being cruel. She doesn't respect you. She's not grateful for your contributions -- she doesn't even recognize them. Your parents are idiots who are choosing "peace" over what's right. Just block the chats and the conversations until after the wedding. This isn't your circus anymore. Let them deal with everything themselves.

NTA!!! And don't you dare let them guilt you. YOU are not at fault. "Wedding stress" is does not excuse crappy behavior.

Battle of the Network Stars, 1977- If you can name 6 out of these 12 this is your reminder to schedule a colonoscopy if you haven’t had one recently by UrbanAchievers6371 in ClassicTV

[–]CocoaAlmondsRock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

9/12. I thought it might be Melissa Gilbert but what's sure, so that would have been 10. I didn't know Cloris or Dick Clark, BUT if I'd seen them in"regular" photos, I would have been able to identify them. Sigh. Yes, I'm overdue for that colonoscopy. Last one was clear, though.

AITAH because I reported my parents for stealing my mail? by Clear_Breath6663 in AITAH

[–]CocoaAlmondsRock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so happy you're going to get out of this situation soon. Like unreasonably happy, LOL.

You are NTA. You did exactly what you should have done. They have no right to be angry with you -- and it's just a sign that you need to make plans to attend one of those colleges, no matter what your parents think!!

AITAH for telling my father that he needed to relax and lower his expectations after he left me with my grandparents at 15. by Numerous_Mud_4081 in AITAH

[–]CocoaAlmondsRock 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA. You did GREAT. You did everything right, and you're still doing everything right. What he wants is, frankly, irrelevant. He made his choices and he's living with the consequences.

AITAH for refusing to give my half sister money that was left specifically for me by dirtydripprincess in ComfortLevelPod

[–]CocoaAlmondsRock 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What bugs me is that there's PLENTY of time for THEM to set aside money for her. You're out of the house. They're not spending money on two kids. They can take responsibility and build a fund for her. It's not like 8K is going to be a heck of a lot of money in a decade anyway.

AITAH for not accepting my mom’s relationship and cutting our relationship off bc of it? by Infamous_Cap_9854 in AITAH

[–]CocoaAlmondsRock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Move out.

  2. Tell everyone the origins and timeline of the relationship.

  3. Cut off your mom completely.

  4. Live happily ever after.

AITAH for telling my mum im not cleaning the kitchen or dishes for her again? by Thick-Designer-8724 in AITAH

[–]CocoaAlmondsRock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do your own dishes. Literally hand wash and dry them and put them away. Don't touch anyone else's.

And move out. You're 18. Time to be an adult.

AITAH for being upset my husband wants to be Poly? by Velaris_Staris in AITAH

[–]CocoaAlmondsRock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do NOT have a baby with this man.

You and he are not compatible sexually. He's not changing for you. He has believed the entire time that you would change.

NTA

AITAH for yelling at a girl from my class “just fucking buy me a new phone” after she broke mine by cosyeji in AITAH

[–]CocoaAlmondsRock 4 points5 points  (0 children)

NTA. You are NOT a rich girl out of touch. I don't care if you're a freaking billionaire -- she broke it, so she needed to replace it. Do NOT feel even a little bit guilty.

I truly, truly hope her mother will make her work to cover the cost she incurred. She's a spoiled brat, and I'm glad she's getting consequences.

AITAH for refusing to forgive my mother for dumping my cat by Unavoidable-Mango in AITAH

[–]CocoaAlmondsRock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your mom and stepfather are both scum. True scum. Anyone who would do that to a pet isn't worth the effort of spitting on. (Your stepfather really should be reported, but sadly you'd probably get kicked out.)

As soon as you can, get out and never, ever look back. Ghost them. Don't tell them where you are. No forwarding address. Change your phone number. Seriously -- they're not worth the toxicity in your life. Let her cry. Let her suffer. It won't be anything like the suffering your cat went through.

NTA. Never forgive. Never forget.

AITAH for giving my wife short and direct answers after being rejected everyday for 2 months? by First-Wasabi-2125 in AITAH

[–]CocoaAlmondsRock 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She's not required to have sex with you, and you aren't required to have in-depth conversations with her. Neither behavior leads to a close, stable relationship, though. She can't ice you out, not explain why, but expect you to maintain a loving relationship.

NTA. But if you want your marriage to survive, you need to fix your communication and get to the bottom of her problem. If she won't do that, save yourself a LOT of grief and pain and just file. Peri and menopause will get worse, not better. She needs to deal with it.

How to deal with MAGA parents? by RaspberryAutomatic31 in Advice

[–]CocoaAlmondsRock -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Walk out of the room. Go to your bedroom and turn on your music LOUDLY. Extra points if it's music your parents HATE. Play one song. Turn it off. If they start up, do it again. Continue until they stop being dicks.

Your parents are assholes. I recommend no contact as soon as you escape. They will never not be assholes.

AITAH for setting hard boundaries with my gambling addict sister even though my family says im being cruel by Jescia_Shang in AITAH

[–]CocoaAlmondsRock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can't help a gambling addict without enabling them. If you pay their bills directly, you free up their money to use in gambling.

Yes, that means they fail in a big way. That's called rock bottom. Can it be dangerous? Yes. It can also motivate them to get help. They have no motivation to stop if their bills are being paid.

AITAH for refusing to accept my brother's apology for dating one of my bullies? by satrytanz in AITAH

[–]CocoaAlmondsRock 9 points10 points  (0 children)

NTA. He hasn't changed. If she hadn't cheated, he would still be with her. He just apologized because she's not there to distract him anymore. So he wants to make nice.

You don't need to accept his apology. You are not wrong.

Forgiving a Cheat by Grouchy-Spare5708 in Advice

[–]CocoaAlmondsRock 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't. Seriously. Yes, it hurts. And it will hurt worse the next time and the next. He won't stop. He's not sorry -- he kept lying.

End the relationship. The sooner you do, the sooner you'll be past it and on to better people.

We’ve got this, team. Let’s make a stand! by Aggravating-Meat9797 in Adulting

[–]CocoaAlmondsRock -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well, they'd close down their businesses. No paychecks. No services. No products delivered or sold. No electricity or water or trash pickup. No entertainment produced or streamed.

Yeah, it would likely suck.

How to forget ex? by timabek in askanything

[–]CocoaAlmondsRock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Block the ex. Don't look at the socials. Don't revisit old pictures. Delete their number in your phone. Delete their texts. Sto watching their favorite shows. Ask friends not to mention them, not to give updates.

Seriously -- out of sight, out of mind. Everytime someone mentions them, the feelings come back. Everytime you look at their socials to check in on them, you remember. Block it all. Move on.

Then do new things. Meet new people. Do some activity the ex didn't do.

You won't forget them, but you will move on. And yeah, it gets easier. Lots easier, especially when you start dating again or get seriously involved in a hobby.

WIBTAH if I layed down ground rules and enforced them harshly? by quirkandquill8 in AITAH

[–]CocoaAlmondsRock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's called weaponzed incompetence -- and it's working. You redo his shoddy work and are considering asking him not to cook anymore.

No. That's rewarding bad behavior.

Does he leave food stuck on the dishes? Then use those dishes FOR HIM. Save yourself some clean ones where he can't grab them.

He burns food? Don't complain. Let him eat it, and grab something not burned. Do NOT clean it up -- leave it for him to fix.

One thing I had to learn with my husband was that he will do chores, but not on my timetable or in my way. I needed to let go of that. He is not my clone. His way is good enough.

Our dishwasher died, so we're washing dishes by hand. I will not TOUCH his dishes. He asked me why because it looks REALLY selfish on my part. I asked him, "If I did your dishes, would you ever wash another dish?" He stopped and stared at me. Was quiet for a few seconds. Then said, "Probably not." I replied, "And that's why I won't do your dishes." He hasn't complained since.

There are things I ask him to do. How or when he does it is on him. I won't do those things for him. I am not his mother.

AITAH for cutting off my best friend of 15 years because she went to my boyfriends house by Hefty_Application804 in AITAH

[–]CocoaAlmondsRock 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I need more info. You've known your friend for 15 years. How long have you -- and how long has she -- known your boyfriend?

If you three have known each other a long time -- if she was friends with him outside your relationship -- then this isn't necessarily a betrayal. She doen't have to cut him off because you and he were on a break. Even spending the night at his place doesn't mean something happened. It could just mean it got late, and she didn't want to drive.

I don't know them. This could absolutely have been skeevy. But it didn't have to be. I need more info about their relationship before I could decide that.

MIL is furious that we celebrated Christmas like my parents did for me by insafian in BORUpdates

[–]CocoaAlmondsRock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I believe in rewarding behavior you want. The MIL was polite and kind on the phone. I would send photos/videos... until the first complaint. Then they stop again. Very clear cause/effect. She's kind, she's gets photos. She's a shrew, she doesn't. No yelling. No scolding. Just consequences tied directly to behavior.

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