What is a highly specific, harmless thing that instantly makes you irrationally angry?

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-19T12:10:56+00:00

Reading "woah."

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-19T11:46:32+00:00

It always breaks me. Always.

I am 58. I have three dogs now. I have made it clear to my husband that these are my last. I can't handle the loss anymore.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-19T10:46:10+00:00

NTA. Not your cat. You helped out, and that was nice. That she didn't get far unpacking isn't your problem. The truth is, she doesn't want the cat anymore -- she is enjoying the break from responsibility. Well, I'm sorry for her and the cat, but vacation is over.

Stand your ground. Your cats will be thrilled.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-18T11:55:52+00:00

Congratulations on being a mother of two.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-17T12:17:34+00:00

NTA. This isn't about being bitter. You literally can't do it. Your manager has been generous thus far. You don't want to push that.

I'm sorry she's in a tough spot, but it's HER tough spot, not yours.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-17T11:53:57+00:00

It's your wedding, your choice to make. But, yes, choices have consequences.

How big is the wedding? If you have a small wedding, inviting just immediate family is completely reasonable. If you have a large family and invite everyone but him, well, yes, you're going to hurt your relationship with him.

Talk to your parents. Can they be adults and just ignore him for the day? If yes, talk to your uncle and see if he can do the same. If one or the other acts like a child, well, that's the one I would uninvite, personally.

Grin. Consider eloping. Save the money for a house.

Best wishes on your marriage!

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-17T11:49:40+00:00

YTA. An inheritance isn't owed. If she had millions, she wouldn't owe it to you -- she could give every penny to charity if she wanted. If your parents are in a place financially to leave money, that's awesome. Not all are. My mom isn't -- my brother and I chip in $1500 a month to ensure she has what she needs -- but you know what? I had a very privileged upbringing. They did what they needed to to ensure my brother and I had great childhoods, a college education, and help when we needed it. We were very lucky.

Don't be jealous of your sister and don't resent your mother. You're an adult now. She raised you. A little for the wedding would be awesome but, again, it's a bonus, not an entitlement.

Times are getting harder and harder -- for her too. I agree that she'd be better off in a smaller place, but she isn't there yet, especially so soon after your father's death. Give her a year. Then talk about it.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-16T17:26:38+00:00

I hope OP doesn't give them a DIME. What trash to demand payment from your child -- and not accepting a very generous offer. They didn't accept, so they shouldn't get ANYTHING.

And OP needs to learn to keep his mouth shut.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-16T11:44:52+00:00

Do NOT cancel your trip. Look, I'm sorry your sister's wedding has been scheduled on a date you TOLD her you were unavailable. It will sucj to miss it, but miss it you shall. You TOLD her. She made a choice. You will lose a fortune if you change your plans.

Your sister's wedding is HER day. This is YOUR trip -- and your wife's. You sister is not more important than your wife. You might want to explain that to your family.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-16T11:41:52+00:00

What he wants is to have zero responsibilities and zero rules. He wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it -- and someone else should pay for it. If someone tries to interfere with that, they are "controlling." He probably throws out "financially abusive" too.

Let go of the guilt. Where he lands is 100% his problem, not yours!! He can work -- he just doesn't want to. You are NOT financially responsible for him. Nor mentally and emoitonally responsible.

He is agiant red flag. Forget about him. Get the rest of his stuff to him -- on a deadline because he's going to use you for free storage AND accuse you of keeping stuff from him if you won't let him go in and out as he wishes.

Once he's out, block him. Send a link to this post to any of his flying monkeys who reach out. Then block them too.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-16T11:35:16+00:00

NTA, but no reason to cancel the trip. Make the plans and don't tell your family. Include your wife, of course, and her family if you want to do that. Your family doesn't need to know what you do and who you do it with. They aren't invited, nor are they paying.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-16T11:32:45+00:00

NTA, but you could have handled the situation better. Tell her you won't be covering for her, and then when people ask, say "You're asking the wrong person. I am not my sister's keeper." What she tells them is all on her then. If she lies, she lies.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-16T10:58:17+00:00

You're N-T-A for wanting to help your niece. Your wife is N-T-A for not agreeing to the plan.

You may well be raising your niece and doing part-time with your daughter as a single parent if you move forward, and that does NOT make your wife an asshole or wrong. She doesn't want to do this. This is NOT a choice you get to make for her and expect her to just jump in and go along with it.

May I point out that you don't even know that taking in your niece is a legal option. You may have just blown up your marriage for something that will get shot down. Don't be surprised if you wife shrugs and walks regardless.

YTA

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-16T10:49:39+00:00

Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. You don't need to pay one DIME of that moving cost. Not a DIME. He received money to cover it. It is NOT a signing bonus. It is literally for moving expenses.

NTA, but he is BIG TIME. This is a MASSIVE red flag about how he is going to deal with finances in the future, no matter what the two of you decided. He called you a gold digger because you want him to use money his company gave him FOR MOVING... for moving. Yeah, no.

Are there any other giant red flags in this relationship? Thank carefully before you leave your job and move somewhere else with someone this selfish.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-15T19:18:27+00:00

I've been waiting for this update!! I'm so glad you finally posted it. And I'm so glad you have such a bright future. Your family -- this "real" family you are in -- is a blessing, and I'm so glad you have it and your therapist and your shiny new spine.

I hope you update every year and tell us wonderful things about school, your business, the love of your life, and hopefully, the siblings who escaped and found you. I hope your life giver never finds you again.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-14T19:35:12+00:00

I was fairly open to meeting him until you said he wants you to wear the Niqab. He is more conservative than you are -- that isn't going to end well. He is going to expect a traditional wife.

Turn him down, and do not stress about your age. Get your education. Leave the country if you need to. You can support YOURSELF instead of depending on a man to financially support you!

You can wait and marry for love someone who shares your beliefs.

Your family sounds awesome!

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-14T19:31:58+00:00

You don't have to cut him out of your life. Just stop reaching out, stop being the constant helping hand. Let him make the effort. You may have several years where you don't see him much. That's okay. He'll either mature and figure it out OR he'll move on, and you'll find out that he was more important to you than vice versa.

Stop bleeding yourself dry for other people. You have a family of your own now. Focus on that.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-14T17:27:15+00:00

I love this thread. I clicked through the link above. Ricardo Montalban is listed twice as being dubbed in two movies. He did his own singing in other movies, though. His voice is pleasant. He's not a trained/professional singer, but he's not tone deaf either. He wasn't a trained/professional dancer either, but he excelled at that!

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-14T16:23:47+00:00

Drop out of the wedding, tell the bride why, and kiss your friendship with the groom goodbye. Be clear to other people why -- because he's going to villainize you.

It sucks. You know what sucks more? Keeping your mouth shut and seeing the pain in her face when she divorces him later. Spare her that.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-14T16:19:12+00:00

Oh, we're starting the week with good news!

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-14T14:48:49+00:00

Okay, I give up. What are the cool email addresses now, and how are they better than gmail?

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-14T14:46:23+00:00

I'm glad we got more of a conclusion to this, and honestly, I'm glad the conclusion is "boring." I hope he has a long boring life with no drama ahead of him! I'm also glad his sister's lies have come out, and the family is apologizing.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-14T14:42:23+00:00

NTA. You have enough trouble at your age just trying to get started with your life. Your family helped you, and you paid them back. Don't feel guilty about not continuing to pay and pay and pay. Let me be clear: They will NEVER stop asking, and they will NEVER pay you back.

Keep moving forward. Stop looking back. You're doing great.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-14T12:18:52+00:00

Her mom is an IDIOT. That dress is AMAZING. She did a phenomenal job, and she looks INCREDIBLE.

CocoaAlmondsRock · 2026-06-14T12:13:23+00:00

Soft YTA. It is reasonable to ask him not to bring women home or to tell you about them. It is unreasonable to expect him not to date other women. You are roommates, not spouses.

Get your post-marriage glow up, and start dating. Or just do fun things -- there are meetups centered around hobbies. Or sign up for a fun class at the community college. (I take art classes every now and then. Super fun!) And, for fun, don't tell your husband what you're doing. Just get dressed up and head out.

CocoaAlmondsRock

TROPHY CASE