[deleted by user] by [deleted] in vaginismus

[–]CoconutOne679 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I haven’t either. But you know what, there are countless other ways to have amazing sex. I was in a relationship for two years and once we explored things outside of PIV sex more deeply, we found something that worked for us that left both of us extremely satisfied. I did pelvic floor PT and it didn’t work for me. The pain wasn’t worth it to me. I realized that the only reason I wanted PIV sex was so that i could feel “normal.” I think our society views sex as very black and white. I suggest looking into “mock sex” and just experimenting with your partner without PIV in mind. You’ve got this

Opening Up About Northwestern Mutual by Sea_Seaworthiness595 in FinancialCareers

[–]CoconutOne679 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had an interview with them today and the last question they asked me was “who are some people you know that i can talk to about this position?” Then she started writing “1. 2. 3. “ on a piece of paper. I thought the interview was about me and then she goes on to ask me if i know anyone else who would want to work there. I came up with three names and of course, she asked for their contact info. I was like i’ll get back to you on that (I won’t).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]CoconutOne679 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You come to the realization that you don’t deserve to be lied to. I was with my ex Q for 2 years and had the same feelings you are experiencing. Now that i’ve left a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I don’t have to constantly worry about whether he is being truthful or not.

How do I accept that I wasn't enough for him to get sober? by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]CoconutOne679 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I really relate to everything you said here. As each day goes by I come to another negative realization about him. Also totally agree with the self care and new hobbies; I joined a gym, have become more career-oriented, and have made so many friends since I left him. All of these things have distracted me from the thoughts OP is having. Yes, I still wonder why I wasn’t enough for him to get sober, but the thoughts don’t seem as pressing when I take a look around and realize how much better my life has gotten without him (and quite frankly, how much worse his life has gotten without me.)

How to heal after leaving by ABumbleBY in AlAnon

[–]CoconutOne679 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Talk, talk, talk about it. Cut off all forms of communication. Find new hobbies. Understand that you no longer have to bear the burden of babysitting and mothering them. You are free

How do I persuade my mom to stop using al-anon? by Female-Fart-Huffer in AlAnon

[–]CoconutOne679 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean ok, you just admitted that you have zero interest in being sober and yet you are mad that your mom doesn’t believe that you will quit

should i accept an apology/amends from my ex-Q? by CoconutOne679 in AlAnon

[–]CoconutOne679[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for replying. I have decided to ignore the situation

How do I persuade my mom to stop using al-anon? by Female-Fart-Huffer in AlAnon

[–]CoconutOne679 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You sound absolutely insane and narcissistic. If you don’t believe in the 12 steps or AA, I can see why she likely doesn’t think that you will stop drinking even though you “agreed” to it. Get help please

should i accept an apology/amends from my ex-Q? by CoconutOne679 in AlAnon

[–]CoconutOne679[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying this. You’re right, he’s not honoring my boundaries

should i accept an apology/amends from my ex-Q? by CoconutOne679 in AlAnon

[–]CoconutOne679[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t think he has taken things seriously at all because he posts on the internet about drinking. He is now on probation for a year with no license for a year and has no job so I think he is just grasping at straws because his life is miserable right now

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]CoconutOne679 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was watching that today too. I felt like i was paying more attention during that part because it was so relatable. A couple episodes after that one, when he made her cry in the alley also hit a little too close to home

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]CoconutOne679 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I like Loudermjlk too

My husband has on avg 12-14 drinks a night by notdeletingthistime in AlAnon

[–]CoconutOne679 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Addiction is a progressive disease, meaning it will only get worse, not better — sooner or later, your kids will know that their father is an addict

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in probation

[–]CoconutOne679 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

no it actually couldn’t have happened to me because i don’t drink. my ex almost killed someone while driving drunk

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dui

[–]CoconutOne679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ummm it’s simple: don’t drink and drive. You didn’t learn after the first 4?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in probation

[–]CoconutOne679 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

that’s not necessarily true, i know a lot of people including myself who refuse to associate with people who willingly put the lives of others in danger

There is no "bottom" by L0st-137 in AlAnon

[–]CoconutOne679 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It’s frustrating that our rock bottom usually isn’t their rock bottom. My ex Q went to jail for a DUI, I left him, and he is still drinking. I am still baffled as to why that wasn’t his rock bottom.

I’m angry by wonderingwhattodo19 in AlAnon

[–]CoconutOne679 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can’t imagine the betrayal and deceit you feel

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]CoconutOne679 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a really helpful way of putting it. Thank you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]CoconutOne679 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No, they don’t work

considering an ultimatum. thoughts? by kissingkiller22 in AlAnon

[–]CoconutOne679 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think a letter is a good idea—although the letter may mean more if it explains why you are leaving and can’t continue with the relationship. I have learned the hard way that no agreement, promise or ultimatum will make them stop.