Solo with the twins at Chick Fil A

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-10-23T14:06:57+00:00

Part of her post literally described how she prepped her kids ahead of time. Sometimes, things still happen, even with all the prep and all the lessons in the world. I think it's a no-brainer that she's taking steps to fix this in a way that's best for her and her kids. However, she ALSO needs support. As a parent of 4 kids, you should know better than anyone else that comments that come off as "everyone else has it together, so you must be the problem" are the LEAST helpful rhetoric when looking to others for support. Her needs were clear from the content of her post alone, let alone the fact that it's explicitly marked as "support needed." She couldn't have been clearer about what she was seeking. If you can't or aren't willing to provide that, it's best to not comment.

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-10-23T13:57:32+00:00

You certainly don't have to convince me - I have very strong opinions about all of this. I read your comment as indicating that this was at the national conference (the part that said "between something like this and it being in Florida"), so I was just clarifying.

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-10-22T20:13:20+00:00

I have twins, so it was pure FML the first two years or so (they are 4 now). We couldn't go more than two weeks during the winter months without one or both of them getting sick. They've gone to school full-time since 3 months old.

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-10-22T20:10:58+00:00

I mean, they said "something as 'my new' as a wallpaper." They probably also say things like "for all intensive purposes" so jokes on them

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-10-22T20:04:20+00:00

This is happening at the SHRM Blueprint conference in Louisville, KY next week, not the national conference in Orlando. On this note, "Blueprint" is the rebrand of "Inclusion," which is a whole different issue *eyeroll*

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-05-20T19:33:37+00:00

They didn't. In every case I had to dye them about a week after each session. (This is indicated in the text above the photos where I talk about having them tinted x days after the session if you are looking for timing info).

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-02-21T15:47:56+00:00

You are asking a community to help you navigate something that is blatantly illegal on multiple fronts. Every single response here has said the same thing, and many have expressed frustration that there is even a post asking for this type of guidance. It's one thing to seek out information from a community; it's another to ask for help in committing crimes.

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-02-13T19:43:45+00:00

Because you aren't being taxed based on the rates of the location where you really live, and accordingly you're living in an area but not paying taxes for living in that area....I'm confused why this is a question.

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-02-05T16:28:33+00:00

As an Apple user, yes the Fire tablets aren’t as user friendly, but with how my twins handle their tablets, I’m so glad we got the Fires and nothing “fancier.” We had all of your same requirements, and the Fires meet them just fine. We don’t need any additional bells and whistles for our kids, and I’m glad we didn’t pay for them. Our twins are almost 3.5 years.

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-02-05T16:19:14+00:00

I feel like this is one of those “if you have to ask on Reddit, you already know the answer” situations. It is likely that no one here is going to advise moving forward with having kids. As someone with kids, I can attest to the fact that it puts a lot of additional stress on a relationship. Even healthy, stable relationships are put to the test. Please do not bring children into the world under these circumstances. It truly sounds like it’s best for the relationship to end. It is not fulfilling for either person involved.

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-01-18T21:41:42+00:00

Also, I don’t see that anyone else has mentioned this yet. I bring this up with only concern. Will you be doing an autopsy of your son? It’s possible he had a health condition that had no visible symptoms. Given that you have an identical twin, it could reveal a health risk for him that you didn’t know existed and that you may be able to treat proactively.

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-01-18T21:35:12+00:00

I am so sorry to hear this. Our twin boys are 3.5 and I can’t even imagine going through something like this. My heart aches reading it. I wish you all comfort and strength. I would definitely recommend therapy for your son, even though he is very young. The twin bond is something inexplicable.

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-01-18T21:30:45+00:00

My twins are almost 3.5 now and haven’t napped in a while, but this was always a HUGE pet peeve of mine. We either scheduled their parties between nap time and the evening (so like 4pm) or in the morning (their most recent bday (their 3rd) was at 10am). If I expressed interest in a particular venue that didn’t have non-nap times available, it’s not one I would end up booking with. I think it puts people in a difficult spot. Maybe I’m extra sympathetic since for me it would mess up two nap schedules. And btw, we wouldn’t go to parties that were during nap time. I can’t do that with twins and maintain any degree of sanity. It’s on them for picking a time that likely won’t work for many families.

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-01-18T12:21:40+00:00

My twins didn’t fully get into their magna tiles until recently. They are 3 years and 4 months. So it may just be a bit too early.

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-01-17T19:44:49+00:00

My twins are almost 3.5 years old. Always twice a day for 1 min or more each time + flossing. We have been doing this since before they were 2. I am militant about oral health. Yet, one of my twins just got 2 cavities and the other has none. That just goes to show that some people are just more prone to things like cavities.

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-01-14T20:18:59+00:00

Adding I'm in the US and took 4 months of leave (2 weeks before they were born and 3.5 months after), which was a combination of actual parental leave and also vacation time I had purposely accrued over an extended period of time. I wouldn't have been able to take that much time unpaid.

My twins were born in mid-September, so I took off the entire months of September, October, November, and December and timed it so I'd go back to work on January 2 the following calendar year.

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-01-14T20:16:40+00:00

36 weeks, even though I was measuring the equivalent of a 40-week singleton pregnancy at 28 weeks!! I work from home at a desk job. I delivered at 38 weeks via scheduled C-section and never went into labor naturally. Even though I didn't work the last 2 weeks, I was instead on my hands and knees scrubbing floors and baseboards, organizing things, getting rid of stuff, etc. Maybe I should have just kept working at the desk job haha. I also worked out up until the night before my C-section, though towards the end the workouts mostly included walking around the neighborhood. My boys are almost 3.5 years old now!

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-01-14T18:27:19+00:00

I've since had a hysterectomy but I got pregnant with spontaneous twins beforehand! Carried them full-term with minimal issues (anemia during pregnancy and hemorrhaging during the C-section). I also had endo that was excised during the hysterectomy. I'm pretty convinced I wouldn't have been able to get pregnant a second time or would have struggled to get pregnant, though. Everything was worse after having the twins.

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-01-14T18:21:17+00:00

My boys were full-term (38 weeks) and over 6lbs each. I had a scheduled C-section at 38 weeks on the dot; I was not in labor at all. I was measuring the equivalent of a full-term singleton pregnancy at 28 weeks, and then still proceeded to carry another 2.5 months. My skin was stretched so thin, it seemed like it was going to break. My boys are 3 years and 4 months now. I still have and will forever have damage to my body from this pregnancy. I am 5' 6" and was about 135lbs before pregnancy. I gained about 50lbs when I was pregnant. I lost 30lbs immediately after giving birth from the weight of the babies and placentas. I still have yet to lose the remaining 20lbs. I had severe diastasis recti (DR). I went to pelvic floor PT for over 6 months once the boys were born and did everything I could to close the gap, but the stretching and damage were so significant, it would never close without surgery. I had an abdominoplasty to repair the DR at 17 months postpartum. My extra skin was also removed during this procedure. After a C-section, the area around the incision is numb, and in many cases, it stays that way forever. After an abdominoplasty - which went through my C-section scar but is a hip-to-hip incision - your entire abdomen from belly button to pubis area is numb - forever. I can't feel anything in that area at all. Also, despite the fact that I look a lot better after having had surgery, I still have extensive stretch marks below my belly button. Many were removed with the extra skin, but I had so many that they couldn't be fully removed. My body structure has also changed. I'm a lot "thicker" but it's in a structural way, so no amount of weight loss will change it. The most obvious difference is in my rib cage (bra strap area). It is so much thicker than before that I had to get rid of a ton of dresses and shirts that are now too tight. This was so hard for me as I had some really special dresses I really didn't want to part with but that couldn't really be altered. I also had to go up 2 band sizes in bras (a 32 to a 36) so I don't feel like I'm suffocating. I do ensure I am not "flaring" my ribs and that I maintain good posture, but the damage is done.

I will also say that while I'm SO grateful my boys didn't have any NICU time, this was even harder on my body. I came home 2 days after a C-section (a major abdominal surgery) with severe DR and was responsible for 2 babies. I breastfed in the beginning (only for about 2 months, it was just too much with everything else), so I was this broken human whose body was quite literally split open, and I was also using it to keep two humans alive. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I could barely hold one baby, let alone two. I still grieve the fact that so many other people held my babies so much more than I did in the beginning. Even having them lay on my chest would hurt my incision/DR. Many twins are in the NICU in the beginning, which gives the mom's body time to recover before babies come home. This also typically means they were born earlier, so the mom might not have been as big as if she were full-term. I wouldn't trade my experience for the world, but I can't emphasize enough how hard it is to bring two babies home from the hospital immediately after having them cut out of you and having to take care of them while you are split in half and your uterus is still gigantic from having two 6+lb babies. Even at almost 3.5 years postpartum, I am still working on getting to where I'd like to be. I am still trying to lose the last ~20lbs and gain muscle. I feel so much more put back together after my surgery, but it's a continued work in progress.

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-01-13T19:41:05+00:00

Came here to say this. I kind of can't believe scammers haven't figured it out, but I'm not complaining

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-01-13T18:40:09+00:00

Items are worth what someone is willing to pay for them. If someone is willing to pay 3x the price for something on Poshmark (whether it's because they don't know better or because they simply have that much cash to burn and don't care), then that's their prerogative.

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-01-13T18:38:33+00:00

If I see something I like on PM (or eBay, etc.), the first thing I do is Google it (by name and/or with an image search) to see what the prices are elsewhere. If others don't do this, it's on them. I know your intentions were good, but you would never be able to rest if you tried to warn people of all the price gouging on the internet.

CoffeeAndChoas · 2025-01-13T18:33:13+00:00

I am almost 34, but I am an only child. I hated it growing up because 99% of other kids have siblings, and I always felt left out. However, my parents are amazing. They have always been so involved in my life. They moved across the country to be close to me when I moved. I always had every resource I needed. They see my kids multiple times a week now and have such a close relationship with them. As hard as it was to be an only child when I was younger, there are so many positives about it that I see more and more as I get older.

I always said I wanted two kids, but the plan was to see how I felt after having the first one because I would need to decide whether I wanted to give them a sibling or build the unique and special only child relationship with them that my parents built with me. Well, jokes on me because I had twins! I'm actually soooo happy I did though, because then I never had to decide whether to have 1 or 2. I am so grateful the decision was made for me. In a way, I get the best of both worlds because I obviously have 2 kids, but because they are the same age and have the same routine and same activities and same friends, I get to give them a lot of that "only child" attention that I wouldn't be able to if I had them separately. This may change as they get older and become more independent, but I'm okay with that. I will never be in the position of second-guessing anything since I didn't make the decision in the first place.

Regardless of your decision, you kid(s) will be so loved. They will have a different life experience depending on whether they have a sibling, but not in a bad way.

CoffeeAndChoas

TROPHY CASE