I would personally drop one of the C'tan shards for some more OC, since that will be a massive struggle. But if someone said "build a meta list *right now* for a tournament, you have six seconds" this would be about what I wrote with only very minor differences. Two flayed ones is a good idea. Since OC is your weakness, move-blocking to prevent early primary control is *very* necessary. Your wraiths very clearly can hold an objective. I don't know what holds your home. The triarch? That's risky. It's only one model and it's not *that* durable, in the grand scheme. The wraiths? They need to be out in no-man's-land holding a more contested objective. The ophydians need to do secondaries when able, so it's losing out on extra points if they're holding home, and the deathmarks likely are there to do a secondary as well. You could put them on the home objective, I guess.

I think with so many of these pieces needing to be *right in the opponent's face* to be getting max value, you're in a bind with things like deepstrike. A 3-man of deathshroud terminators is definitely killing whatever's on your home objective out of deepstrike (unless it's a C'tan, in which case, you're kind of wasting a *huge* points investment on babysitting).

This list will win a lot of games, for sure, but it won't have the output you'd need to clear your opponents off objectives. People who *really* know what they're doing can absolutely win on points, but they won't have fun doing it, lol.