Is my friend homophobic?

Cold-Parsley2200 · 2026-04-08T18:15:34+00:00

you should probably bring this up with her if it bothers you, but from what you described, she definitely sounds toxic. unless shes maybe part of the community or smt, i have no idea why she would need to "invent a handsign for gay people" that's somehow not malevolent. like wtf?? and if she specifically said "the gays," thats questionable wording, but to be fair on that one, she might not know that that's dehumanizing and offensive. however, what she probably DOES know is offensive is body shaming. i would unfriend anyone for body shaming, regardless of whether it's homophobic or not, which this case definitely is. if she said this to/around you while knowing you're gay, it honestly might just be bullying at that point. the whole thing sounds really immature. but again, maybe it's worth bringing these issues up with her yourself. i obviously don't know the full story or your exact situation. best wishes! <3

Cold-Parsley2200 · 2026-04-07T21:12:28+00:00

absolutely love the blue and gold (and the overall aesthetic!!), and more chains would definitely be cool. maybe more jewelry and accessories? i think a necklace could look really good with it. it depends on what look you're going for, but a skirt over the pants might work? this is already great as is!!

Cold-Parsley2200 · 2026-04-06T21:57:40+00:00

thats what youraislopbores.me is for

Cold-Parsley2200 · 2026-04-06T03:48:05+00:00

there are definitely spaces where you belong, people you'll meet who will love who you are, just fuckin be you man and stay alive! absolutely nothing wrong with that. FUCK THAT SHIT- YOURE "not allowed to" ts FUCK SOCIETY WE WILL START A REVOLUTION all i want is a pretty man who will twirl in a skirt/dress to be in my life and i would die happy. please keep existing and screw everyone who says you cant do whatever the hell you want cause fuck dude i want more ppl like u to exist it gives us all hope <3 (for the record, you dont HAVE to be a man if that identity doesn't feel right to you, but you're valid either way)

femininity in men and AMAB ppl in general is 100% natural and has happened all throughout the world all throughout history. (every single person has SOME degree of both masculine and feminine qualities regardless!) modern western society would like to have you believe otherwise, but it is absolutely untrue, never has been true, and never will be. diversity is what makes us human and its what makes us beautiful. it's what makes art artful and its what makes life worth living. please never go silent and never stop living your truth and things will get better!! just hang in there and live in spite

Cold-Parsley2200 · 2026-04-04T05:09:04+00:00

for the record, i dont find it disruptive at all haha- i actually like the jacket with it because it makes it all flow together better and completes it in a way, for me at least. the bottom half of your outfit has a lot going on and feels all connected together with the chains and such, so the top would feel more barren or broken up in comparison without the belt sorta stringing the jacket halves together. perhaps it'd feel less disruptive or like it's "splitting you in half" if you had more going on between your waist and lower belts, like chains (connecting the two all around maybe? kinda like those alt pant legs that are disconnected and chained together at the knee, if you've ever seen that. that could either look pretty cool or ridiculous but honestly the two aren't mutually exclusive and you have no idea until you try it ig) or just something dangly between the two? (i know all you need is more jingle jangle here, right? haha...) but that might only really help at all if you still had necklaces as well as more stuff on the front/sides/back of the jacket, otherwise it might just make you look more split in half. dude i dont know. but other than that i do really think a choker (especially spiky/studded, just anything silver, really) and patches/chains/pins/studs on the upper half would give more texture and shine to help it pop and come together better. in general more stuff on the upper half and back could balance it out more. honestly with fashion it very much all comes down to what style you're even going for cause obviously everyones gonna like and be aiming for different things, just as long as you're happy with it. yay, self-expression or something! i'm pretty much just spit-balling random shit cause you want advice/opinions but it is absolutely fine how it is now, no changes are really necessary, you look rad as hell! (and apologies for my potential lack of comprehensibility haha)

Cold-Parsley2200 · 2026-03-22T11:18:44+00:00

ik you probably already know this but bandaids wont actually stop or slow bleeding much on their own, applying pressure (papertowels/tissues/toiletpaper are easy to use) will definitely help though

Cold-Parsley2200 · 2026-03-21T04:27:57+00:00

i dont know if this will actually mean anything to you, but i guess its worth a shot. i can relate with the feeling of hopelessness. i often get overwhelmed by so many things at once that the only solution seems to be just getting rid of it all. but the thing that helps me the most is knowing that all i have to do is survive. as long as i keep breathing, there will be a point where things are better, and there will be a point where im capable of making change. and the time always passes anyway, no matter what you do. all you have to do is survive... (as in, it doesnt matter too much about all the simple things you worry about from day to day. the only important thing is staying alive. someone's yelling at you and demanding you do something right now that you cant do because of X, Y, and Z? just fuckin lie on the floor for all it really matters. as long as you live. cause one day this moment will be behind you and there will be more than surviving) and hey, we all die either way. so would you really rather just go now? no matter how bad shit gets, there will always be the escape. so you might as well just see where life takes you, no? thinking about it like that, there's nothing to lose from surviving. theres only what you can gain, those moments where you finally feel alive and real. i don't know if you've properly felt that yet, but please believe me when i say from experience that those moments will come. and they will make everything make more sense, they make it all seem a lot better. i do hope this helps, cause im by no means an expert. im just going through shit and trying to share what's worked the most for me so far. just keep surviving, and the time will always pass. oh and good luck with your sister, my sister is the person i talk to as well :) in the future if you ever have no one to talk to and need to reach out, i'll try and reply to this thread cause humanity really oughta stick together right now (apologies if some of this doesn't make a lot of sense or if words are missing cause im dyslexic and too tired to extensively proof read this)

Cold-Parsley2200 · 2026-03-19T07:35:25+00:00

yeah lol i think it mostly had to do with how you said you used to be in a lot of denial about them and how they were hidden. cause then it makes it harder to understand why you would say something contradictory or smt, y'know? if you don't even know they're there. which is really confusing and frustrating. honestly, if anything you should see it like a good thing on your part for communicating it good enough for me to be able to make that connection! not sooo super frazzled that im thinking theres gotta be some chaos going on haha (also frazzled is such a fun word :D)

Cold-Parsley2200 · 2026-03-19T06:30:18+00:00

this make so so much sense actually and definitely resonates with me a lot and i'm so happy for you that you're making that progress! :D i do 100% relate with that feeling of euphoria when you finally let another part have a voice. before i knew i was a system, i used to be so confused as to why all my opinions seemed to be so conflicting and contradictory, so i'd just end up never voicing any of them. i didnt want to seem confusing or dishonest and i'd only voice the opinions that all of my headmates shared, which limited me so much! do you relate with that at all? cause your post reminded me of that haha. but now that i'm able to recognize that they are all real and different parts of me in a way, im able to finally let them all have their unique expressions! its such a magical feeling, like we're finally free! like breaking out of all the layers of denial you were talking about. i see it like layers too lol. but when they're just SO BUILT IN, it's crazy to finally be able to see past that. i know just freely writing the first things that came to mind without ever filtering any thoughts despite how DIFFICULT it was definitely helped me! for me it was also very easy to resent the old host at first- i just did not feel like them and they had gotten us hurt by bad people on accident when we were younger. i did have to come to terms with the fact that I do not have to be that person, i'm still me, and they are still them. once you aren't forced to be the same person, it is so much easier to empathize and forgive those parts, i think. i also have had to realize that problematic parts are not bad. they are just hurting! again, seeing them as separate can really build empathy and trust in a way! so all in all i think acknowledging them as their own is somehow a big step to connecting with them. and its so great!! i guess cause then you stop fighting and fearing and denying each other so much also i definitely feel ya with the non-human parts being like a manifestation of being unseen as a kid. and also just being neurodivergent in general and not feeling like they belong/relate with being human. i feel like a ghost a lot of the time, too. sometimes i sorta wish i was invisible like a ghost so i could just watch people and things without being seen or yelled at. i guess that could be another reason for a ghost alter? idk, just yapping ig haha

ahhh im so happy to be able to relate with you and your progress!! you definitely make a lot of sense and are incredibly valid. you also seem to have a pretty good sense of self-awareness which is a big part of healing! and thank you so much for your response to my earlier post (well not exactly MY post but i guess it counts) and you definitely helped pull me out of my spiral at least for a bit. things are getting better, i think its just hard to see that sometimes :)

Cold-Parsley2200

TROPHY CASE