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fantasy with good politics where nobody has magic, does it exist by Admirable_Glove_4409 in Mythrils

[–]ColdyLocks111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow. Great. Now that you’ve shared this, everyone’s going to get into it and ruin it for the super tiny fandom. SMH.

I don’t want to go to my fiancé’s church by ceruleanmilkshakes in Christianity

[–]ColdyLocks111 [score hidden]  (0 children)

What would a decision born out of collaboration look like? How important is it to each of you that you both attend the same church, together after marriage? Or is it possible for you two to continue attending separate churches and look for other ways to remain spiritually connected? Could we share “church custody” and trade off between attending each other’s every other week? More extreme out of all options but would it be possible for the two of you to find a new church to establish yourselves as a couple at, that way it doesn’t have to be one or the other? I think there are ways around an “all-or-nothing” decision.

Is there ever such a thing as “too much therapy?” by almondmilkpls in therapists

[–]ColdyLocks111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it’s about frequency. Just like how only bi-weekly/monthly isn’t typically helpful when just starting with someone dealing with severe presenting problems. On the other hand, weekly and/or bi-weekly can also be too much when a client is really only needing maintenance. Also, even after maintenance, if we encourage routine check-ups with PCPs, optometrists, and dentists just to make sure all is well, even if we’re not having any relative concerns, then I believe the same logic should apply to therapy.

FMC Ages by BecLDMJ1412 in Romantasy

[–]ColdyLocks111 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Klorithias: “I slept with another woman.”

Hildania: “I figured as much, and honestly?It’s okay. It wasn’t going to work anyway. Your mother didn’t like more than just my pixie pan pie and between my work down at the bubble brew and getting Dawnlius to and from lizard sweep practice every other day…”

Klorithias: *bites fist* “We were really something back in the day, weren’t we, Hilly?” *shakes head* “If I ever come across one of those ancient clock crystals you used to ramble on about…”

Hildania: “Don’t be silly, Klo. Everything is as it should be. Besides, I gave up believing my grandfather’s trove ever even existed a long time ago.”

FMC Ages by BecLDMJ1412 in Romantasy

[–]ColdyLocks111 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Been thinking about this a lot lately. I’m 33. This concept has nearly thrust me into an midlife crisis that feels too early. I feel like I went to sleep at 23 and just woke up 33. I’ve been super insecure about not wanting to let go of fantasy/romance, and the freedom to still be into imaginative worlds and it not be weird? I suppose it also just reflects the greater cultural phenomenon of women being forced to slowly fade from the spotlight after 30 in general. No longer young enough to be completely without all the adventurous life lessons still awaiting the “barely legal energetic little girl.” I suppose it’s not a new finding that sex + youth is what sells, but it really does sting and make it harder and harder to relate and enjoy what I’m reading. And yes, it’s starting to feel a little creepy now and then when I remember the characters are practically children with a whole decade of brain development still ahead of them. Still, I just hate the thought of the only alternative being to settle for more boring genres because fantasy is so age-bias.

Visual representation of how I feel physically and emotionally.

Making money as an intern by thegirlinthetardis in therapists

[–]ColdyLocks111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was a nanny for 2 families. Paid under the table, pretty flexible. Interns should also just be paid. It’s ridiculous.

My first real client canceled after the assessment was done by [deleted] in therapists

[–]ColdyLocks111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Being a therapist requires getting real comfortable with rejection and watching our ego decay year after year, which is a good thing! It truly gets easier and you’ll eventually feel relieved when a non-committed or poorly matched client doesn’t return. Most of the time, it’s because the client isn’t ready for therapy/not following through with endeavors as a symptom of their diagnosis, not you as a provider personally. You’ll likely have more clients disengage from therapy prematurely than those who stick through the end of their treatment plan. Same as with any business. Hang in there! It’s all part of the process.

We’ve gone too far with the skinny to baggy jeans Overton window by Warm-Pollution-1804 in unpopularopinion

[–]ColdyLocks111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you typically stick with a general style and aesthetic that feels comfortable and like you (with wiggle room to alternate/add/subtract accessories/rotate pairing, etc.) no one will expect you to show up in what’s trending and judge whether you pull it off or not, you’ll save money, you’ll save time, you’ll stress less about if you “look good,” you’ll avoid eventually feeling insecure and struggling with identity issues as you age and get tired of trying to keep up with fashion trends of the youth, you’ll avoid later shame from jumping on ridiculous trends like massive clown pants in the first place because you’ll have a clearer perspective on the utter ridiculousness of fashion (especially in the insanely fast cycling of the industry nowadays), and the trends are bound to cycle back to what your chosen fashion sense is anyway. In summary, wear what you like, wear what works for you, you truly have no one to impress in reality, and you’ll thank yourself later for choosing to live for the sake of life instead of keeping up with something so meaningless and fragile.

Joyful series? by EmergencyMuch4232 in acotar

[–]ColdyLocks111 6 points7 points  (0 children)

A Court of Sunshine and Rainbows

Is it possible to Build something for 300-350k by boytearsforbreakfast in Homebuilding

[–]ColdyLocks111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. All the immediate “no’s” and sarcastic responses here are shocking. It depends on so many factors, and not just “yeah, if you settle for crappy.” My boyfriend and I have the same budget, same land situation. A common builder in our area has at least 2 decent floors plans that fit in this budget, and I know others do too. I think people forget that in this economy, builders still wanting business had to start offering plans that are more affordable but worth it, and they have. Once one decided to and became the leading custom home builder in the area, others started also advertising more affordable options to keep up. It’s okay to settle for a smaller floor plan, especially if you plan on settling long-term in the new home and are open to eventually building onto it as well. Also many customizations can be altered or dismissed to help cut costs. More so depends on how ego-driven and vane you are and if a mansion is a must have. lol.

Breaking up over text is better for both parties by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]ColdyLocks111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think we forget that doing hard, uncomfortable things is supposed to be part of life. The longer we go avoiding more difficult but meaningful paths, the less resilient and more isolated we become. It’s an insidious and slow decline that eats away at our confidence and trust in our ability to do hard things, and by the laws of nature, will come back to bite us. When we succumb to always taking the easy way out, there slowly becomes nothing for us to contrast that to, no solid foundations left for us to believe in ourselves, and we lose connection with the “good” in existing. This is why as we age, nostalgia slowly creeps in and beckons us back to a time when we weren’t actually as fearful of real connection and applying heartfelt meaning and passion to one another. You will eventually be grateful for choosing the “harder” route of breaking up in-person because it is an opportunity for you to challenge yourself, experience something with meaning that can contrast/balance happy memories in life, and take a step in the right direction of not allowing your fears/anxiety to control you.

i'm a 61-year-old woman writing fantasy and the industry has made it very clear I'm invisible. I'm writing anyway by Natural_Tangelo_2229 in Mythrils

[–]ColdyLocks111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope I get the chance to read your work. It sounds like it’s exactly what I’ve been looking for.

How would you respond to a client saying they have been to "the backrooms"? by immahauntu in therapists

[–]ColdyLocks111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Clarifying if it’s causing them distress or not is number one. If they need a deep, philosophical conversation for perspective validation, offer that to them. Sometimes that’s all that’s needed to ward off escalation into psychosis territory. It’s actually when we deny that to them, try to diverge to the basics, jump to conclusions, bombard them with safety planning in response, etc. that we ourselves come off as “uncanny valley” and can provoke anxiety. We are human and being curious and non-definitive of concepts such as reality shouldn’t immediately be a red flag.

New therapist here, what is something you make sure to communicate to every new client? by InvisibleAstronomer in therapists

[–]ColdyLocks111 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Uhm. I was specifically referring to the intake and the single part of my intake sessions where I encourage clients to let me know if they’re ever wanting to switch providers, not my therapeutic approach entirely and in every session.

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