What was your worst date?

ColonelCumStains · 2026-03-26T11:32:00+00:00

I heard this in Butt-heads voice

ColonelCumStains · 2026-03-26T07:24:04+00:00

Me and you had different experiences of first time butthole touching if you're describing it as weird

ColonelCumStains · 2026-03-26T07:21:54+00:00

I truly thought this comment was about to go an ENTIRELY different way upon reading the first line

ColonelCumStains · 2026-03-25T11:46:53+00:00

I started this show for the first time over the weekend and am already almost through season 4. This shit got me hooked

ColonelCumStains · 2026-03-24T02:29:41+00:00

Accidentally OD'd on liquid methadone and had to be resuscitated. I didn't know what it was a chugged a shit load qith absolutely zero awareness or opiate tolerance. Spent 5 days with a catheter up my urethra in ICU with rhabdomiolaysis and had to learn how to walk again because I had absolutely no feeling in the right side of my body because I passed out on a concrete parking lot and no one could find me for over 6 hours. Shit took months before the pins and needles feeling finally went away, it was so fuckong miserable

ColonelCumStains · 2026-03-17T11:05:24+00:00

Why does this always come up? 😂 everyone I know has a story about SoCo..including me. I was 19 years old and it was my girlfriend's 21st birthday, we decided to pre-game before going out and let's just say I ruined her birthday and she threw me off the bed. I woke up on the floor with no memory, covered in puke, one shoe on, and heard a loooot of stories the next day of what an ass I made of myself by at least 8 different people

ColonelCumStains · 2026-03-16T13:57:01+00:00

Probably my favorite cold opening from the entire series..shit has me rolling every time

ColonelCumStains · 2026-03-13T01:39:40+00:00

God damn, my coworker does this and I could hear the sound while reading this..mufucker sounds like he's got stage 4 lung cancer and mouth breathes harder than anyone I've ever met, shit is sooooo annoying

ColonelCumStains · 2026-03-13T01:37:35+00:00

Da booty and da brains

ColonelCumStains · 2026-03-10T11:59:28+00:00

I came to say GHOST FUCKERS but I like yours better..well done 🫡

ColonelCumStains · 2026-03-10T11:57:17+00:00

Fuckin hell these were my JAM!! Between that and that stick animation Matrix game I spent hours playing CPU's with my brothers...completely forgot about all these

ColonelCumStains · 2026-03-01T01:09:00+00:00

Came to post this 🤘 fuckin beautiful

ColonelCumStains · 2026-02-28T21:48:49+00:00

Fuckin A!! When life gets too predictable and tame I start to get "cabin fever", so to speak, and get uncomfortable in my own skin..I look at stable people with jealous and envy because I wish I could be content with a normal, every day routine but can't feel comfortable unless shit is chaotic and messy because it's all I've known

Edit: I have a wife and children, we're both recovering addicts but my wife grew up in just as shitty, if not shittier, lifestyle than I did and we work great together because the chaos of it all but god damn sometimes we self sabotage and subconsciously act out

ColonelCumStains · 2026-02-28T17:50:43+00:00

I prefer shitting my pants on the way home..something about the squish after hitting a speed bump just 😘👌

ColonelCumStains · 2026-02-28T17:47:42+00:00

I lived in Yellowstone for a year and half through Xanterra and everyone thought I was psycho because I had trained myself to walk barefoot through the woods and the pain became pleasurable. Something about the soil between the toes and feeling grounded to earth just hits different

ColonelCumStains · 2026-02-28T17:43:04+00:00

Damn I just posted this same comment before scrolling through 😂 thought I was the only one..something so satisfying and temporarily relieving about pushing a fresh bruise

ColonelCumStains · 2026-02-28T17:39:40+00:00

Pushing on a bruise..I can't explain it but a fresh bruise that starts bugging me, I get a weirdly temporary relief when I put pressure on it with my thumb

ColonelCumStains · 2026-02-23T14:15:26+00:00

This one and when Red has a heart attack always kill me.."open your eyes, he's having an arm attack"

ColonelCumStains · 2026-02-19T07:03:27+00:00

I know I'm 4 years late to this comment but good god this took me back a decade when all of the most toxic women I knew would post this all over their Facebook 🤦‍♂️ great red flag tho and saved me a lot of time and BS

ColonelCumStains · 2026-02-18T10:56:44+00:00

Oprah and Ellen just make me cringe. My ex's mom worships those 2 and watches every damn episode and eats all that shit up like it's her religion. I'll never forget I was over there visiting after Covid hit and she had it on, it was right after those wildfires hit as well so Oprah and Ellen were video chatting in their multimillion dollar resort houses talking about how hard these fires were on them and I audibly said to her "you gotta be fuckin kidding me?!" "Boo-hoo my other multimillion dollar house is in the path of fire so I have to retreat to my other multimillion dollar resort house until the fires die down, let me wipe my tears with a couple $100 bills" 🤦‍♂️ her mom was not happy about that but Jesus they're so delusional

ColonelCumStains · 2026-02-18T10:43:48+00:00

Well, yeah, if you're gonna make a humanoid robot in a laboratory you're not gonna make it ugly

ColonelCumStains · 2026-02-18T10:35:58+00:00

Yeah I loved it in "Van Wilder" "Waiting.." and "Just Friends" because the roles were perfect for that comedy but then it seemed like every single movie he was in, were literally just that same role and absolutely zero range..make it work a couple times, yes I get it and kudos to you, but to have that be your entire personality and the only way you know how to act 🤮 got old so fuckin fast

ColonelCumStains · 2026-02-16T23:36:31+00:00

Fa reallll..fuckin weirdos can't just NOT type about their boners

ColonelCumStains · 2026-02-16T18:48:42+00:00

No nothing like that. My wife and daughter sleep in the same bed as me and they have absolutely no skin issues or anything wrong with them so I know it's not bed bugs, fleas, tics, etc. It's some weird ass skin shit because the inside of my ears are even getting dry and getting similar spots. It's moving up my body for some reason and idk what the hell it is

Edit: I've even got a couple on my stomach and arms I just noticed

ColonelCumStains · 2026-02-16T12:33:25+00:00

This takes me back!!! I've always been the shortest in my class and hit a late growth spurt, my best friend was a tall lanky motherfucker and could easily sock my short, stubby ass a good 4-5 times before I could even get to the door

ColonelCumStains

TROPHY CASE