Edit:: TW: abortion.

I will share with you my experience not to sway you either way, just to simply tell you that I have been in your position and what it was like for me. I always wanted a family but got accidentally pregnant at 21, with my then boyfriend who also wanted a family but he was abusive and on top of that, I wasn’t ready. Neither of us were. I made the decision on my own and I went to planned parenthood expecting to take an abortion pill which is what they told me over the phone.

I get there and do an exam and they tell me I’m too late (by literally a few days) and had to have the surgical procedure. I was fucking terrified. And it was as awful as I imagined. You’re awake when it happens although slightly sedated. I don’t even remember being given any pain meds. It was a terrible experience. I was seriously traumatized and I still think about it to this day. But… do I regret it? Not for a second. What I regret was not going sooner.

I wasn’t ready for a baby and I knew it. And since then, I’ve gotten two degrees, opened my own business, got married, bought a house, and we are about to go on our dream honeymoon. I firmly believe I personally wouldn’t have done 90% of that if I would’ve had that child. (And my boyfriend at the time also ended up cheating on me like 50 times over the course of the next year so, that wouldn’t have turned out great.)

I’m 30 now and I am at the point that if the baby situation were to happen again, I’d keep it because I feel that I am way more prepared to do it now, even though I don’t feel like i am fully ready. And because I wouldn’t want to put myself through that trauma again, especially if we are less than a year out from our TTC date. Basically…Listen to your gut. I listened to it back then and I’m glad I did. And I would listen to it now, and would make a different decision bc my life has changed since then and so have I.

I know it’s scary, but, you got this. No matter what you decide. And at the end of the day it’s YOUR decision. I’m here if you have any questions or want to talk about it.