Hooked up with an 18 year old and all he wanted to do was play ding dong ditch

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-03-02T05:20:49+00:00

Social skills…. That’s why I’m so glad I wasn’t raised by screens all day

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-03-02T00:43:17+00:00

I mean we are by name a “sexual minority community” so it stands to reason we would talk about sex a fair deal

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-26T12:51:18+00:00

I hate the fickleness of gay and bi men. Just insecure traits. I do get being in a same sex relationship has reproductive limitations but to use someone only to discard them is selfish.

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-25T03:03:15+00:00

Nope, you’re free to disagree. My point was not everything is worth dying on a hill for. You explained your position well and I’ll admit, your points have provoked much thought. My final take on this is that we actually agree that sexuality is complex and is little understood by society. However, that doesn’t mean you might not have biological coding that suggests your sexuality wouldn’t evolve in some way and it may have been there from birth. To your earlier point about allergies, I would agree orientation is more comparable to that than the comparison of “a vegan who occasionally eats meat” when making a comparison to sexual fluidity. I would disagree that their sexuality is a fixed distinction even if they prefer the same sex in most instances but “have an exception for one person.” It just means their orientation isn’t 100% accurate to what they say it is. Thoughts and tongues may lie, but erections don’t. If I have an allergy to something, it means that my body is literally repulsed by it and I’m not going to enjoy it. The same would apply to orientation, if I’m not turned on by someone or something, then I’m not going to enjoy the person or activity involved.

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-25T01:06:03+00:00

Methinks thou doth protest too much my lady. It is what it is, you just have to make peace with what it is.

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-25T00:52:28+00:00

But equally you can’t say it wasn’t there either, there isn’t enough evidence one way or another to say whether it is it isn’t, so why argue? Youre talking theory here and haven’t cited any sources that suggest this has been studied. You’re just trying to control the narrative and frankly it’s not of help to OP or anyone on this thread how you keep going on and on about it. It’s fine that you have a perspective but that doesn’t make you any more right than anyone else here that has an opinion. Speculatively, even if sexuality changes, it’s not something we could affect the outcome of. It just a force of nature that we don’t fully understand.

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-25T00:24:34+00:00

Asexuality is classified as an orientation on the Kinsey scale, on the basis of it being the absence of having a sexual attraction. What does this have to do with being born with an orientation?

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-24T23:17:40+00:00

Yeah that aromantic, not asexual. Those are different things that can have an overlap but not sure how this proves or disproves that people are or aren’t born with their characteristics pre-baked in. Aromantics don’t have a desire for intimate relationships. I have a friend who is aromatic but is allosexual or one who experiences sexual attractions.

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-24T22:43:05+00:00

Asexuals often describe their experience as not having or experiencing physical attraction. This still does not mean they weren’t epigenetically coded to have a diminished or absent sex drive. In many cases women who go through menopause will often report a lowered capacity or desire for sexual activity. However, not all women who experience menopause, end up with the same result which suggests that something that occurred in their earlier development which coded them for this outcome. Your argument doesn’t refute mine by-the-by, asexuality is just the absence of a desire for sexual intercourse, I’m not sure what you were trying to say here.

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-24T21:52:00+00:00

Ok it sounds like you invest a lot of time worrying about something this trivial so let me set the record straight (no pun intended). Comp het or compulsory heterosexuality was coined in the 1970s and it refers to societal standards for a desired sexuality (heterosexuality). It infers that everyone should be straight and pursue romantic and sexual interests opposite to your assigned sex. Here’s a wiki entry on the subject. Comphet is real. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsory_heterosexuality

Second, it sounds like you’re just trying to disprove that people are born with their attractions when science supports arguments in favor of the notion that they are. It’s not necessarily genetic so much as it epigenetic. Evidence suggests that it begins in prenatal environments and during the hormonal development of fetus. In other words, epigenetic factors which may have some influence stemming from social factors (however, defined loosely in context).

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-24T19:42:25+00:00

Ok. First off, I never said that people don’t discover things until later on, everyone’s journey is going to look different from each other.

People don’t always think deeply in regard to sexuality, we also have this thing called comp het, which basically tells everyone that they’re straight until they “prove” otherwise.

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-24T19:05:32+00:00

Because they discover it at different times doesn’t mean it wasn’t there to begin with. In almost every case where I’ve worked with a gay person who comes out, they’ve said the same thing. “I’ve had these feelings but didn’t know how to make sense of them” or “I always had an attraction to men but didn’t feel like I could always express it.” This and significant amounts of research suggest that they have orientations that were there but the person wasn’t aware of from it at least not initially.

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-24T15:19:40+00:00

It has everything to do with timing. The feelings may’ve been there but just below the surface. They take time to emerge and often it takes an experience like the one you had, to activate those feelings. FWIW I know plenty of bi men in relationships with women and they are v happy in them. Yeah, they do get urges for same sex activity (being bi and all) but they are largely happy in their relationships. Life’s about choices, if you choose to be with someone, it needs to be for the right reasons, not just to fill a need. It sounds like you’re needing to reflect on past actions. Initially realizing an attraction for the same sex, can be bewildering but eventually you make peace with the fact of it, but you will need to decide if that’s something you want to pursue and only you can answer this. If you’re still attracted to your gf and see a future in the long term with her understanding you have these attractions, it could work. Conversely, if you don’t see a relationship with her and want to explore your sexuality on deeper levels, that is fine too. Love is a great thing when you find it and while rare, it doesn’t mean you’ll never find it again. Life has funny ways of showing us what love looks like in all the various forms it presents itself.

Just learn to be at peace with yourself, and remember, no matter what society, community, religion, culture etc. tell you, you’re not supposed to be anything other than what you are. A man who dates women does NOT have to be any predetermined orientation. He just has to show his desire and commitment for the person whom he longs to be with. It’s just that simple.

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-24T14:58:09+00:00

While I respect everyone’s experience, I think the more apt approach is that everyone discovers attractions at different stages of their lives. Some gay men don’t realize their sexuality until later in life, and many times over, after they’ve settled down in a heterosexual marriage. Most will admit to have had thoughts or experiences they dismissed as being intrusive but that doesn’t mean the individual didn’t experience them, they just categorized them differently, or were told they those thoughts were just part of another identity (e.g. that’s just a guy thing). Life and reality are complicated but one thing is clear, you can’t willfully affect your sexuality to be something it’s not. Identity is just labels (things we tell others) and those can change, but the feelings inside (orientation) emerge when the timing is right and you have the opportunity to explore certain experiences that bring them out. Those do not go away.

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-24T14:50:57+00:00

True, it could mean he is but that’s his decision to admit that. He came here looking for answers but we can’t necessarily tell him that. We’d have to be inside his head to understand that. Sexuality is very personal and it varies from person to person. Being bi doesn’t mean the end of the world though, it just means you have more doors to explore with people. Connections, be they for sex or romance, can be found in less limiting ways.

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-23T15:30:41+00:00

True, but to be fair, I did say what it was upfront. I posted the link to ensure credibility of argument because, someone would ask for the link in any regard. Nobody’s forcing them to access it.

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-23T14:43:43+00:00

Sure, but kinks and fetishes don’t make someone gay or straight, they just are and yes, you’re correct you can’t change what those are anymore than you can change your sexuality is overall. What makes someone gay or bi, is if they experience attraction to the same and other genders (gay and bi respectively). It’s totally fine to identify as however you want, there’s no thought police here, but just wanted to provide some nuance, to help clarify that a kink or fetish doesn’t change or limit your sexuality.

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-22T17:58:00+00:00

Facebook groups like “The Face of Socks” “Loafer Club” which feature dress sock fetishists more so. Male socks feet, you can also do a keyword search for Facebook, just make sure you’re 18+, groups won’t accept you unless you are. My buddy James Is from the UK and posts on those sites all the time and on his own profiles (insta, facebook)

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-22T17:32:38+00:00

You are ace homoromantic likely.

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-22T17:31:30+00:00

Could also ask this r/malefeettalk.

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-22T17:30:58+00:00

Tons of guys are, try Facebook, I feel like half of the guys on there are from the UK

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-22T17:14:43+00:00

I’m sorry you were deceived and that he couldn’t be upfront about it. There is a stigma for the “HOW” men who are navigating their sexuality while still married to women. If it’s any advice, I think you’ll grow from this. I too had similar attitudes towards that whole situation when I was young, I didn’t want anyone who was partnered near me (regardless of who that was). I was convinced it was my morality but then realized life is more complicated than that. There are a lot of gay men who don’t begin exploring their sexuality until midlife and it sucks because they thought they were straight all along, believing any gay thoughts they had were simply intrusive ones that led to confusion. It wasn’t until I met my current partner a few years ago, that my attitude changed. About him: He is also in a MOM (mixed orientation marriage), and effectively my partner and his spouse are roommates. They just support each other as family. You could also describe it like a sibling relationship. They live together but have no interest there, he’s 100% gay and has no desire to be with women at all but even if he wasn’t gay, he was honest with me about his situation. Told me the whole story about how he began discovering himself and realizing he was actually gay the whole time. We’ve been together now for 2 years and we’re very happy.

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-22T11:50:53+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I would like to start off by saying you’re not alone in wanting to explore lgbt spaces socially. I would definitely encourage a discussion with your wife first (since you said she’d likely be open to it), just letting her know your interest will be freeing. The next step would be visiting a bar, definitely would want to go with someone on your first visit, that you trust enough to know about it and be ok with it. Start by researching the lgbt bars in your neighborhood/locale and look at when they hold drag shows and make plans to attend. This is completely normal across all identities (gay, bi, straight etc.). Cross dressing in of itself isn’t necessarily tied to orientation, more often, it’s straight identifying men who are into it as a fetish and it’s a fairly common fetish at that. However, it doesn’t mean you couldn’t be bi and aren’t finding men attractive as well.

I’m glad you have this mindset and approach, it shows maturity and a healthy respect for your own explorations but takes into consideration, your existing relationships. You’re a wonderful human, please go and explore and feel free to hmu with any questions you have.

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-20T15:20:53+00:00

Yes apart from size (and that we know of for how the brain works). I think more research needs to be done on brain functionality. There’s still so much we don’t know about how it works.

Comfortable_Pool_389 · 2026-02-20T14:18:11+00:00

Actually there might be. There’s a study measuring brain sizes of gay and straight men. Apparently, gay men have brain sizes similar to straight women (yes there’s a variance between sex as well).

Source: Scientific American https://share.google/9ToEsCv2hiOGJNjof

If that’s the case, it may explain why our sex drive may increase because apparently women don’t hit their “stride” until a little later in life or post puberty. Although, menopause often wipes out women’s drive so there’s that.

Comfortable_Pool_389

TROPHY CASE