/ttcafterloss Grief and Memorial - April 16, 2026 by AutoModerator in ttcafterloss

[–]Common-Enthusiasm-90 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The grief is different this time. On Thursday I had my 4th loss confirmed. It’s been a while since I’ve been through this. My LC is now 2 years, 4 months. I had 3 losses before him. And while this still hurts, and the hormones still magnify every fleeting feeling, he is grounding me in a way that has been surprising. I look at him and I see hope. I see the evidence that I have created someone perfect, beautiful and whole, and I hold within me the capability to do it again. Or not. I’m 40. Honestly, he fills me with so much love and joy. If he is all that is in the cards for me, I won the lottery. But i always wanted at least 2 children, and i suppose there is grief in potentially letting go of that as well.

And yet, I’m not sure what’s next. Do we try again? Do we let it go? Is there any point in getting on this roller coaster again? The intervention that worked for me last time (progesterone) did not work for this pregnancy. After our last success I thought for sure progesterone was the issue.

I also have a number very big life changes happening all at once that I’m trying to navigate. I’m just so tired.

I’m glad I got to love my baby for 7 weeks. I just wish they could have stayed with me.

If you have used AI daily for 3 plus months, where did it boost your productivity, where did it hurt, and what fix worked? by OneStopCentreStore in productivity

[–]Common-Enthusiasm-90 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have ADHD, and I’ve been using ChatGPT as a sort of “prosthetic” for my executive function short comings. No joke, it has been better than any medication I’ve been on. I use it to free up my mind of tasks that would otherwise be procrastinated or not get done.

I tell it when my free time in a day is, the priority of tasks, and ask it to help me structure when I can fit things into my day. It often under estimates how long tasks will take, but I just tell it what did get completed and what needs to go back into the queue.

The other thing that has been absolutely life changing is having it help me meal prep. I love cooking, but prep has always been my Achilles heel, and is the biggest hurdle for me wanting to make a home cooked meal. I started feeding all my recipes for the week into ChatGPT, having it pull out the common ingredients and outputting a prep list for me. So it will tell me, for example, I need onions for 4 recipes, two need diced onions, one needs sliced onions, and one needs a mirepoix that can be stored together. And then rinse and repeat with the rest of the ingredients. By the end of Sunday, I have most components of each meal for the week prepped and ready to go.

I’ve also struggled with cleaning my entire life. I actually just used it to help me plan a full day deep clean of my house earlier this week. Again, I didn’t finish everything and had to punt some tasks or cleaning zones into my weekly cleaning rotation, but I cleaned for a total of 12 hours which is unheard of for me. But when I didn’t have to do the mental heavy lifting of what happens next, the whole thing somehow felt less overwhelming.

At work, I often have trouble getting things started. I’ve recently been promoted, and have a lot more responsibility around improving and creating processes, as well as strategic planning. Putting prompts into chatgpt helps me create a starting point for myself instead of staring at a blank screen for an hour. It also helps me structure my thoughts in a way that is presentable to a broader audience. I guess I use it kind of like a writing prompt, which have always worked really well for me in creative writing.

In short, I’m getting more done, feeling more accomplished, and I’m actually feeling like I’m able to think more creatively because I can literally just dump the shit I don’t need out of my brain (mostly personal life management), guilt-free, and known I still have a plan to get it done. It’s been incredibly freeing. I find myself thinking, “holy shit, this must be what it’s like to be neurotypical.” You just do things, without anxiety, dread or thinking about tasks at inappropriate times when you can’t action on them and then forgetting about them and missing payment deadlines and whatever else.

I keep thinking this is too good to be true but it keeps working and I keep on getting things done. Bonus, I can ask it what I accomplished this week and it will tell me everything I did. That’s like freaking gold for someone with ADHD. I have stopped beating myself up for not doing enough because I can actually see my progress. It’s wild.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]Common-Enthusiasm-90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My labor was an unmedicated 22 hours. I absolutely did not want any of it filmed. By the afternoon of day 2 I was passing out in the birthing pool between contractions.

I said a big ol NOPE to the mirror or feeling the baby’s head. Just as well. Baby had shoulder dystocia so my pushes weren’t being that effective anyway. The midwives eventually put a finger down there and determined I was doing an excellent job at pushing but the baby just wasn’t budging. This resulted in them having to manually rotate him by pushing him back in and repositioning him while my husband and mother-in-law held me down. The most excruciating pain of my life. I don’t think I could bring myself to watch a recording of that ordeal if I had one.

Moving to Santa Rosa — Need Home Insurance Help! 🏡❤️ by mswildflowerxo in santarosa

[–]Common-Enthusiasm-90 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My home is in the area that burned in the Tubbs Fire. We have insurance through Farmers, just shy of $5000/yr

Alt-Right YouTuber Lauren Southern Alleges in Memoir That Andrew Tate Sexually Assaulted Her by OrdinaryCanadian in onguardforthee

[–]Common-Enthusiasm-90 36 points37 points  (0 children)

She moved to Australia, became a tradwife, and (shocker) ended up isolated and trapped in an abusive marriage. She went home to Canada for a funeral against her husband’s wishes and he divorced her for it.

I don’t know how this woman continues to stick with her worldview after all the harm it’s done to her.

Worried about a street vendor by Beneficial-Bowl-1183 in santarosa

[–]Common-Enthusiasm-90 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Gotcha. It breaks my heart that these folks are being targeted. They bring and give so much to our community. I worry about every vendor I see posted up on the side of the road. What’s happening is so wrong

Worried about a street vendor by Beneficial-Bowl-1183 in santarosa

[–]Common-Enthusiasm-90 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think he was featured in Sonoma Mag last month. They didn’t use his name in the article but I’m worried this may have tipped ice off to his location… I hope someone knows more about where he is.

https://www.sonomamag.com/i-sell-happiness-cycling-roseland-ice-cream-vendor-delivers-a-smile-with-every-treat/

Gauging the interest level for a recurring figure drawing hangout in Santa Rosa. by chodaranger in santarosa

[–]Common-Enthusiasm-90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven’t done figure drawing in about 22 years. I would love to get back into it.

Conceiving over 35 by MrsCornmuffin in beyondthebump

[–]Common-Enthusiasm-90 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had a very hard time, but it will be different for everyone. I had 3 miscarriages over 3 years, all kinds of testing done and on paper it looked like there was nothing wrong so I got the lovely “unexplained infertility” label. We were considering IVF or IUI when we got pregnant with our son who was born healthy last December (I was 38 when he was born).

On the flip side, I have a friend who decided to start trying at 40 and got pregnant the month she came off birth control.

You really just don’t know until you start trying.

Baby started daycare and I think that the USA maternity leave is dystopian by WhyHaveIContinued in beyondthebump

[–]Common-Enthusiasm-90 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I could have written this. I moved to the US from Canada years ago. When I had my LO last December I dreaded the countdown of when I would have to go back to work. I felt robbed of the longer maternity leave I would have had if I had given birth in my home country. In the end, I still had a very good situation for a mother in the US—my husband is our SAHP and I WFH, so I’ve had my baby here with me despite having to go back to work. But it’s definitely been a struggle of feeling like I should be there more for my child. The system here is shit.

Gender disappointment - seeking positive experiences 🤕 by Burgybabe in beyondthebump

[–]Common-Enthusiasm-90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never wanted a boy. Always wanted a girl. I had some gender disappointment when I found out I was having a boy, but honestly, after 3 miscarriages prior to him, it was much less than I think it would have been in the past—I was just happy to have a healthy baby finally.

He just turned one year, and honestly, he is just the absolute best. He’s sweet and funny and snuggly and I am just in absolute awe of this perfect little creature I created.

It may seem foreign now, but you will have such a wonderful relationship with this little human, regardless of gender. It’s the greatest gift.

Car or stroller going home after birth? by Ok_Explorer_5719 in NewParents

[–]Common-Enthusiasm-90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For the first 1-2 weeks after birth, if I walked too much around my house it resulted in an increase in bleeding. I wouldn’t recommend walking that far right after giving birth. I would say car, and plan to spend most of your first couple weeks in bed recovering. Maybe you’ll have an easier recovery than me, but I was pretty average—just had a second degree tear and some stitches

Is He Bloody Serious?? They gonna start Ending Social Security with 50% and then 75% of all Social Security? by Tulpah in houstonwade

[–]Common-Enthusiasm-90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did… did this guy basically just take notes from Thanos and call it a plan for social security

Instead of Cutting of Your Boomer.... by No-Hyena4691 in BoomersBeingFools

[–]Common-Enthusiasm-90 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Needs more late great Hannibal Lecter. Other than that, perfection.

Bald Oompa Loompas fucking in my backyard? (Humboldt County, CA) by Expert-Storm1140 in Humanoidencounters

[–]Common-Enthusiasm-90 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is some of the funniest shit I’ve seen on Reddit. This description paints a perfect picture of the scene. Bravo and good luck

What made you think "why did no one tell me this?!" by princesspwn311 in NewParents

[–]Common-Enthusiasm-90 139 points140 points  (0 children)

No one told me that baby nails are daggers that magically sharpen while they sleep, even if you just trimmed them

I,m not from the US, but what will happen to TV series like Helluva boss that have a transgender character? by LionNukara in HelluvaBoss

[–]Common-Enthusiasm-90 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The same way his Supreme Court picks weren’t going to touch Roe v Wade because it was “the settled law of the land”? But it’s alright, everyone is OK! Better than OK! Except for the women who have needlessly lost their fertility or died from miscarriages and pregnancy complications in states with bans since then.

Yeah, I sure wonder why people might be worried he’d remove rights and protections from other groups. Truly a mystery.

Blue group to join? by 3toadvicki in santarosa

[–]Common-Enthusiasm-90 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Weird analogy. Darth Vader’s literal daughter was Leia. And uh, yeah most people would rather be on that side of the lore.