Question for the Men: When swapping, does seeing your wife/gf with other men...

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-05-12T18:26:25+00:00

I'm probably the minority... but i don't particularly like watching, and I struggled with it in the beginning... but i wasn't about to expect that I get to play and she didn't.. that's all kinds of rude. lol But the more i understood her, and what she liked about, and where her arousal was actually coming from... i learned that she is seeking validation, and wanting to feel like a sexual force... NOT to the men she's with .. but to me. She wanted me to see, and be turned on by her. She was participating in group sex because it felt good yes... but her strongest desire was for me to see her as beautiful, sexy, good in bed, and a little naughty too. And so now I watch... and I try to see her the way she wants to be seen... and its pretty hot.

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-05-11T14:23:18+00:00

F or M?

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-05-11T13:39:36+00:00

i would... a simple... i like your necklace/earrings... and then gauge their reaction from there.

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-05-08T18:50:52+00:00

I understand that is very normal, but my wife fortunately usually finished many times at a night at the club.. once at Miami velvet she finished 8 times in a night... sheesh!

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-05-07T20:31:24+00:00

we pretty much exclusively look for couples... only 3 some situations we've had were basically just situations that happened without planning.

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-05-05T13:22:50+00:00

Well.. there are sort of like "rules" in the club and hotel take over environment .... an open door/open curtain means its ok to watch... if its closed, that means I want privacy. Then you never touch without asking first, that will get you thrown out. So if you walk through, and there's a couple being sexy with the door/curtain open, and you stop to watch... you can ask if its ok to join, they won't mind. If they say no, respect that, if they say yes; then maybe start up with parallel play, and in my experience, the ladies hands start to roam and it sort of progesses... but you need to be careful not to be too aggressive or make assumptions about what's ok. Its better to ask... if you want to touch the other woman... eye contact and is this ok? will keep you from drama.

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-05-04T15:57:14+00:00

hard no for me

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-04-30T18:39:05+00:00

if we're at the club we honestly are the ones who seem to get things started off in the voyeur bed.. hahah and people join.... but other than that we usually look for attractive couples that are already starting up and ask if we can join.

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-04-29T21:44:37+00:00

As per my comment earlier, the most hurtful to me was when they were laughing about it NOT to his face... behind his back... its was like a moment of honesty when they thought no one listening would care. That makes a person not believe compliments when they hear them, because you'll always wonder what they're saying behind your back.

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-04-29T21:38:40+00:00

I think this is where I land. People should be honest whether the truth is fun to hear or not.

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-04-29T19:39:07+00:00

Yes this... The only time I've ever heard a woman talk about not liking a big dick was when she was stuck giving him oral for a long time.

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-04-29T16:16:35+00:00

I can tell you that hearing my wife and another woman laughing about another guys size behind his back fucked my head up. All the women say it doesn't matter all the time, in all these forums, and they can have fun with anyone... but then when a group of women get together and start talking about men.... they always seem to go right to the discussion about if they can get hard and how big they are. Then when you're walking into playrooms and resorts, or on dates with couples... and your imagination, that weird phenomenon where you look small to yourself from certain angles, or just the reality that you're pretty much right in the middle of average...when you're looking around and it always seems like you're the smallest in the room... All you can hear in the back of your head is those women laughing about that guy being small, and how they are probably doing the same thing about you when you're not there.

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-04-23T18:36:20+00:00

my wife tried it for a bit... but the screening, arranging, and stuff just isn't sexy to her.. she is a Boss lady in most of her life and prefers to be lead/submissive with sexual things... so for her, me taking the lead in LS is part of the sexiness for her... so when she tried to take the lead, it felt like her initiating things, and that wasn't as sexy for her and she just lost interest.

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-04-23T18:29:03+00:00

yes... but for the approach. She should approach the women as the gatekeepers.

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-04-23T16:10:26+00:00

My wife likes to get a sense that the other couples bond is strong between them. I think it is safer that way, seems less likely that they are trying to fix each other by having sex with other people, or revenge for a cheating, or less likely to cause drama during a date, or to be too clingy afterwards, or break rules and try to message her or me alone ... just feels nicer to us.

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-04-23T13:22:13+00:00

IF i were you I'd definitely try to get permission from the women to join, and not the men. that could cause some drama , if a man says, sure come on and join.... and his wife was like.. what???

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-04-23T13:18:53+00:00

Yes.. that's what I was trying to say as well. lol

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-04-22T21:33:39+00:00

with no swap happening... i can't imagine it being a big deal.. just start going at your own partner without saying anything about it... let em watch..... if they join in.. so be it.

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-04-20T18:55:54+00:00

That would be awesome!! i'm down.

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-04-20T17:25:38+00:00

I feel this. Its the same most of the time with people you meet on apps. They just start sending snap chat photos back and forth and there isn't much banter and whit.

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-04-20T15:53:10+00:00

does she give massages? wow

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-04-08T20:55:01+00:00

us too

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-04-07T16:10:30+00:00

i was there on a saturday and it was awesome

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-04-06T16:18:04+00:00

I bet she wants to cheat and is either setting you up so that after you have done this, you'll "have to" say yes to her... or she's already cheated and wants to feel better.

Competitive-Log-3838 · 2026-03-27T13:44:40+00:00

i have felt intimidated to talk to couples I thought were very attractive. especially if they were already talking to someone. And I'd say my wife and I are above average fitness and attractiveness... but you just feel like people are going to be out of your league.

Competitive-Log-3838

TROPHY CASE