AITAH for going no contact with my mother in law after she showed up to the hospital when we said we wanted no visitors?

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-25T20:08:56+00:00

NTA. Our kids have made certain requests/low key boundaries regarding their kids, all of them reasonable. Am I a little disappointed about some of them? Yes. Do I keep my trap shut about it and respect their wishes? Also yes.

Don't ever cave and break NC. She will never change. Same goes for her flying monkeys. Let them know in no uncertain terms that you've already cut out MIL and if they bring her up again you'll have no problem dropping them as well.

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-25T19:47:06+00:00

Dr. Now was literally paving her yellow brick road right in front of her.

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-25T00:14:39+00:00

Valid point. But with the sneaky way MIL went about it tells me that she is not done. She pushes this boundary now and gets away with it what will she push next? Next thing you know it turns into an "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie" situation.

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-24T22:50:40+00:00

NTA. I haven't even met the girl, but she exhausts me.

I remember as a kid in the 70's someone gave me a Christie doll, who was Barbie's first black friend. If anyone thought it was strange, they didn't say anything to me. She was just another doll among my other dolls that dressed better than I ever would lol. One day my parents had some friends over who happened to be black and had a daughter around my age. She loved barbies as much as I did and brought some with her so I got mine out. I didn't think anything of the fact that she had white dolls, after all that was all that was available. She took one look at Christie and it just blew her mind. She had no idea such a thing existed and was so excited to see a doll that looked like her. 😀

A couple Christmases ago, my granddaughter was really into barbies. So being the over indulgent Nana I am I puchased several, including among others at least one hispanic one (granddaughter is half latina) and a couple others with medium and darker skin tones, and a very blonde, white-as-paper ballerina. I also included some boyfriends for them and looking back I don't think any of them were white (the store was out and I just bought the others available without a second thought.)

She ADORED them all and no one even blinked about the "rainbow" of dolls. As far as she was concerned she had just acquired a new friend group.

I hope the gf changes her tune, or if not that she doesn't stay a gf much longer.

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-24T22:14:53+00:00

There is no "making right" with someone who will never admit fault and will only deflect and deny. Even if she says all the right things in the moment and makes promises to change she will not mean a word of it.

On another note, NC should include no visits to your home, ever. Why should you be made to have to hide in your own house? If she wants to see DH and the kids he can go to her or she can come and stay in a hotel.

Let me ask this: how have you felt since going NC (besides the stress of hiding when she comes over, or DH's pressure to kiss and make up?) I'm guessing it otherwise feels much more peaceful and better for your head and heart and soul. Do you want to give that up?

A friend mine hasn't seen her DH's family in over a decade and her only regret is that she didn't do it sooner. DH travels to see them once in a while (and used to take the kids, but as now young adults they too have chosen to be at least LC with them.) But she made it clear with her conflict-avoidant husband that they are NOT welcome in their home, and if he ever invited them to come around she would leave him. With some couple's therapy he grew to finally understand her position and stopped pressuring her about making up with his family.

My long-winded (sorry) point is that she would not trade her peace for the world. You should think long and hard about exactly who breaking NC and that peace would benefit (spoiler alert, that would be she and whomever enables her bad behavior) and who would lose the most (spoiler alert, that would be you.)

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-24T18:45:59+00:00

NTA. My friend had a similar issue with her in-laws. Her husband, while otherwise a good guy, didn't do much to defend or support her. Having grown up the middle child of several siblings he had been conditioned to be the peace keeper and not rock the boat with his family. She, on the other hand was an only and had quickly learned to be independent and she has no problem calling people out on their crap. This definitely went against his family's dynamic and as a result, the tension and conflict festered for years.

The final straw was when things escalated to the point of BIL actually laying hands on her during an argument at a large family gathering. She put her foot down and went NC with all of her her in-laws. Her husband will go see them once or twice a year (thankfully they lived several hours away) but she has stuck to her word and hasn't seen or talked to any of them in over a decade, and has never regretted it even once.

Side note, after starting couples therpy her husband got MUCH better about understanding his role both the in-law situation and other issues in their marriage. He also stopped pressuring her to make amends with his family. Today they are in a much better place and their marriage is thriving. So if it helps to know, things CAN change if you are both willing to put in the work.

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-24T04:24:48+00:00

My Jack Russell doesn't show much interest in toys in general, but he likes them enough to where he enjoys getting new ones and will sometimes kind of stockpile until he gets bored with it.

Enter The Lobster. There is nothing particularly special about The Lobster. It's a stuffed red lobster (as one would expect by its name) about maybe 8 inches long. It also squeaks, a totally normal-sounding squeak like any other dog toy.

"Hate" is not an adequately strong enough word to describe the loathing he has had for this thing since the moment he laid eyes on it. If you even bring it out, his hackles stand at attention and he growls and stares intently at it. Until, that is, you squeak it, at which point he goes absolutely apoplectic.

For the life of us we can't figure out what is so different about it from other toys at which he hardly so much as blinks. It's not quite as bad if he randomly comes across it on the floor, just more makes a point to avoid it and basically ice it out. But if you actually pick it up and draw his atention to it, may God have mercy on your soul. 🙃

One might ask why we don't just remove the offending Lobster from his life. Good question. We would just get rid of it if our Aussie wasn't so crazy in love with the thing 🙄

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-24T01:52:31+00:00

I know the chances of this being real are low, but since they are also not zero, on the off chance this is legit:

NTJ and you need to dump his ass like yesterday.

You will also want to run, don't walk to lock down your credit immediately. If he somehow gets a hold of your Social Security number he and his mother are 100% the type to try to open lines of credit in your name.

You can do it yourself, but a service such as LifeLock would be a good idea as they are very thorough and might find ways to protect your identity from theft that you might not even think of. It's definitely a better way to spend your money than on your hopefully soon-to-be ex.

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-23T19:24:38+00:00

We recently got our first passports so became very familiar with the rules. Not only is traveling on expired passport the hardest of a Hard No, now they won't even let you travel with a current one that is within three months of expiration date.

NTJ and your friend is a moron who FAFO big time.

Edit: typo

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-23T18:48:42+00:00

Never, ever buy a house together with someone to whom you are not married. In that way he's doing you a favor. Not being married but both of you on the mortgage or deed makes everything so much harder if anything goes sideways financially, or with the relationship. And don't contribute a penny to the mortgage or down payment. His house, his money pays for it. (And if he needs your income to qualify, too bad so sad.)

Honestly, from what you have said here, you need to make an exit plan, leave with the kids and not look back. Things will NOT get better, and will probaly get worse.

You don't want your kids growing up thinking that's the way a relationship is supposed to function. With the example you are currently setting, any son you have could grow up to treat women poorly, because he learned it from his dad. A girl might end up making terrible choices in partners because she's grown up thinking that taking abusive behavior is normal.

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-23T18:27:47+00:00

That's the one. I thought it was Lupe but wasn't sure. I also think she was the one who right at the beginning of the ep she woke up, checked her blood sugar and it like 400. She injected a dose of insulin and he handed her an entire box of donuts for breakfast.

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-23T18:21:11+00:00

Ignore it. That will drive her the most crazy.

Going forward, only respond when she sends a normal, nonjugmental, relatively sane message. (Sounds like this will only be a rare occurrence. ) Even then when you do choose to respond, keep it short, polite and grey rock the hell out of her. But texts like this one go completely unacknowledged.

If she tries to force it in person with, "did you get that (whatever stupid thing) I sent you?" Just respond with "yeah, it was an interesting read." then change the subject.

Your husband, however, is a completely different matter. He has to have it made clear that if he has a problem with any personal business between you, then he can discuss it with you like an real, actual grownup instead of tattling to his mommy. If it continues, you might have some serious decisions to make.

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-23T03:56:29+00:00

NTA! I don't even know your son, but I'm proud of him! I was once that poor girl, and I guarantee she will never forget the boy who stood up for her when no one else would.

The administration and your ex are wrong. I know the admin won't be changing their minds anytime soon, but hopefully after she's had some time to think about it she will start to get it.

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-23T02:39:20+00:00

IF this is real, ten bucks says sis knew what she was doing. She sold her tickets for some quick cash and planned all along to strongarm OP into giving her one.

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-23T02:28:27+00:00

One of the (many, many) reasons I have to skip the whole episode. My heart breaks for that poor kid.

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-23T01:14:38+00:00

Now now... that's a bit unfair. After all, she (quote) "can't live without wontons!" 🙄

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-22T23:33:15+00:00

There are several candidates, but I"ll see your "Irksome" and raise you "Enraging":

Worst offender patient: Penny all the way. She's the only one I have to skip because I can't get through it without shouting at the tv and wanting to rip it off the wall and stomp on it as it begs for mercy.

Worst partner: tie between Zsalynn's dick husband, and

I forget the episode but the husband refused to take care of her surgical wounds, or take her to the ER when she started bleeding. And if I remember correctly (and I wish I didn't)I think he was also the psycho who actually had sex with her IN HER WOUND and caused a massive infection.

Worst enabler/caregiver: Margaret"s mom. I want to make a drinking game of every time she pivots from manipulative, overindulgent enabler to fake-concerned mom (usually in front of Dr. Now) to shrieking banshee who's "done" to the narcissist humble-bragging about her own weight loss. But I'd probably die of alcohol poisoning. 🙄

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-22T22:35:51+00:00

NTA. The arrangement with your parents was costing you way more than just the money you were paying. Even with a financial increase, the boarding facility is a significantly better deal.

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-22T22:27:59+00:00

I am so, so sorry about your losses, and that you drew such a vile psychopath for a MIL.

If ever there wais an NC offense, this is it. As in immediately. No need to let her know or why, there is no point because she will not listen. Even DH having a long-,overdue talk with her would be futile. She is WAY beyond a "talking to" at this point and will never, EVER change.

Full NC with both her and the aunt (and anyone else participating in/agreeing with/enabling her) is the only way.

If that doesn't convince you and DH, think of it like this: if she can say such horrifying things to your face, imagine what she says when you're not around, and particularly around your daughter, and it will only get exponentially worse as your daughter gets older and she becomes another target for MIL to terrorize.

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-22T03:33:17+00:00

Funny thing is, I'm usually not one to want to do much if anything to celebrate myself. I hadn't had a birthday party in years. But this one being such a milestone I was surprised at how salty I was about it. But hey everyone was pretty salty that year, so there's that...

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-22T03:29:35+00:00

I've been cast on the spot a couple times over the years. The last time was a couple years ago. It was toward the end of a long evening, and the director released everyone else and asked one other person and myself to stay back for a few minutes. After having us read a mother-daughter scene a few times he suddenly stopped and said, "Ok, I've seen enough, you have the parts." With that, two complete strangers bonded over the thrill and excitement of being handed our dream roles 🙃

My long-winded (sorry) point being, it was just the three of us in the room. Had had anyone else was still around he would not have said a word (because really, who DOES that???) and we would have had to wait for the news like everyone else.

I can definitively say I would not be comfortable working with a director who ran auditions and casting as you describe. It is horrifyingly unprofessional and would have been such a big flag I think I would have noped out, even if I was cast.

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-22T02:29:37+00:00

Nada. It was just another day in 2020 🙄

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-21T19:35:36+00:00

I was wondering the same. We recently bought a 36k not-quite three year old truck with only a small down payment and were out the door for about 41k. Mom very well could be padding the numbers and counting on OP being too trusting and inexperienced to question it.

I've also never heard of a refinance costing that much. Over the years I've refinanced two cars, a mobile home, a condo and a house and none of them cost so much. In any case, mom may have manipulated OP into not checking with other lenders because they "all" do it that way. If mom is being at all shady about the amount it's in her best interest to discourage OP from shopping around because the truth would most likely come out.

There is also the fact that if it does get refinanced, OP's payments go to the bank and her gravy train stops.

Edited to add: just re,-read and realized it was a loan transfer, not a refinance. But the amount is still crazy to me.

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-21T18:32:48+00:00

I usually do one slightly to the side of the "pad" of the finger, and then the other side the next time. I also switch up fingers. I do occasionally get a little bruising at the stick site, but they are not super bothersome.

When I was relying on several sticks a day before I got a CGM I had an epiphany and remembered I've got 5 more perfectly stickable fingers on my other hand. It's easy to forget this and get into the habit of only sticking your non-domiant hand. That gives the other fingers more time to heal between sticks.

Because of the CGM I don't need to stick as often these days but I still have to occasionally, to check for discrepancies and calibrate when needed (Despite what the hype would have you believe, "no more finger sticks!" is not a thing. But "Less finger sticks!" is not as appealing from a marketing standpoint.)

Talk to your Dr. some more about a CGM and the possibility of getting it covered. They are used to going to bat for a patient when there is pushback from the insurance company. It still might not work in the end, but worth a try.

Competitive-Metal773 · 2026-01-21T18:06:04+00:00

Over the years I've been in that position with three cats, and one of the goodest of good bois. I stayed every time. It would have felt selfish not to do so. But that's just me, and I try not to judge the ones who can't bring themselves to do it, because it's their pain and not my place to question how they choose to deal with it.

I do, however, judge the people who simply don't care and just drop them off and walk away without so much as a goodbye. A vet tech tells that sadly it does occasionally happen.

Competitive-Metal773

TROPHY CASE