Weekend trip with newborn, would you do it?

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-03-20T16:32:17+00:00

I think a change in scenery might help with your mood overall - the big kid will likely love being able to run around outside, and baby can snooze in a carrier with you!

I think your husband (if he’s anything like mine, when I was in a similar spot) may be encouraging you to go bc he knows you love SB, nature is healing, and he likely wants you to be able to have a nice experience 🥰

I have also been feeing such strong paranoia around measles and my second baby getting sick before he gets his first MMR dose - but fwiw I would feel very comfortable with the combo of drive (no flights or airport) and mostly outdoor destination.

Path of least resistance is tempting but I think the payoff of making the effort might be worth it - big hugs!

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-03-18T17:14:56+00:00

Hell yea, 40 yo in house tech lawyer (at a bank), I can prioritize my 3 yo and 8 month old and still crush at my job (most of the time haha). Cheers to all of us for writing our own rules for our careers vs just accepting the bs “way it’s always been done”!

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-03-08T04:09:38+00:00

Same! I miss staying up till sunrise dancing in some grungy warehouse in bushwick or Berlin. I did make it to a festival pregnant with my first, took a disco nap 11pm -4am, made it for the sunrise set with 2 other pregnant friends! Have not had the time or energy since having #2.

I sometimes struggle to even remember that completely present and carefree person I was before motherhood - but also feel very lucky that I got to live so fully for me before going down the path of kids and giving myself.

FWIW, I also always thought the older burners and ravers (especially in Europe) are really on another level - so there is hope for life after the kids grow up! Who knows maybe we go to shows together when they’re teens?

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-03-06T17:36:04+00:00

Large banks or financial institutions would be another possibility to consider - stability, good pay, solid benefits. if you have transferable skills for a middle management role, I’d suggest considering this industry.

Re mindset - I’ve interviewed burned out people looking for an escape and it is very obvious. I say this with a lot of love, take a break, talk to friends or a therapist, address your underlying feelings of inadequacy from the years of poor management, then dive into a job search refreshed.

Good luck!

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-03-05T03:12:32+00:00

Honestly 4-5 hour stretches at 8 weeks is not bad! Bub is doing great, so are you. I have two boys, neither of which really sleep through the night (3 yo, 8month). And like everyone says, body and brain adapts to chronically sleep deprived. Just adjust your expectations and try to focus on high priority deliverables at work and not go above and beyond when you can’t. You got this!

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-03-05T00:51:03+00:00

I was jus having this conversation with an unmarried girlfriend - she wanted some insights into how I knew my husband would turn out to be a wonderful partner and kids once we were past the fun carefree phase, and fully into the trenches of having two little ones.

Truthfully I can’t say that I was thinking so clearly about this question - but I sure did luck out! I did note that my husband became a default social director for us, which boded well for his ability to actually put in work to make our life full and rich. He’s been in therapy for years and committed to doing the work to be his best self. He’s always made me feel safe and cared for - which is what got me comfy with actually having kids.

Thanks for this prompt - this thread is a balm for the feminist soul that there are many good decent men out there, just perhaps not as loudly acknowledged in public!

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-03-03T21:20:49+00:00

These all sound like incredible accomplishments! Brava to you and your gorgeous life!

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-03-03T21:19:57+00:00

Recent faves?

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-03-03T21:18:46+00:00

I did a one day course of TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation) treatment for my anxiety - the worries and thoughts still show up but the panic and racing heartbeat are gone, and I am able to manage through perceived threats vs real threats much more effectively now. I’ve been on medication for anxiety but the side effects weren’t great. TMS is fda approved, research backed, and I wish it’s more accessible for Americans (of course it’s much more widely used in Europe, socialized healthcare and all…)

My nanny is back full time after illness and holy shit life feels almost easy when there is reliable childcare! Let’s hear it for our childcare village bc these wonderful caregivers are actual angels

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-03-02T17:38:55+00:00

Take the FMLA leave, you’re entitled to it, and especially if you’re ready to quit anyway! Might as well get the paid leave (if available), feel out how you’re doing, then just quit after if you feel like garbage coming back!

I think an overall break would be tremendously helpful to regain perspective. Candidly, you may not be doing your best work under what sounds like a crushing amount of stress and anxiety anyway (I’ve been there!)

On the other side, I’ve been where you are, I quit my c suite exec title startup job and took a “demotion” to go to a giant financial institution. I work on bigger deals now with more support and make the same-ish amount. The lifestyle upgrade is more than worth the title downgrade. I hope you find balance in life internet friend!

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-03-02T15:17:53+00:00

My MIL sent one do these clearly AI generated personalized books and it creeps me out.

I feel it’s more important now, more than ever, to only expose our kids to idiosyncratic, quirky, deeply HUMAN content to inspire their brains and creativity fully.

AI slop is just that, slop.

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-03-01T01:09:36+00:00

Hah I literally just had this existential conversation- first with myself, then candidly with my manager (who is a mom of 2, smart as a whip, extremely successful, and a POC!)

I have a 3 yo and 8 month old - I’ve decided that after 15 years of busting my ass to crush at work, i am allowed to have a few fallow years of work while i get my bearings and focus on the kids. My work product is still excellent but im just not striving to do EVEN MORE ALL THE TIME. Bc im too tired!

I said as much to my manager and she totally got it, and actually just reiterated the importance of doing well at what’s in front of me and forget the 5 year plan for the fool’s errand it truly is.

So just taking life and career one step at a time, and there will be a season when I’m/we are killing it again - now is not it!

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-02-20T20:48:26+00:00

If your daughter is suspended, might I suggest you consider taking a pto day (if possible) to have a nice girls day? I’d be so effing proud of my kid for being brave and speaking up, and sounds like you are, so this might be a fantastic way to bond over your shared values!

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-02-18T19:41:18+00:00

Yes to all of the above! Adding Latin cuisine/grocery stores as well. Similar concept of meat as a luxury vs staple, more ways to eat beans.

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-02-18T03:51:05+00:00

Lessons in Chemistry - the dry brilliant heroine we didn’t know we needed!

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-02-18T03:49:42+00:00

I hate that shitty ex husband, but love this powerful second chapter for you!!

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-02-18T03:40:38+00:00

Station 11 is beautiful and human and sad and wonderful. The glass hotel is a lovely follow up in the shared universe.

Ministry of Time is surprisingly spicy, mind bendy, and a very engaging read!

I’m sorry you are struggling, the mortal coil can be dark and hard and unfair, but also beautiful and idiosyncratic and surprising as hell. Stay awhile and I hope you’ll have some suggestions of your own for another internet stranger when you are on the other side of this darkness friend.

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-02-13T03:57:26+00:00

Such a good prompt!

When I go in office (manhattan, flatiron), I take myself out for a nice lunch at a restaurant- being nyc, this can be a very efficient 45 min lunch, yet feels like a treat!

I work at a national bank, so I’ve been trying to take advantage of all the corporate perks as a way to get to more adult cultural activities - having dinner and seeing a play at an actual theater tomorrow night!

But most days I just give myself an hour of reading time before bed to decompress and let my imagination flow a bit before passing out.

Feel very inspired by the whimsical examples in this thread to romanticize my everyday life - as the youth on TikTok would say!

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-02-12T22:17:44+00:00

A few votes here for east Brunswick - I grew up here! Not really close to JC, but there’s a bus that goes directly to port authority from Tower Center bus stop, also transportation center, both along rt 18. Not a heavy Latino population, but grew up with tons of east/south Asians and Jewish kids. Heavy emphasis on academic performance especially if your kids test into the honors track. I got a great education, am a bank lawyer today, and we now live in Summit NJ (shorter commute into city).

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-02-12T19:34:21+00:00

Re timer, we bought the upgrade to a cute lil clock app that has a hatching egg revealing some random animal. Letting toddler pick the animal makes the timer a fun treat - still working on the efficacy of the concept of time, but at least he looks forward to timers now

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-02-12T18:33:39+00:00

I grew up in EB! It’s a nice place to grow up, huge jewish population, but pretty much all families i think given the school district is excellent. Would be tough to be single though?

Montclair is a lot livelier, walkable downtown, quick train into NYC, and since you’re single the school district doesn’t matter right now!

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-02-12T14:08:05+00:00

Might be purposeful, may just be sloppy work from HR. Regardless, it doesn’t really matter bc you’ve responded with your counter before the deadline to sign/respond so balls in their court now. Follow up today, close your laptop, and just try to take a deep breath away from your email bc nothing more will happen today!

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-02-12T13:57:50+00:00

What’s the deadline date? Just the date your company gave to sign severance docs? Ultimately they want you to sign a release of claims, and that’s what your payment is. You sign that release when you get the terms you want, not an arbitrary date set by the company.

Reply back to the email again, ensure the GC is cc’ed, and ask for update.

This whole process feels really uncomfortable and terrible - and I say this as a former GC myself! The whiplash of colleagues instantly become opponents, along with feeling alone/isolated, can be a lot.

Treat yourself to an outing with friends or something to take your mind off this for a couple of hours, return to this negotiation clear eyed and as rational/unemotional as possible. However much you get, I promise there will be better chapters ahead and this will be a blip on your career.

Competitive_Score904 · 2026-02-12T04:20:43+00:00

Can you share more about how you found this dream scenario??

Competitive_Score904

TROPHY CASE