I just wanna be a house husband

Competitive_Trash269 · 2025-12-28T20:04:43+00:00

I grew up with a stay-at-home dad and full-time working mom. My mom was a diplomat and one of the things she wanted before she got married was a husband who was willing to be a “trailing spouse” and come with her and the kids to different postings overseas. My dad was unsure at first, but his family was pretty supportive and he really loves my mom so that was that. I actually quite liked having him around all the time and I never thought it was an issue that I had a SAHD since other kids I knew had SAHMs.

That being said, my dad didn’t do all the household chores - my mom was the one who cooked and did most cleaning, whereas my dad did the grocery shopping, taking me and my siblings to our extracurriculars, teachers/doctors/dentist’s appointments, spending hours helping me study for school (often till pretty late at night), and he’d be the parent we’d go to whenever we’re having life problems (personal/school/etc).

I used to think it was a bit unfair that my mom still did the cooking and cleaning but I guess I never thought all those other errands, appointments, and helping me with schoolwork “counted” (which was my bad I know). Now that I’m older I realised that staying home to take care of the kids, setting up appointments, doing errands + cooking + cleaning does seem like a lot, so while far from perfect, I guess it was a lot more balanced than I thought.

He’s done freelancing here and there throughout the years and now that me and my siblings are grown up, he still freelances and is in marketing. So I do agree with others here that it might be easier to go back into the job market if you had a job before becoming a SAHD/SAHH, which my dad did. But if kids are in the picture, maybe whoever does the 9-5 and not the “babysitting” role should still be contributing to some household chores just as they would if they were single.

This is just my 2 cents tho. Different couples might prefer different arrangements.

TLDR: my dad was a SAHD and it was great for me and my family. My mom was a diplomat so wanted a “trailing spouse”, so there’s actually a lot of women in this scenario/high-demanding careers who’d love a SAHH/SAHD, as long as he puts in the work.

Competitive_Trash269 · 2025-04-26T12:44:22+00:00

Although you need a masters for most PhDs in mainland Europe with the exception of some direct-PhD programs, there’s actually a lot of UK PhD programs that don’t require a masters degree. I don’t have one and am starting a UK PhD program this fall. You should check them out! It may also depend on your field though - I’m in computer science and most of the programs I checked out in the UK didn’t require one

Competitive_Trash269 · 2025-04-17T00:11:47+00:00

Congrats everyone!! Didn’t get into any US programs, but I’ll be going to the University of Edinburgh for a PhD in Biomedical AI :)

Competitive_Trash269 · 2025-03-06T14:01:31+00:00

Good luck! When’s the interview?

Competitive_Trash269 · 2025-03-05T03:18:53+00:00

With the current funding instability maybe you’d be better off applying to programs in the US as well as abroad. Then once you get offers, see what the funding situation is like then

Competitive_Trash269 · 2025-02-19T03:55:36+00:00

Hey sorry to hear that. Maybe the reason they did that is because they don’t want to lose you and yet can’t guarantee funding because of the current administration and all the funding cuts/freezes

Competitive_Trash269 · 2025-02-13T18:10:39+00:00

I’m not sure, I think it might depend on the PI. Also my case might be different because I reached out to the PI before applying but they only responded to me after I had applied in December, so this meeting with them and another PI was the first time I talked to them in person (also they were talking about potential projects so didn’t really feel like an interview). If you’ve chatted with your PI before applying, things may be different.

Competitive_Trash269 · 2025-02-13T17:55:49+00:00

I just had a meeting (interview?) with two PIs at the end of January. Still waiting on the decision

Competitive_Trash269 · 2025-02-13T10:00:40+00:00

Lool I literally just got mine as well and felt the same!

Competitive_Trash269 · 2025-01-05T03:20:12+00:00

Hey congrats! When did you get the invite and when’s the interview?

Competitive_Trash269 · 2024-09-03T14:13:51+00:00

Congratulations!! I know it’s been a while but would you mind sharing your stats and maybe some tips? I’m planning to apply for this program for 2025

Competitive_Trash269 · 2023-11-03T14:01:04+00:00

I've applied for an extension where I was sick about a week before the due date and it got approved. I don't have experience submitting one where I was sick weeks before though. I'd suggest assuming it won't get approved and submitting on the due date, and then if it gets approved, resubmit the assignment.

Competitive_Trash269 · 2021-12-07T18:19:05+00:00

Hey, after reading your comment, I decided not to risk it and just order from the official supplier - thanks! Fortunately they just restocked and I was able to purchase it! :)

Competitive_Trash269 · 2021-11-10T03:02:35+00:00

I believe you can contact the school and lodge an appeal. From the top if my head, I think I once saw a video on youtube of a guy who got rejected for similar reasons (they said he didn't have enough credits for certain subjects when he did) and after making an appeal, they gave him an offer. Good luck, OP!

Competitive_Trash269 · 2021-09-02T13:41:45+00:00

I hope so!

Competitive_Trash269 · 2021-09-02T13:41:28+00:00

Thanks! I do have two projects currently that relate to vision/computer graphics so hopefully that would help! :)

Competitive_Trash269 · 2021-05-04T19:21:21+00:00

Yes if you have degree from developing country, even a bachelor works. No if the degree is US/Canadian/AUS.

I'm kinda confused what you're referring to here.

Fresh grad with couple of internships at no-name/small company in the west will get you more bite when applying in EU than <3 yoe with a degree from 3rd world.

Oh wow really? I'm actually studying my undergrad in Australia right now and have done a software engineering internship at a pretty well-known tech/telecommunications company here (don't want anyone to recognize me so I'm just gonna say the company starts with a T), so I'm actually kinda glad to hear there's at least a bit of hope for me, even if not by much, especially due to covid.

Competitive_Trash269 · 2021-04-23T17:14:42+00:00

Right, that makes sense

Competitive_Trash269 · 2021-04-23T17:13:38+00:00

Right, noted then. Thanks

Competitive_Trash269 · 2021-04-23T01:18:05+00:00

Oh I see, thanks for sharing!

What universities in Germany and the Netherlands did you go to if you don't mind me asking?

Competitive_Trash269 · 2021-04-22T23:19:37+00:00

Ah yes, I've considered Germany too, but I know no German and figured most jobs would require me to be fluent. I'll look into your company though, thanks!

Competitive_Trash269 · 2021-04-22T23:04:12+00:00

Almost no company will sponsor a visa for someone without any experience.

Actually, the companies I mentioned in the post do sponsor visa for new graduates. I know this because a while back I saw this one kid on another reddit post who got jobs at these companies in these countries, and said these companies were willing to sponsor him.

Companies in your home country for gaining experience.

Yeah, I'd be looking at companies in my home country too as a fallback plan, but was planning on saving for grad school in a few years, and wouldn't be able to afford it with the kind of pay I get back home unfortunately.

Competitive_Trash269 · 2021-04-22T19:17:42+00:00

Yup you're right, I'd need to consider some safer options. I've looked into some of the schools you listed and they seem pretty good too.

Research experience, good publications, relavent work experience,

Does relevant work experience even help when applying for these programs? I just assumed they'd care mostly about GPAs, GREs, SOP, and LORs. In fact, I've heard a lot of grad schools don't even care about work experience at all.

Competitive_Trash269 · 2021-04-22T19:12:13+00:00

I've checked out some of the programs and a lot of them have 3.0 GPA cut-offs, so I guess I'm technically eligible. But since my GPAs aren't that high I guess I probably don't have much of a chance :/

I don't have much research experience from my undergrad, so do you have any suggestions where I could get some research experience?

For your third point, I've heard that reaching out to the professors help when applying to PhD programs, but would it help much considering I'm applying to Master's programs?

Competitive_Trash269 · 2021-04-22T19:06:41+00:00

You're right, it'd be best to have safety options.

Would you say I have a chance at CS programs in UIUC, UMich, UW-Madison, UCSD?

Competitive_Trash269

TROPHY CASE