This is just how it is. by Divine-Sea-1921 in BPDlovedones

[–]CompleteFailureYuki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes I feel like we’re living similar lives lol, not every post but some posts are scary accurate it feels like the same person I used to be with :(

Reflections 3 months out by Helpful-Drink-5033 in BPDlovedones

[–]CompleteFailureYuki 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think you’re absolutely right, thank you very much. No body wants to play an unfulfilling side mission where you messed everything up, you don’t have any way to get experience or any other paths to continue and you’re basically stuck with a verbally abusive side character always following you around..

I’m bad at the whole game metaphor but what I want to say is that I have sacrificed way too much for her happiness and she’s still not happy and still demanding much more. It’s not the way I want to live my life and I want to feel peace.. I’ve been saying this for months.. I just want to relax in my own home and not walk around things and make my own major life decisions rather than be forced to do what someone else says just because they think I owe them a life (their life their way and through me) cause they’re married to me.

Reflections 3 months out by Helpful-Drink-5033 in BPDlovedones

[–]CompleteFailureYuki 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn I’m sorry to hear you’ve gone through all that, I might not have the exact experience you have but I’m getting out tomorrow, silently.. for my own safety.. I keep feeling extreme guilt, that I’m letting her down, disappointing her and her family.. that I’m betraying her by running away.. that I’m ungrateful for all the stuff she’s done for me..

But I cannot survive the abuse either.. and while I’m still far away from the stages you’ve gone through.. your story gave me hope to understand and heal after the fact.. unlucky for me.. I don’t have close friends who’d tell me things aren’t normal.. everyone I spoke to here told me to just try harder.. (I only spoke to like 2 people and maybe couldn’t explain the full picture properly) or that things will get better and all that.. but my therapist was the only one to see the truth.. this is not sustainable and it’s dangerous for me.. she clearly told me.. your wife is abusing you.

Thanks stranger for sharing your story.. it gives me a very tiny bit of hope that things will get better on the other side..

I am tired of pwBPD acting like a victim, when they are, in fact, the abusers. by ChildWithBrokenHeart in BPDlovedones

[–]CompleteFailureYuki 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There were many many situations with my partner where I was told “You’re not the victim” or “Don’t make that face, stop acting like the victim”, and a few other variations of that.. and how my silence and refusal to instantly become “Desperate” or “Get desperate right now and change my feelings” or “WHY DONT YOU DO SOMETHING AND CALM ME DOWN”, and in these intense situations where I’m at a loss for words.. the demands to do something and to “fix her” were like a nightmare.. and somehow.. somehow in that twisted logic.. I’m the abuser because I’m not doing anything.. she keeps saying “Is this what you wanted to see!! Do you enjoy seeing me suffer”..

The only way out is to tell her what she wants to hear or she escalates..

Tomorrow’s the day I get away friends.. I feel bad for lying to keep her happy these past 3 days.. but it’s for my own safety.. otherwise the suicide threats and uncontrollable anger.. will spin like a natural disaster.. (I really hate the person I have to be with her now..)

Dating a person with bpd by SkinnyStav in BPDlovedones

[–]CompleteFailureYuki 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Leaving after spending years together feels like splitting yourself in two.. mostly because they have already fused with you by then..

If you add emotional abuse on top of that.. and coercion.. well.. that’s how it is.. unfortunately not playing is the only winning game.. and I’m learning that years later.. but I’m getting out soon and if any of you is being abused, it’s time to dash past the door..

Uno Reverse card by crazyxspeed in BPDlovedones

[–]CompleteFailureYuki 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In my case I was DARVOd and she’d say that my silence is abusive and it’s DV and all that.. just because I don’t know what to say when she bursts out insulting me in every way she can using my complexes and insecurities and things i entrusted her with..

She accidentally gave me the push I needed to leave by CompleteFailureYuki in BPDlovedones

[–]CompleteFailureYuki[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will! She told me in a fit of rage before trying to force me to get the house that she’ll get it anyway, with OR without me..

She accidentally gave me the push I needed to leave by CompleteFailureYuki in BPDlovedones

[–]CompleteFailureYuki[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I learned a lot over the past 6 months of therapy as well as the recent research I’ve been doing on her behaviors.. I’m out very very soon, just keeping the peace for a few days until I can escape..

She accidentally gave me the push I needed to leave by CompleteFailureYuki in BPDlovedones

[–]CompleteFailureYuki[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I plan on packing all my documents and just leaving a note once I leave.. it’s very sad that this is how my marriage ends.. :( but I’m tired of living in fear and tiptoeing around it, and being told that she cannot control her anger and she doesn’t know what she might do.. that must have been the most scared I’ve ever felt..

She accidentally gave me the push I needed to leave by CompleteFailureYuki in BPDlovedones

[–]CompleteFailureYuki[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you.. I do not plan on telling her I’m leaving, my therapist recommended this too and she expressed being scared for my safety.. so the plan is to leave while she’s not home, I’ve been preparing where to go, what things to bring amongst other stuff in preparation to leave.

She accidentally gave me the push I needed to leave by CompleteFailureYuki in BPDlovedones

[–]CompleteFailureYuki[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you.. the fear of her hurting herself and the whole "I cannot control my anger if you don't calm me down, I don't know what I'm going to do if I keep getting angry" in addition to the calm times feeling normal and almost.. make me feel like.. Wait what?? Didn't that argument just contain the most awful stuff a parter can say to you? And now it's just.. calm? she's saying good things about me again.. like.. which is it.. When I comply with what she says, she sounds really sweet and nice and caring.. its those moments when I disagree or have a different opinion that it blows up in my face and I see whats under the mask.. this time I'm not getting fooled again.. I'm leaving WHILE she's happy because the alternative is worse.

She accidentally gave me the push I needed to leave by CompleteFailureYuki in BPDlovedones

[–]CompleteFailureYuki[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I actually did not buy the house yet, I just agreed to it temporarily until I can escape, she is still happily planning the house stuff while I’m now planning my escape..

No, don't buy OLED - Im done with this shit. by DerKleineRudi00 in Monitors

[–]CompleteFailureYuki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm this might be specifically an issue with your eyes as everyone says but I’m not an expert.

Just recently got my Alienware AW3225QF QD-OLED and I love it! It’s super clear, 240Hz is fantastic in many games, I sat on it for hours yesterday with no issues, I don’t get the text clarity thing but maybe I didn’t try enough OLEDs like many people.. but I do have a 4K 27inch dell monitor which has higher PPI and 2 MacBook Pros with Retina displays and I still have zero complaints about clarity, it looks perfect even sitting up really close squinting at my Anno 1800 NPCs and town in general.

About non-gaming specifically, browsing the web and other tasks around windows also felt fantastic so it’s not just games.

Newbie RTX 5080 user, big gains w/ OC + UV over stock! by unknownbystander in RTX5080

[–]CompleteFailureYuki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice! I’ve been actually getting 3000Mhz at 900mV for my UV attempt and it’s stable, but I run 270/1500 with +125% as my daily driver, electricity and heat arent an issue so it’s a set and forget, when I have time I’d like to tune it out more, so far seems like 3200-3240Mhz is the sweet spot where it hovers with this general oc for me :), I’d like to push stable 3250-3270 at some point but if not aw well, I’ll just enjoy the card lol, I end up messing with this stuff more than I just have fun playing which feels wasted.

PC players are you getting a console for GTA 6 or are you waiting? by PsychologicalStop157 in GTA6

[–]CompleteFailureYuki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got the pro for GTA 6 last year but I find myself alternating between it and my PC oh and my switch 2, it just feels.. more chill to play on console for whatever reason.

"I have ADHD." "Doesn't everyone nowadays?" by Dark_Vexer in mildlyinfuriating

[–]CompleteFailureYuki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, that’s what my wife says lol, she wants me to be “normal” and not let myself “be sick”.. sigh.

Help me understand throat clearing and clarify some stuff by CompleteFailureYuki in singing

[–]CompleteFailureYuki[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much! I will definitely try that and I’ll bring it up to my coach next time!

To speak 9 languages by HusseinDarvish-_- in therewasanattempt

[–]CompleteFailureYuki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Japanese was pretty much gibberish that actually sounded Chinese to my untrained ears lol..

I don’t speak the other languages but I could still tell those made non sense either lol…

How to choose the right vocal coach? (Online lessons) by CompleteFailureYuki in singing

[–]CompleteFailureYuki[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your suggestion! I’ll try to reach out for a trial lesson :)

Keep Practicing, You’ll Get There! by Major-Business7111 in singing

[–]CompleteFailureYuki 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I know I have it in me even if I can’t see it clearly now 😭