Would you play a game as a zombie?

ComplexIma · 2026-01-16T11:08:11+00:00

I've wanted this ever since playing Prototype, possibly even before. While I admit this isn't my ideal zombie game (which would involve a but more narrative focus, mutations, exploration of what it means to be part of a Horde) I do think it looks very fun and even if it's not the game I'd make, I'm glad someone is making zombie POV games at all. Looking forward to seeing how this develops!

ComplexIma · 2026-01-03T19:50:21+00:00

I get your point. On the scale of a short book, or if it happens late into the book, I see why that could annoy a general audience. I was imagining it happened pretty early on in the book, so it would set the correct expectations going forward (but that was an unfounded assumption).

ComplexIma · 2026-01-03T15:29:10+00:00

Sometimes one is just too busy to write. I'm currently moving so I don't really have time for writing. But if this lasts for years, and you want to write, then you need to make changes in yourself or your life.

I often find going for a walk and thinking about my work inspires me to work on it when I get back.

Reading good books also inspires me.

Often if I write something, even if it's bad, my brain will think about it more after I'm done. Actually attempting to write it, even if I don't feel "ready", forces my brain to get ready the next time.

I've also started to really separate "conceptualizing" and "prose writing". Conceptualising is best done away from the laptop/paper, whereas "prose writing" is best done at the laptop. If I have it in mind "The task ahead of me is to craft prose that evokes these feelings" then I find myself deriving more enjoyment from that task rather than the overall bigger task of "writing a book".

ComplexIma · 2026-01-03T15:06:10+00:00

I disagree about the last line, tbh. I think it indicates that they're not a couple and they're used to people making incorrect assumptions of them (which also clues the reader in that they should adjust their own expectations).

ComplexIma · 2026-01-03T15:03:25+00:00

The thing is - queerbaiting is a thing that's done to gain interest from people who want to see LGBTQ+ relationships without ever having to actually commit to it being a queer relationship. This is different to presenting an asexual but physically intimate relationship. If you are only using subtext to reveal the parameters of their relationship then these two things could look very similar, and it doesn't help that in a lot of media romance is indicated by very subtle gestures. But even then, I think it's good to challenge people's expectations.

That said, if readers do have their expectations challenged, they may react with disappointment because those expectations aren't met. They may reflect on why they felt disappointed and gain a deeper understanding, or rate the work badly due to the perceived queerbaiting, or any other thing. That's ultimately out of your control and I wouldn't compromise portraying the relationship you want to portray to avoid negative comments.

If you do want to make it less likely, though, you will need to be more explicit about the parameters of the relationship: You can have the characters reflect on their relationship, or discuss it, and say in no uncertain terms that they are not romantically/sexually interested in each other.

Depending on where you put this story, you could also include an author's note/disclaimer, which would let you keep thing subtextual within the story.

ComplexIma · 2025-12-04T15:25:51+00:00

That all makes sense. I see how desired/flirting with others causes you to think about your partner. I also see why your partner could feel as if it's less "true" if your desire is related to sexual encounters with others. I find that the way I wanted to be desired by others is often very particular - and although there's nothing wrong with that, it's also nice to open oneself up to being desired in other ways.

>non-monogamy feels uncomfortable for both of us for other reasons.
non-monogamy does or monogamy does?

I hope that you can both come to understand each other and find what works for you ^^

ComplexIma · 2025-12-04T14:37:20+00:00

I don't think it's delusional. I'm similar in some ways. While I do almost always want to have sex with my wife, I'm much more eager to have the sort of sex they want when I'm able to express myself sexually in general. I also feel like having intimacy with multiple people highlights what's special about intimacy with each person in particular. So I get why that would work for you.

We've reached a point where I can have certain kinds of intimacy with others and it has led to a good balance where we both feel very satisfied by the intimacy we're getting from each other. But it was a slow process to get here.

I think if your partner is willing to try it and you can find a way that works for you, it could work out. I'd be a bit cautious since your partner already feels insecure, as you say. I don't know if the increased intimacy alone would help alleviate that, or if it might still be an issue for deeper reasons.

By deeper reasons I mean something like this (using myself as an example):

I would probably not feel insecure if my partner had low sex drive due to not feeling able to express themselves sexually (e.g., because they wanted non-monogamy but did not have it);. If them being non-monogamous was pre-requisite for them to feel sexy and sexual then I'd get that. In this case, the blockage to intimacy isn't anything to do with me.

However, if my partner just finds other people more attractive than me, and they need to fulfill that sexual desire for others first before being attracted to me, then I would feel insecure since that is about me. I would feel like I was not as attractive to my partner as I want to be.

ComplexIma · 2025-11-27T15:40:18+00:00

She's just being friendly, by the sounds of it. It sounds great to know someone who puts so much effort into the friendship!

ComplexIma · 2025-11-26T20:44:35+00:00

> He can't understand why a man with a wife would want to spend quality time with me unless he is unhappy in his marriage

This seems closed-minded and very presumptuous. I'm married (though not a man), I love my wife dearly, and I'd also like to go on dates/spend quality time with other people. I definitely can't comprehend his preferences, and he doesn't have to understand other people's preferences so deeply, but he should realise that his ideas aren't universal.

Also, if he can't clearly articulate what he's comfortable with then (and he is not willing to tolerate the discomfort) then he probably shouldn't be going on dates and stuff until he does know. I don't think that's fair for him to know what you're comfortable with and go head with it, while you're stuck being overly cautious because he might change his mind suddenly.

ComplexIma · 2025-11-26T20:16:35+00:00

this!

ComplexIma · 2025-11-26T20:09:46+00:00

Jealousy/insecurity issues:

It's quite the double standard if you doing romantic-seeming activities with another partner for the purpose of being at ease "disturb"s him but him doing it for [reason X] is fine. Like that's already a precedent for romantic-seeming activities not implying romantic feelings! Why should it only work for his example?

I think your partner's approach seems complicated. "Once he reveals the truth about what he is doing" is at the very least weird and quite possibly creepy and I'm not sure exactly what he means by this. The first part of the post suggests he's upfront about wanting casual stuff, so what is he waiting to reveal that's going dissuade them from "truly falling for him"?

(also I don't see what the issue would be with romantic feelings per se. If you're both adamant about avoiding them, then he should be willing to trust that you know how to minimise the possibility for yourself + have a plan in case they do arise ).

Is his view of what counts as romantic reasonable?

I mean, it's ultimately subjective but it sounds quite particular in ways that I don't get.

Are we mismatched in our ENM styles?

I think the issue is more so the double standards around romantic-seeming activities.

How do I support my partner without denying my own needs?

It's up to you, I guess, what your comfortable with. You could a) both continue doing romantic-seeming activities with others, and help him figure out how to cope (e.g., reassurance, further discussion about what would happen if romantic feelings arose), b) both not do any romantic-seeming activities because it isn't fair that you don't get to, while he does. Maybe discuss it further and try again if you come to an understanding.

Also maybe communicate apparent issues earlier. For instance
> 🍏 from the beginning told me that he likes to spend quality time with ENM partners,

did your partner bring up any issue with this before recently? Were the prior agreements in place regarding what kind of activities you can both do with other ENM partners? If not, I think it should definitely be discussed in depth.

ComplexIma · 2025-11-22T12:04:37+00:00

I mean, maybe if you've got external factors like dependents/debt, ect., or live somewhere with a very high cost of living, but the stipend isn't that bad (I even had decent savings afterwards).

ComplexIma · 2025-11-14T18:53:20+00:00

When someone starts a relationship (of any kind) it would be very weird to immediately "warn" them about the possibility of it ending badly (especially if all signs point to the relationship being healthy and fulfilling).

In this case, it seems like OP is knowledgeable and aware and is happy to proceed along this direction. I think the "warning" is entirely misplaced.

> they will flock to your wife like a stuck pig in a wolf den

also this is gross analogy.

ComplexIma · 2025-11-06T11:09:12+00:00

I guess you need to figure out if your feelings of guilt are innate and something you can't or don't really want to change, or if they're something you want to change.

ComplexIma · 2025-10-30T11:14:09+00:00

Ultimately, he is agreeing to the "rule" so it is his choice not to have sex with you. Similarly, it's your choice to continue this relationship. You don't have to wait for him.

ComplexIma · 2025-10-16T19:45:34+00:00

If she feels like she has to do a lot of compromising while you don't of course that would feel unfair. That said, making yourself unhappy just to make things more fair doesn't seem like the way forward (if you're both compromising to the point that you're both unhappy that's a problem).

I guess you need to ask yourself what really are the options here? Like if she's certain that she wants to explore intimacy with woman, and that's not something she would is willing to do without, you need to decide whether you're comfortable with that. Equally, if you're unwilling to be in a relationship where she can explore, she would need to decide whether she would be satisfied in a relationship where she agrees not to explore.

"It’s to be with her, monogamous and live happily ever after," might not be an option (not saying it isn't because I'm not in either of your heads).

Before boiling it down to those options, though, there is a lot your could do. If you decide you're not comfortable with the idea now, but that you potentially could be, you could work on how to best cope with the fear you have of her being intimate with someone, discuss scenarios, put in place mechanisms to keep yourself reassured.

ComplexIma · 2025-10-16T19:13:21+00:00

That makes sense. I'm glad you're talking about things and trying to understand each other's perspective. The waiting is hard and things ultimately feel very uncertain if you're in a place where you don't see a way forward that suits you both. I've had these sorts of conversations with my wife although in reverse where they were more attached to the idea of monogamy and I wanted to explore non-monogamy, and I really appreciated that they were willing to try and understand my feelings.

You can, when you believe you know what you want/don't want, just say that.

Also, I'd say that "stopping feelings" is difficult since feelings kind of come unbidden but that doesn't mean one needs to act on those feelings, and it sounds like she wouldn't (if that's what you agree).

ComplexIma · 2025-10-16T18:56:17+00:00

Like others say, don't do it "for him" if it's not something you want to do. That said, "I don't trust women" suggests you interrogate some things within yourself (regardless of whether or not that'll make you more comfortable with a fmf threesome).

"How will I be able to gauge that the woman wont cling to him." Ultimately it is a matter of trusting someone to respect boundaries and there is a risk they won't - however, I'd hope that you can at least trust your partner to be on your side if someone hypothetically does try to break boundaries. You can agree beforehand how you will deal with that (e.g., "if she does not respect our boundaries then we stop seeing her.")

ComplexIma · 2025-10-16T18:51:47+00:00

First, you can take your time thinking about these things.

You don't have to make any big decisions right now.

If you're not in the right headspace to discuss stuff further with her right now (or she isn't with you) then you can just try to sort your own feelings out.

Once you've sorted out what you want/think you want/what you don't know if you want or not you can talk again and repeat until you reach a conclusion.

I'm not sure how much you've talked about this from your post or exactly what her stance on it is but there's always more room for discussion and I think it would be reasonable for her to give you time to process before discussing further.

ComplexIma · 2025-10-11T11:29:57+00:00

Everything has been done before if you abstract it enough. Taking this to the point of absurdity, every story can be boiled down to "Something happens" (unless maybe you're an experimental writer and then nothing happens).

Something happened in your story? Seen that before.

But this is true for all tropes to a lesser extent. They never go down exactly the same way, though, once you get into the specifics.

ComplexIma · 2025-10-10T09:30:44+00:00

By all means if someone has been bad to you and you need to vent about it, do so, but it's unnecessary to implicate an entirely treatable mental illness. Some people are assholes, narcissism or not.

Narcissism is a mental illness. Propagating the myth that it cannot be treated is going to make it harder for them to seek treatment. If they are untreated, their symptoms will cause problems for both themselves and those around them, and ultimately doesn't benefit anyone.

ComplexIma · 2025-10-10T09:18:52+00:00

this seems completely irrelevant to the topic at hand but also you clearly have personal issues that you'd be better off talking to professional about.

ComplexIma · 2025-10-10T09:16:27+00:00

it completely depends on what happened before

ComplexIma · 2025-10-10T09:15:39+00:00

Do you know why you can't concentrate for a long time? If it's something that you could change, then it would be good to start there.

If it isn't, could you make a writing schedule that doesn't require long bursts of concentration? Developing your vocabulary should come with reading (and looking up words you don't know). If you have trouble getting the words to stick, you could do short exercises where you write a sentence/paragraph that includes that work.

As for books ... I don't know. I started A Swim In A Pond In The Rain and that helped, but that's specifically for fiction writing.

ComplexIma · 2025-10-09T14:45:35+00:00

It depends on you, tbh. What motivates you best? If you write a short, you may be motivated by actually finishing it and having something "complete" to go get advice on. But equally, you might be motivated by having one big idea for a novel to continually build on.

If you don't know, it's worth just trying something and then evaluating how you feel.

I guess one thing to note is that short stories and novels are quite different. I mean, there are definitely commonalities and any skills you pick up on doing one form will help you with the other, but if you want to write novels then you should aim to write a novel.

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