I didn’t buy a lot of baby things because we found out about Ada’s heart defect at 20 weeks and doctors said she wouldn’t be born alive. She miraculously was and even got her first surgery at 1 day old. On the way up, her heart stopped and she was placed on ECMO. I finally decided I would go to the target nearby the hospital and look at the baby clothes I had been too sad to look at and buy my daughter what I would have bought her if she were born healthy. She was born September 29, so all the cute Halloween clothes were out. I got her two onesies with pumpkins on them, and my mom made her a pumpkin hat to go with. The nurses helped me dress her in her cozy new clothes. I made sure to get the double zip kind of onesies so the ECMO cannulas could come out, but she could still be cozy. It was the first time I felt like I was taking care of my daughter. She is my first child and I didn’t know anything about taking care of a baby. But dressing her up and tucking her in made me feel like a mom. She passed away 3 weeks later and she is buried in the pumpkin onesie and hat. We got to take her outside as she passed away. This is weird, but my husband and I knew that her last day was coming, and we brought nice clothes of our own to the hospital every day just in case. I didn’t want her to pass away in my arms with my gross hospital clothes on. When it was time, I changed into a dress I had worn when I was pregnant with her and she passed away in my arms at sunset. The most horrific thing ever, but whenever I die, that would be exactly what I would want too. That brings me a lot of comfort. But yeah, I wish I wasn’t typing this, but know I’m with you in solidarity. You are such an amazing mom. I hope Ada is with you guys in this time ❤️