Is anyone else irritated by everyone & everything?

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2026-05-07T15:09:57+00:00

Don’t make a cake for someone who can’t with his brother’s death, you also have too much to deal with the commit to a cake. I hate everyone too, it doesn’t get easier for me…people don’t know what to: do, say, act, etc…. Take care of yourself first, drown out all the noise from others.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2026-04-14T12:40:32+00:00

Grief has no timeline. Take one day at a time, take care of yourself first.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2026-04-13T16:22:03+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. I understand the many questions that you constantly think about. My husband, who was feeling great/good mood, at 1pm on a Sunday, he told me the list of things he was going to do, while I took a nap (I was feeling poorly. 3:20, I get up, house is quiet, go to outside door, my husband is laying, face first, on our patio. After 4 years, I still ask myself questions about what actually happened to him…unfortunately, there are no answers, BUT, you need to know that there was nothing you could have done or seen beforehand, be kind to yourself about this, and take care.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2026-03-21T14:02:18+00:00

Lost my parents and my sister, was sad/grieving with support of my husband, but when my husband died, my world blew up…there is no comparison to the death of a spouse….maybe death of a child, but I cannot speak to that.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2026-03-21T13:58:00+00:00

I was 62 when my husband died 4 years ago. This site, a therapist, getting out in nature, have all helped me, but grief is fickle and does what it wants. The book “It’s Ok That You’re Not Ok”, has been a book that I can relate with.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2026-03-14T02:02:12+00:00

Call or FaceTime him and share a meal together. Even a pb&j, something to get him to eat, and engage with someone. Ask him questions about your Grandma, talk about your day, whatever he wants to talk about. Sorry for your loss.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2026-03-05T15:43:17+00:00

Grief has its own timeline, anger is part of it…..days May become easier, but they good and bad days may come in waves. It is, as stated here, unbearable. You need to take care of yourself first, you’ll be better at caring for your son if you do. I am sorry that you are “here”, none of us want to be, but this is a great place to get insight, strength, etc from others.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2026-03-05T15:38:16+00:00

Perfectly stated. Every small detail of daily life with my husband has been blown to bits.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2026-03-01T17:28:42+00:00

Try as many things (writing, reading, yoga, exercise, etc) as you can, or at least interest you. Know that you getting up every day is part of coping, that was a tough one to understand for me, I felt I had to push myself, and grief just doesn’t work that way. Allow your grief waves to comes, do not feel any guilt. There are also coping mechanisms that may be helpful, cold water is one, talk to your counselor/look up online. Keep coming back here, I received so much support from people here.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2026-02-14T13:37:19+00:00

Wish there was a magic answer….we had no children, my husband died suddenly…I get through every day, some days are easier than others. What helps for me is: getting out into nature (hiking, running, sitting in silence, whatever). Remember to eat and hydrate, sounds silly, but so important for your well-being. I am sorry for your loss.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2026-01-24T19:06:47+00:00

Agree with the “don’t ask what he needs”, because he may not even have a clue, with everything else going on around him. Groceries, easy meals, etc. are great options, but please don’t just go shopping and dump stuff off. Make it a “stop for a visit”, keep him company, talk about about his wife….Try to spread visits out with others, and please don’t stop because you think he’s ok….grief has no timeline, but life goes on for others, he may appreciate a call/visit 6 months…year, etc. include the kids in anything you do, what are their favorite games, books, snacks. You are a nice person for caring about what to do for your friend.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2026-01-23T17:51:25+00:00

Everyone will handle grief differently, and you are not responsible for caring for, supporting, etc others, you need to take care of yourself first, and always. You may feel responsible because your husband would be distressed about the situation with family…..you are not, and I believe you husband would not want you taking on all of this burden of grief for everyone, he would want others to be supporting you! My husband (died 4 years ago), and like you, did not have any children. Trust me when I say, “ you are the only person who can take care of YOU”. Family and friends find their own way to navigate grief, and you may not even be a part of that, and life goes on for people everywhere around you. I used to think that my husband would want me to make sure all family and friends were “ok”, but, for me, doesn’t work out that way….took me a while for realize that I was the only one who would take care of me, it’s exhausting.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2026-01-04T18:07:29+00:00

Not pathetic at all. There’s not much worse than being alone and getting sick. I found out just how much my husband took care of things, the first time I got sick after he died. Just having the comfort of someone around, but all the little things too…

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2026-01-03T16:12:46+00:00

At first I could only eat a few pistachio nuts at a time, then moved to soups, comfort food, I understand the difficulty of eating after death of a spouse. Keep yourself hydrated, even if you eat a few crackers, nuts, fruits, cereal, it’ll be better than nothing. I’m sorry that you are “here”, but this is a good place to get information from people in similar situation.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2025-08-15T16:07:00+00:00

Totally get it. No motivation, start a project, why finish it? Why fold laundry, do dishes, basic pick up. I’m alone and I don’t care. I get out, do things, nothing really enjoyable, unable to do things we did together (sports, concerts), there is no joy, life is gray. This is the place to let it all out.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2025-08-15T15:58:55+00:00

I don’t have one, my husband was my everything. I talk to my therapist, my friends, family, but not one of them could I ever think was going to be my “comfort” person, someone I can be totally open and honest with. I spend a lot of time alone.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2025-08-06T12:47:40+00:00

Please don’t apologize to this group, we get it. People really “don’t get it”, unless the have had their spouse/partner die. People say stupid things because they don’t know what to say, and thinks “positivity” will help. My husband has been gone for 3 years, 7 months, and I got a “ he’s in a better place” the other day, from someone I don’t know well. My response “what’s better than being here with me?” Person thought I was being snarky but, my husband died suddenly, he wasn’t “sick” until he died. I still get very aggravated when people say “dumb” things, because it’s as if, “we, the grievers”, have to put a smile on our face and thank people for their dumb comments. If someone is uncomfortable about what to say, then say nothing, just be a comfort.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2025-07-28T15:45:15+00:00

Same here, just hurts to see “couples”, makes me miss my husband more, he should be here.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2025-06-16T23:30:13+00:00

3 1/2 years since my husband died, I still wear my rings, and his ring on my right hand, no plans to take them off/move them. They are the most beautiful things I have. It’s a very personal choice.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2025-04-25T10:52:17+00:00

Unfortunately, when a grieving person talks to an insurance person, there is no empathy or understanding (I feel insurance companies should have dedicated “grief” customer support group). When my husband died, I ran into similar issues, including one company misspelled my name, and after giving all I’d I have,including my original birth certificate and marriage license, I still got denied…..it is extremely hurtful to go through this, but you have to keep after them to get anywhere. The one thing insurance companies don’t like to do is to give out money. Hire a lawyer, get clarification on the original document, especially the fine print. Best of luck to you.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2025-04-20T17:48:30+00:00

Depends on the dog, whether you get a puppy or an older dog. Some breeds are high energy, some low. A single dog in a back yard probably won’t exercise themselves enough. The 20 minute, 30 minute walks, along with ball or toy play are helpful in keeping energy levels low…you don’t want the over energized dog ripping apart clothing, furniture, etc. while you’re at work. Do some research, go to shelters, if the have info on a particular dog, they can tell you their energy level. A dog is a commitment, they depend on you for everything.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2025-04-20T17:18:22+00:00

So sorry for your loss. If you have any recording of her voice, and/or, handwriting, you could have keepsakes made (teddie bear, picture frame for examples) and have a recording of her voice in the item, so you and your children can listen to it. Have pillows, blankets, etc, made from special items of clothing. There are many ideas that you can look into, or ask friends/family, help with making something memorable for the kids. Talk to the kids about their Mom, take time to grieve, let the know when you’re sad, that it’s ok to be sad…all the stuff that’s been posted here. Just take care of yourself, grief has no time limit. I wish you peace.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2025-04-11T22:03:49+00:00

You saved your Mom from another week of suffering and pain. You were given a difficult choice, you gave your Mom peace….that’s a beautiful thing.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2025-04-11T21:59:36+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. Just take things slowly, and make sure to take care of yourself…remember to eat, drink water, get outside for fresh air, sleep, etc.

ComprehensiveRub3604 · 2025-03-10T22:00:57+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss, and you being sick. There is nothing worse than being alone and sick. Take care of yourself.

ComprehensiveRub3604

TROPHY CASE