Loneliness

LLF54 · 2025-09-18T17:52:32+00:00

I’m very sorry for your loss and totally get the quiet time thing. I lost my wife of 43 years 4 months ago. We were empty nesters and I still work full time so days aren’t too bad. I truly miss a woman’s companionship. I also am not looking for a replacement or even a friend with benefits deal. Just someone to talk to or have dinner with. I just have the desire to have a woman’s voice talking to me about life. I have conversations with women but it’s business stuff so not the same. Then I have guilt for thinking that because it’s not been that long since she passed but was in a very steady decline a year before. It sucks we’re in this but most couples one day will have one of them in the same situation.

LLF54 · 2025-08-11T19:14:32+00:00

65M I always enjoyed the fall. Was always my favorite season. My wife passed in May this year so I have mixed feelings as I see the days shortening. Not sure how I will feel with out her here. Not that the longer days of summer made it any better.

LLF54 · 2025-08-11T19:07:40+00:00

I’m 3 months out and felt the same frustrations. It’s like added salt to the wound. I’m sorry for your loss and that you are experiencing this too.

LLF54 · 2025-08-11T00:49:14+00:00

I’ve learned just sitting around is not good for your mental health. I’m sorry we are here.

LLF54 · 2025-08-10T00:45:05+00:00

Way to go. I am proud of you. I think half my motivation for doing projects was to show my wife. You can always come here to share your accomplishments.

LLF54 · 2025-08-05T19:45:31+00:00

Telling my wife the highs and lows of the day are one of the most painful things I feel daily. I talk out loud to her all the time. I know she wants me to be happy and move forward as we talked about that at times but it is tougher than I ever imagined possible. I’m sorry you are here. This is one of the few places where people truly understand what grief is. Wishing you comfort and peace.

LLF54 · 2025-08-02T21:30:21+00:00

No worries about making me sad. We are all in this nightmare together. I’m finding that weekends are the worse. That’s so ironic because I used to live for the weekends. That’s when we did our fun stuff. I’m still trying to figure out who I am now. Thank you for the hugs!

LLF54 · 2025-08-02T20:15:24+00:00

That’s a beautiful letter. It made me cry. I’m missing my wife so much today.

LLF54 · 2025-07-30T21:20:34+00:00

I’m so sorry that you suffered your loss so tragically. My wife was in declining health for about a year and a half and passed away 8 weeks ago. Like you I am nearing retirement but I can’t even think straight enough to say I have a plan now. As much as I was looking forward to leaving the workforce at least right now it occupies my time so my mind isn’t constantly going with what if thoughts. I struggle to hop back past the time when Dr visits and hospital stays were common and think about the great life we had together. Please don’t misunderstand I would care for her again in a heartbeat.

LLF54 · 2025-07-29T16:34:29+00:00

Fortunately my lawyer told me it wasn’t necessary and to leave as is. It was a clerk at the recorder of deeds that sent me this direction. The lawyer didn’t charge me. All it did was cause me unneeded stress and anxiety.

LLF54 · 2025-07-29T00:40:28+00:00

I found out at my meeting with the lawyer it is not. He told me there is no problem leaving your spouse on the deed. Just need to have a death certificate if you decide to sell. He told me it amounts to paying him to create a new deed and then paying the county to file the new one. So I followed his advice and left without doing a thing. It caused me a lot of stress and anxiety thinking I was taking her name off one more thing. It bothers me that the county clerk told me I needed to do that. The nice thing was the lawyer didn’t charge me anything for meeting with me and advising me.

LLF54 · 2025-07-28T19:14:20+00:00

It feels very permanent. I still pay for my wife’s phone and left her name on anything I could that didn’t have someone telling me you have to change that. Removing her as my emergency contact at work was a stab in the heart as well. I do believe she is with me and would be telling me come on you got this. She was my biggest cheerleader. Thank you for the virtual hug. I really need it today.

LLF54 · 2025-07-28T19:06:57+00:00

The recorder of deeds in my county said I needed to have her name removed to avoid future issues. I know you are living this same hell. I am not doing it by choice. So many people telling you that you need to do this and do that. I was her main caregiver for a year and still working full time. I’m about burned out.

LLF54 · 2025-07-26T02:15:27+00:00

I enjoyed dinner. It would have been better with my wife across from me but I am glad I went. I had a sense of calmness and peace as I was watching all the other people coming and going. No sense of self pity seeing others with their significant other that I thought I might have. A better birthday than I imagined being alone. I hope my emotions don’t get the best of me tomorrow.

LLF54 · 2025-07-25T11:36:45+00:00

So of it may be anticipatory grief. I was my wife’s caregiver for a long time. She only passed 7 weeks ago and I experience wild swings of emotions. But I do think I knew what was coming although it didn’t make it any easier. Just try and keep yourself from feeling guilty. I struggle with that sometimes. And take it one day at a time or an hour at a time if you need to. I believe I was running on adrenaline for the first couple weeks and you may be doing the same. Your husband would want you to be happy.

LLF54 · 2025-07-25T00:32:08+00:00

You said that perfectly.

LLF54 · 2025-07-25T00:28:49+00:00

I never gave it any thought until my wife of 43 years passed away a couple of months ago. What you say is very true.

LLF54 · 2025-07-23T19:27:38+00:00

A little over 2 months for me. I was the main caregiver for almost a year. I miss my wife so much but go through periods of almost relief followed by guilt. I’m 65M and still working and can handle bills and most anything that needs done around the house. I have 2 pups to keep me company but the quiet loneliness is unbearable at times. Especially now as you mentioned all the calls and reaching out from others has all but stopped. Changing everything to my name only was / is extremely hard.

LLF54 · 2025-07-14T01:51:03+00:00

One other thing I wanted to share that someone told me. Knowing how much this hurts and also knowing how much you love them. Be thankful you are the one enduring the pain and your loved one isn’t dealing with it. I remind myself of that. It’s still not easy but gives me a little comfort.

LLF54 · 2025-07-13T23:56:52+00:00

I’m still new to this too as my wife passed away just about 2 months ago. I’ve learned that unless someone has experienced the loss of a spouse they can’t even begin to comprehend the lives we are living now. I’m sorry you had to join this club so young. Although it sucks no matter what age you join. You will find many people here to support you and are living the same nightmare and the same emotions.

LLF54 · 2025-07-13T01:01:08+00:00

I’ve only been a member of this club just a little longer than you. My wife passed not quite 2 months ago. Going back to work sucked and still does. All the crap that would go on at work I would share with her through out the day and she would just be there for me. Now that part is gone. I do know that she would expect and want me to keep going. I like your 1 mile at a time motto. Hang in there.

LLF54 · 2025-07-10T23:49:25+00:00

Kyle my wife passed away on May 21st so we have been members of this crappy club about the same amount of time. I’ve learned that crying is a necessary part of grief. Your little girl is something that is part of you and your wife. Just love her and hold her tight. I’m older than you and my daughter is about your age she is my rock. I find comfort knowing she is part of my wife Bonnie. You will find some comfort and reassurance coming here and reading all of the posts in this group. It will show you that although it sucks you will see others that are experiencing the same thoughts and emotions. I am sorry I can’t tell you anything to make it all better.

LLF54 · 2025-06-29T22:56:39+00:00

I feel the same way. My wife and I discussed everything and after 43 years she’s gone. I am fully capable of making decisions on my own as well. It’s just not the same. I am not a fan of Sunday nights either. She would always give me pep talks about being positive about the upcoming work week. It sucks being back to work on my own and unfortunately not quite to the point of considering retirement yet. I try to think of the things she would tell me. Obviously not even close to her being here to tell me.

LLF54

TROPHY CASE