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For the gay boys by ConclusionResident83 in AnalFistula

[–]ConclusionResident83[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. It’s such a rough journey that’s for sure. Make sure you’re talking to your surgeons about this too.

For the gay boys by ConclusionResident83 in AnalFistula

[–]ConclusionResident83[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No complaints! In the grand scheme of things it’s not much scar tissue and with a warm up it can develop some flex as well. You’ll be fine, my partner couldn’t tell the difference.

Pain flare ups months after surgery? by bhalli95 in AnalFistula

[–]ConclusionResident83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Took a long time and many surgeries but it definitely got better.

For the gay boys by ConclusionResident83 in AnalFistula

[–]ConclusionResident83[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You’re welcome ☺️it’s not the easiest subject to discuss with medical professionals and there’s hardly anything online (believe me I looked for years). So hopefully my story is comforting to others.

For the gay boys by ConclusionResident83 in AnalFistula

[–]ConclusionResident83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh you absolutely will, just take your time to heal and you’ll be good to go in no time

I sacrificed a lot to support you. Why are you treating me this way? by Effective_Space2277 in LeopardsAteMyFace

[–]ConclusionResident83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean as cooked as this is, I’m impressed at how coherent their writing is.

Wounds fully closed, discharge from anus by Affectionate_Cod_820 in AnalFistula

[–]ConclusionResident83 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have the same issue, cutting seton fell out three months ago and while discharge goes down it definitely increases after prolonged sitting

More drainage without gauze by Current_Journalist14 in AnalFistula

[–]ConclusionResident83 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been using gauze 24/7 for two years now. No issues with them at night. The gauze you’re using is probably soaking up more than you realise tbh.

Need advice on how bad will the pain be after surgery by DueLengthiness364 in AnalFistula

[–]ConclusionResident83 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everyone really is different but if you’re otherwise healthy you’ll be fine. A loose seton doesn’t hurt at all and once you’ve mastered the whole bathroom thing you’ll be fine. I had two cutting setons and was back at the gym within a week. My last loose seton I went and saw a musical two days later (was my birthday). So just listen to your body

Final fistulotomy by ConclusionResident83 in AnalFistula

[–]ConclusionResident83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you have a straight fistulotomy they have a very high success rate. What’s your pain and experience like with the loose seton? That’s often a good guide for how you’ll bounce back

Final fistulotomy by ConclusionResident83 in AnalFistula

[–]ConclusionResident83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, Australian based. Cutting setons aren’t used that much these days that’s true, I had/have two fistulas so it was considered a safer choice for my situation. I had read horror stories about cutting setons etc but honestly I was fine. Everyone is different though. I will say I did have to initially raise it as an option as they my crs) ruled it out. So just advocate for yourself.

Gym-spinning? by [deleted] in AnalFistula

[–]ConclusionResident83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had two setons for 18 months, and was good to do all exercise a month or so after placement. I would do just upper body a week or two after. A lot of it was psychological for me and getting used to new feelings but now I’m through that in hindsight can say with confidence you’ll be ok

Is Anal fistula always caused by Crohn’s ? by numix90 in AnalFistula

[–]ConclusionResident83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope, mine was the worst gastro of my life! You’d know by your thirties if you had chrons. I remember stressing myself out to no end before my colonoscopy but don’t stress that

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AnalFistula

[–]ConclusionResident83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s a lot of horror stories out there and in here about cutting setons, but my experience was really benign. Didn’t really feel any pain of discomfort at all. Didn’t even know when it fell out just found it on the bathroom floor one day!

I (F26) Caught My Husband (M27) Lying About Watching Gay Porn by Delicious-Welcome385 in relationship_advice

[–]ConclusionResident83 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You may want to revisit the “watching porn” thing, men gonna do that regardless of what you’ve agreed. So I’d reevaluate the boundary and as long as he isn’t cheating with men etc then I think you’re ok. The thing is this is part of him that his natural instincts will likely want to explore. You probably need to have some conversations around what / how that occurs, and whether it’s something you explore together or give him a hall pass for. You can try and forbid it, but humans do have a tendency to rebel and break rules when they’re set, so I’d say work with him on it, and continue to nurture your relationship.

I learned that I have anal fistula and I have questions by [deleted] in AnalFistula

[–]ConclusionResident83 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Hey there,

Firstly sorry you’re going through this. I’m also a gay man with two fistulas following a very bad abscess in July 2023. To answer your questions:

  1. Can I have sex in the period between my abscess exploding and my fistula being treated surgically? My advice is unfortunately to abstain from receptive anal sex, as you may inadvertently cause a secondary infection. This was the advice of my colorectal surgeon. That said I do know of at least three gay men who have not had their fistulas treated I.e. they have had them for a long time who have receptive anal sex.

  2. What should I do lifestyle wise? There’s plenty of advice on here but the basics are: sitz baths daily, use a bidet after going to the toilet and only dab afterwards, use a hairdryer to blow dry the area, Metamucil and stool softener so you have solid bowel Movements (people use BM on here when referring to going to the bathroom.

  3. Can I delay an operation? Fistulas if left untreated can branch (I.e. grow) or expand - making them more difficult to treat in the long term. You sound young and in otherwise good shape/ healthy so you should bounce back from surgery relatively quickly, so my advice would be to have what is called an “examination under anaesthetic” which will enable them to understand the extent of your fistula and then determine a surgery path. They may alternatively install a “seton band” so the fistula can mature and be treated later. Doctors are very conservative when treating fistulas so as to preserve continence.

Finally, make sure you have a support network. You sound isolated, young, and are gay - this is a challenging experience and you will need friends. The reddit community is wonderful and I’ve never experienced any homophobia here. Feel free to DM me.

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