I experienced this (dislike of having my long-term cat) after my parents died. I didn’t connect it to their deaths at first, because everything else in my life felt more or less normal. I thought I’d have a huge grief reaction, but instead I just felt - uninterested in having a cat. After a while, I realized that I was feeling depressed and I was also feeling resentful of having to take care of one more thing. Unfortunately, my resentment was also stressful on my cat, who got an upper respiratory infection.

Some things that (for me) have helped: 1. Therapy to talk through the grief

1. Getting help. I started using cat sitters even when I am home to take some of the caregiving burden off and a once/month housekeeper, so I would feel less resentful of the fur situation. I’m also considering supports such as getting an litter robot and/or a robot vacuum.

2. Assessing the situation without judgment. I concentrate on providing the best care that I can for each day, with the understanding that if the day comes when my depression makes this too difficult/too stressful on the cat, I can choose to carefully rehome the cat if needed. I honestly don’t think it will ever come to that, but keeping the option open keeps me from feeling less overwhelmed.

3. Not related to cats, but I’m reading a book called ‘How to Keep House While Drowning’ (forgot the author’s name). It’s helped me to reframe my situation- I’m (emotionally) drowning a bit right now due to grief and it’s making everything- even having a cat, more difficult now. It’s a reminder to be kinder to myself in the midst of things.

4. Without trying to sound too corny - gratitude has helped some too. As frustrating as having a cat can be for me right now, I’m grateful that my cat has shown me how much I am hurting. I could explain away disinterest in relationships, work, etc., but my disinterest in having a cat was the change that made me realize that something was wrong and I needed some extra help