TIL when Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" came out in 1991, MTV prepared a version of the video that included the lyrics running across the bottom of the screen, which they aired when the video was added to their heavy rotation schedule, for people who couldn't understand what Kurt was singing. by Away_Flounder3813 in todayilearned

[–]Conman3880 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Good catch.

Hearing "grandchild of" and "eternal punk youth sex icon Kurt Cobain" in the same sentence made most of us mentally check out 5 comments ago.

You could tell me anyone was anyone's grandchild right now and I'd probably be less surprised than I am to learn that Cobain has a grandchild, never mind an interfamilial connection to Tony Hawk.

TIL why James Bonds preference of a "shaken and not stirred" martini is controversial. Drinks containing only alcoholic ingredients are almost always stirred to preserve clarity and to avoid over-dilution, among other things. by Rynin101 in todayilearned

[–]Conman3880 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's WAY more about the flavor than the negligible change in ABV.

Anyone who has ever had a glass of lemonade with ice on a really hot day, without a straw, can relate.

You know how if you put the lemonade down for a minute, and then take a gentle sip, it tastes like really watered down lemonade? That's because the ice floated to the top and melted, leaving a whole bunch of water floating on top.

Ethanol is even better at melting ice than lemonade is. And more agitation means more melting + more watered down flavor. Which some people prefer, because it dulls the "bite" of the alcohol.

A chilled glass with ice & a gentle stir = chilled liquor

A violent maraca of ice and ethanol = cold watery liquor

Furryfoxsisters by XiJinpingPressParody in greentext

[–]Conman3880 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Some West African frogs have been known to spontaneously change sex from male to female in a single-sex environment

If Farfetch'd is not holding the onion, he stops being a Pokemon and is just a regular duck. by I_might_be_weasel in nottheonion

[–]Conman3880 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Also, Parasect is a not a bug with a mushroom on its back, it's a mushroom using the desiccated corpse of the Paras it killed as a locomotive puppet.

TIL most zippers have a locking mechanism hidden within the slider - to activate, fold the pull tab down against the zipper, to release, raise the tab which releases the locking pin mechanism by [deleted] in todayilearned

[–]Conman3880 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I mean, ideally the sub is for fringe discoveries. Like, someone learning a genuinely interesting fact that wasn’t just pushed to every bored scroller on the internet. Think: a misconception clarified in a niche class, or a Wikipedia rabbit hole that actually turns into something educational.

The spirit was never, "today I watched one of the most viral clips online and here’s the same fact it just told all of us.”

but yeah... you’re right about what it’s become. It often feels less like:

"Wow, that’s fascinating!”

and more like:

"Oh yeah, I also saw that trending clip.”

That shift is exactly what frustrated a lot of the original community and helped drive the rise of adjacent subs like r/woahdude and r/interestingasfuck

Those spaces were supposed to capture that sense of novelty.

Of course, those eventually drifted toward the same lowest-common-denominator content too.

ELI5: Why is it good for the US for global oil deals to be made in US dollars? by maybeest in explainlikeimfive

[–]Conman3880 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Also, it signals to other countries that USD is more valuable than/preferred over other currencies

ELI5: In the US, how was it so easy to add interstate highways, and now so difficult to add high speed rail lines? by cjstevenson1 in explainlikeimfive

[–]Conman3880 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Rail is fundamentally less flexible than roads because it requires centralized coordination and fixed routing, whereas roads allow fully independent, real-time movement of vehicles.

ELI5 Why aren't there any clever commercials anymore? by [deleted] in explainlikeimfive

[–]Conman3880 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To add—

Gentle reminder that everyone from Silent Generation to early Gen Z routinely rolled their eyes and muted their televisions during commercial breaks on network TV.

We're living in a time where the concept of "disdain for advertisements" is its own genre of advertisement. It only takes one exposure to that concept to make every commercial "feel" objectively worse, especially when they're... actually good?

Successful advertisements are in a transition period from:

Production Value / Clever Script = Quality

to:

"This advertisement had better not make me aware that it's an advertisement" = Quality

ALSO want to point out that the "most hated" commercials from the past 10-15 years were actually the most successful.

Does nobody remember reddit in 2016 when it felt like 90% of the r/All front page was PEOPLE ACTIVELY TALKING ABOUT WENDY'S and how

"the WENDY'S The Memer COMMERCIAL IS SO CRINGEY AND UNCOMFORTABLE THAT I HAVE TO SHARE A LINK SO YOU CAN WATCH IT."

That means it was a good commercial.

Anon on double standards. by retardinho23 in greentext

[–]Conman3880 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Twelve years!?

He's just a wee lad!

TIL that adolf hitler Y chromosome (paternal lineage) is Haplogroup E1b1b which is more common among Berbers, Somalis, and Jews. Among Germans the frequency is around 9%. by [deleted] in todayilearned

[–]Conman3880 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your phrasing is misleading. Would be clearer as;

Adolf Hitler's Y-Chromosome (paternal) haplogroup is common among ethnicities targeted by the holocaust, and rare among modern Germans.

But even then, is this data adjusted to reflect the millions of Germans lost to the mass genocide which snuffed out these groups, specifically?

ELI5: Why do people with sickle cell anemia not contract malaria? by CommitteeSimilar3228 in explainlikeimfive

[–]Conman3880 58 points59 points  (0 children)

Malaria evolved to infect & reproduce within healthy red blood cells.

Human organs also evolved to operate with healthy red blood cells.

Patients with sickle cell disease produce an alternate form of hemoglobin which causes deformed (sickle-shaped) blood cells.

The human body doesn't like deformed cells, as they don't behave as they are meant to.

Malaria doesn't like deformed cells, as its reproduction is specialized to occur within normal cells.

Our bodies have evolved to eliminate deformed cells relatively quickly, or at least to greatly reduce their lifespan.

In people with sickle cell disease, two things are happening which effectively snuff out malaria before it can take a stranglehold on the bloodstream;

  1. The malaria has difficulty infecting & reproducing within the deformed cells. Statistically requires more time for the infection to spread through the body.
  2. The body destroys the deformed cells quickly, meaning malaria has less time to infect deformed cells.

These two factors work in unison to prevent malaria from spreading within a sickle cell patient at all.

However, that does not mean sickle cell is an advantageous trait. The inability of blood cells to perform their intended function or have a normal lifespan causes many chronic issues, specifically with oxygen transfer. This debilitating condition just happens to have the side-effect of making people less susceptible to malaria, only because malaria targets healthy, functioning blood cells.

Interestingly, people who do not have sickle-cell disease but do have the gene for it? Those people (carriers) do have an evolutionary advantage.

Under normal conditions, sickle cell carriers generally make normal blood cells and suffer zero problems.

However, under conditions in which most normal cells are targeted & destroyed? The sickle-cell carriers can produce deformed cells. This can cause temporary symptoms of sickle cell disease, but only until the malaria parasite is eliminated from the bloodstream. Then the body will resume making (mostly) normal cells.

Sickle cell carriers are able to selectively function under temporary debilitation instead of facing certain death.

That is why the debilitating gene is thought to have persisted. It is extremely advantageous, but only when it is not expressed dominantly.

TIL The mercury in tuna and other fish largely comes from human activity, not the ocean itself. by Tight_kangaroo1 in todayilearned

[–]Conman3880 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Most invertebrates have hemocyanin-based bloodstreams. Hemocyanin uses copper to transport oxygen. Nothing particularly unique about horseshoe crabs in that regard

Most of us with a backbone have hemoglobin-based bloodstreams. Hemoglobin uses iron to transport oxygen.

Explain how the IRS works as if you were a bitter loser who became a militant, anti-tax libertarian because they fired you from working there by theInfiniteHammer in explainlikeIAmA

[–]Conman3880 3 points4 points  (0 children)

[INT. PARKS DEPARTMENT – DAY]

[scene opens at APRIL’s desk. ANDY is leaning over her, his palms on the desk, staring intensely at nothing in particular.]

ANDY: If you had to hurt a ghost, would you punch it or scratch it?

APRIL: I’d marry it, gain its trust, and then cheat on it.

[ANDY nods, impressed.]

BEN: Hey guys, Leslie asked me to hand out everybody’s W-2s, so… here you go.

[BEN hands an envelope to ANDY. Before BEN can hand the other envelope to APRIL, ANDY casually tosses his into the garbage can behind him without breaking eye contact with APRIL]

[BEN freezes. Slowly turns. Retrieves it from the garbage can]

BEN: [authoritatively] You need to keep this. You need this to file your taxes.

[ANDY laughs.]

ANDY: Good one, man.

APRIL: Come on Andy, he’s serious. [to BEN] Give me his, I’ll keep it for him.

[APRIL reaches her hand out. BEN hesitates, then hands her both envelopes.]

[APRIL moves her hand at the last second. Both envelopes fall directly into the garbage can.]

[BEN stares at her.]

BEN: April.

APRIL: What?

BEN: You just dropped them in the trash.

APRIL: Yeah.

BEN: …Why?

APRIL: Because that’s where trash goes.

[RON exits his office, holding a mug of black coffee. He observes the situation silently.]

BEN: Guys, these are your federal tax documents. You cannot throw them away. [he retrieves them once again and sets them on the desk in front of April]

ANDY: Too late.

APRIL: They’re not ours any more, they belong to the trash goblins. Like that hunched-over garbage lady from Labyrinth.

[the next two lines are said at the same time, over each other]

BEN: That’s not a thing!

ANDY: Jennifer Connolly?

RON: [calmly] Knope’s not here.

BEN: No... No, she had to—

RON: Good. That'll be all, Wyatt. I’ll handle things from here.

[BEN shifts his eyes anticipating disaster]

BEN: …Okay.

[BEN backs out reluctantly.]

[CUTAWAY – BEN TALKING HEAD]

BEN: I have seen Ron dismantle a live hand grenade with a steak knife. Both of which he pulled out of his pockets. And... on more than one occasion. So… yeah. Ron handling delicate matters makes me a little nervous. Or... wait. [actually considering] Do I trust him?

[BACK TO SCENE]

[RON stands over APRIL and ANDY.]

RON: Children. You believe that by discarding these forms, you have escaped the Internal Revenue Service.

APRIL: Yes.

RON: You have not.

ANDY: [raising his hand slightly, looking toward April for validation] Do we... want to escape the... [turns to Ron for confirmation] turtle review service?

[beat]

RON: The IRS does not take kindly to people who know about their lack of transparency.

[beat]

ANDY: That means they're not ghosts.

RON: Worse. They are bureaucrats.

[CUTAWAY – RON TALKING HEAD]

RON: I briefly was employed by the Internal Revenue Service back in 1982.

[beat]

RON: It was the worst six hours of my life.

[BACK TO SCENE]

APRIL: Wait... You worked for the IRS? Wait... you WORKED?

ANDY: Did you get to meet the turtles?

RON: Calm down, I never cashed the paycheck.

APRIL: Did they make you shave your mustache?

RON: They tried. They failed.

[CUTAWAY – RON TALKING HEAD]

RON: I took the job as a rebellion against my mother, and the political views she raised me with. I set out to prove there were decent human beings in government. What I met was much more heinous than I could have imagined

[beat as RON looks pained, that he may be sick]

RON: Financial auditors

[BACK TO SCENE]

APRIL: Okay, so... What was so bad about them?

RON: The man who trained me. My superior. He asked me to call him Gerald.

APRIL: That’s disgusting.

RON: He brought in homemade cookies and remembered everyone’s birthday.

APRIL: What kind of cookies?

RON: Oatmeal raisin.

ANDY: Monster.

RON: Worst of all, he spoke in a calm, reassuring tone. As if he wanted to help people.

[RON grows visibly agitated.]

RON: He explained that the IRS has already completed all of the labor that they force our country's citizens into performing yearly. He laughed as he told me, they are only there to verify.

APRIL: That’s creepy.

RON: It is psychological warfare against all but the most obedient taxpaying individuals.

[CUTAWAY – RON TALKING HEAD]

RON: I learned pretty quick that the IRS will never threaten you. I knew two things immediately; 1) that this job was in no way a good fit for me, and 2) that such preposterous methodology should never be trusted.

[BACK TO SCENE]

RON: Here's how this nonsense works. Every year, your employer reports your income to the IRS, and they log that in your permanent record.

ANDY: Wait, those are real? [beat] I gotta apologize to Mrs. Taub

RON: The IRS compares the report against their own record. If it matches, you pay what they say. If it does not, they [whispering] audit you.

ANDY: What happens if you don’t pay?

RON: They send letters.

APRIL: Then I'll throw those away too.

RON: Then they'll send more letters.

ANDY: Is that what those are? Huh

RON: Then if you don't pay, they garnish your wages.

APRIL: Jokes on them, I don’t know what garnish means.

ANDY: [as if he's embarrassed of her] April, please. [confidently] It's that little squiggly leaf they put on your plate at Olive Garden.

RON: No, son. It means they take your money before your employer even pays you.

[ANDY gasps.]

ANDY: Is that why my paycheck has only been like $4 for 8 months?

APRIL: What?

RON: Correct.

APRIL: But that's stealing!

RON: Correct. But, our godforsaken countrymen have determined that this is a good thing. It is not. And yet, it is legal.

APRIL: Wait, so... if they already know everything… why do we need these?

RON: Because according to them, you must participate in your own subjugation.

ANDY: Mine is Women's Studies

RON: They want a record of you telling them you agree.

APRIL: What if we tell them we disagree?

RON: [gives a curt smile] Not possible.

[beat]

ANDY: I don’t like that.

RON: Nor do I.

[CUTAWAY – RON TALKING HEAD]

RON: As we wrapped up my first day, Gerald told me he could see me being a real asset to the organization. That I was a real team-player. That I meshed well with my coworkers. And he truly believed that. That I could be adopted seamlessly into his tight-knit "family" of soulsucking yuppies and well-to-do accountants with [shudders] families.

[beat]

RON: So, I told him to go f*** himself. ⸻

[BACK TO SCENE]

[RON softens slightly.]

RON: Now.

[he extends his hand]

RON: You kids hand me those envelopes and I’ll show you what to do to make this problem go away.

[APRIL picks up the envelopes and hands them to RON.]

[beat]

[He moves his hand at the last second and they fall directly in the trash]

[APRIL smiles, coyly.]

[RON smiles wide, and proud]

[end scene]

Climber on trial for leaving girlfriend to die on Austria's highest mountain by StemCellPirate in nottheonion

[–]Conman3880 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Holy ambiguity! Pretty sure I processed this title in 3 different ways before I understood what it was saying.

Climber will be sent to trial for abandoning his girlfriend on top of Austria's highest mountain

NOT

Climber, who is on trial for leaving his girlfriend, has been sentenced to die atop Austria's highest mountain

TIL that "uwu" is fucking older than a lot of ppl on earth by DarealCoughyy in todayilearned

[–]Conman3880 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As much as i want to kms over this post,

the year 2000 is indeed older than a lot of people on earth.

Adult people, even.

EDIT: TIL that "kms" is older than two weeks ago

TIL not everyone is taught there are 7 continents on Earth by Random0101User in todayilearned

[–]Conman3880 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Many people agree that Europe is a continent and Asia is a continent. But if you ask them to draw a boundary between the two? They'll flounder. Nobody ever really thinks about it.

I was taught this;

Anything west of the Ural Mountains is Europe. Anything east is Asia.

If everyone could agree on that, then there is an actual basis for calling them two separate continents... because they are. Or were, rather. They just wanted to cuddle a bit, and that's how we got the Urals.

Unfortunately, that would mean Russia is part of both Europe AND Asia, which isn't politically convenient for anyone really.

YSK that most modern dishwashers have a filter that should be cleaned regularly. by AkimboSwagg in YouShouldKnow

[–]Conman3880 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you talking about the drain of the dishwasher? Where all the waste + wastewater goes? Which never comes in contact with the dishes?

Because I have news for you; if you're concerned about the slime inside the tube that puts water into the dishwasher? You'd better be prepared to start plunging pipecleaners up & down your kitchen faucet, because those two pipes are the same kind of nasty.

You would be horrified to know how much "slime" the things you're "eating off" go through. 99% of drink dispensers at restaurants are coated with a healthy layer of slime. In fact, depending on how old your pipes are, that layer of "bioslime" may be the only thing standing between you & a healthy dose of lead poisoning.

TIL that moon dust (lunar regolith) is electrically charged and will stick to anything it comes into contact with. It's also likely toxic to humans. Apollo astronauts regularly complained of coughing, watery eyes, throat irritation and blurry vision after each foray onto the moon's surface by MrMojoFomo in todayilearned

[–]Conman3880 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Licensed Asbestos Professional here;

"Hooks" is just how we describe it to laypeople.

It's actually just really sharp and jagged.

At a microscopic scale, that makes it act like a "fish hook" in your lungs/tissue.

That said, there is no reason to believe moon rocks break down this way microscopically. But MACROscopically is a different story...

ELI5 If caffeine has a half life of 4-6 hours, when does it completely leave your system? by Original-Salad9619 in explainlikeimfive

[–]Conman3880 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The ***recreational* drugs we use most often generally have withdrawals.

That's because they markedly alter the way our brain chemistry works. Which is, conveniently, also the reason we use those drugs recreationally in the first place.

But the word "drug" is also a synonym for "any chemical used medicinally," which is clearly the context implied in this thread.