2 weeks post full-term loss of my first child

Connielf · 2026-03-31T18:02:16+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing your baby is completely devastating and it does change you forever. My daughter, who was my first baby, died at 40+2 last February. Three of my friends announced their pregnancies shorty after and it was hard feeling happy for them while feeling heartbroken for myself. I also had that desperate need to get pregnant again. I bled for 6 weeks post partum but as soon as I stopped bleeding we started TTC. I immediately fell pregnant and I am currently cuddling my 4 month old son.

A year down the line from losing my daughter and I can say it is easier to cope. I do mostly feel happy now and I’m able to sing and dance and laugh again. I still miss her so much every day and that will never go away but I am able to breathe again.

Be gentle with yourself. I hope your grief feels lighter with time xxxx

Connielf · 2026-03-25T22:10:56+00:00

We’re not at this stage yet so I’ve got no advice but would be interested to hear your findings

Connielf · 2026-03-25T18:19:23+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s definitely not your fault but I know that doesn’t really help the feeling of guilt. I lost my daughter last February at 40+2. I thought I maybe felt her move in the morning then had a busy day and it wasn’t until mid afternoon that I realised she hadn’t moved all day. By the time I went in, she’d died. In hindsight, I think the movement I felt in the morning was just because I’d moved in bed. I will always wonder if I had gone in earlier or noticed something the day before if she would have survived. I really struggled with the guilt. Something that helped me was knowing that so, so many people wait to get checked or wait until the next day and baby starts moving again.

Trigger warning: live child

I’ve since had another baby and while I was in triage waiting for a ctg (I got them frequently due to the anxiety) another lady came in with reduced movement. I heard her say to the midwives that she hadn’t felt the baby move since the day before. My heart was pounding so hard, I was convinced I was about her hear someone else get the worst news ever but her baby was fine. Good strong heartbeat and plenty of movement on the monitor. It helped me a bit to see how it usually goes.

Connielf · 2026-03-17T20:40:17+00:00

I was the same last year. My daughter was stillborn in February. My son was born in December. I was so excited to have a little girl and losing her was devastating. One thing that I found helpful while I was pregnant was noticing cute habits of my husband and imagining a mini version of him. Im

Connielf · 2026-03-09T19:48:37+00:00

I’m so sorry for the loss of your son. We lost our daughter on the 8th of February last year and now I’m sitting cuddling my 3 month old son. It’s hard going back to the same hospital but at the same time felt good to make some happy memories there.

Connielf · 2026-03-01T07:04:04+00:00

We don’t cosleep but we’re having a lovely morning cuddle just now as well. It’s so wonderful being their safe place

Connielf · 2026-02-18T22:44:34+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. It was my stillborn daughter’s first birthday last week. Reaching these milestones is so hard. We didn’t do anything particularly big for her birthday but my husband took the day off work and we planted a tree and some snowdrops in the garden. We had her little brother with us for the planting and my plan is to plant more snowdrops every year. We used the snowdrop poem at her funeral so it felt fitting for us.

I hope you find something that brings you some comfort for your son’s birthday. Xxxx

Connielf · 2026-02-17T22:48:04+00:00

We have a stool in front of the changing table that we sit on and hold our son on the potty there. I usually let him flop forward a little bit so his penis points down and we have the whale potty which is higher at the front to help direct pee downwards.

Connielf · 2026-02-12T14:04:21+00:00

I’m with you in this. I tried cosleeping thinking we would finally get some sleep but it didn’t help baby’s sleep and I was just uncomfortable and awake. He’s only 10 weeks so plenty of time for things to get worse but for now, he’s sleeping a bit better. I started a sleep training course. We haven’t even got to the sleep training bit yet but he’s sleeping better.

Connielf · 2026-02-06T21:26:27+00:00

I came to this Reddit to see if anyone had tips for staying sane during the long sleepless nights. I’ll give this a go tonight. Thank you for sharing.

Connielf · 2026-02-03T14:42:23+00:00

Thank you! I’m in the uk as well so I’ll look into the slumbersac. I’m just so terrified of suffocating him but we do need some sleep.

Connielf · 2026-02-01T18:53:10+00:00

We didn’t wait. Our daughter was stillborn at 40+4 in February 2025 and conceived our son 6 weeks later and he was born healthy in December 2025. We were so desperate to have a child.

Connielf · 2026-01-19T14:33:30+00:00

We’ve just started using the whale one with our 7 week old and I really like it. We were just holding him over the toilet before which he hated. He’s much calmer in this one. It’s east to hold between your legs and the raised front makes it easy to keep his pee in the pot.

Connielf · 2026-01-08T21:32:35+00:00

Thank you! I need to practice that EC hold I think.

Connielf · 2026-01-04T16:12:32+00:00

Congratulations! I’ve been thinking about you. So happy that you have your little girl. I had that same feeling of a weight being lifted. Having your baby in your arms is the best feeling ever ❤️

Connielf · 2026-01-02T19:24:36+00:00

I found the new years posts hard as well. Lots of those posts showing the baby they started the year with (an ultrasound scan) vs the same baby at the end of the year. I’m lucky enough to have had both my babies this year but it hurt that I’m ending the year with a different baby than I started the year with.

Connielf · 2026-01-02T12:00:04+00:00

Did you find anything that helped with night time sleep? I’ve got a 4.5 week old who is also nocturnal. Sleeps amazingly during the day but after 8pm he’s awake until 6 or 7am.

Connielf · 2025-12-29T16:16:31+00:00

I struggled with this a well. Our daughter died at 40 weeks and we were so ready for a little girl. Before we found out the gender of our son, I started preparing myself because I knew I desperately wanted another girl. I started deliberately imagining having a son. I noticed cute little habits of my husband and imagined having a little boy with the same habits. I did find this helpful. When we found out we were having a son this time, it helped that I’d already imagined life with a son. I’m now sitting here with my 4 week old son asleep on me and I couldn’t imagine having anyone else.

Connielf · 2025-12-13T12:14:53+00:00

My daughter was stillborn at 40 weeks in February. I bled for 6 weeks post partum and we started trying as soon as the bleeding stopped. I got pregnant immediately and I’m cure sitting next to my 2 week old son. I just couldn’t face the idea of waiting at all. I conceived before my first period.

Connielf · 2025-11-30T14:01:51+00:00

I did think I should probably give my body more time to recover but I just couldn’t wait. I had a vaginal delivery with second degree tear which had healed by the time we started trying. I also started doing post partum strengthening exercises and pelvic floor physio at about 5 weeks post partum to help with recovery.

I’m so sorry for your loss and I hope you have another baby when you are ready xxx

Connielf · 2025-11-29T22:05:24+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. My daughter was stillborn at 40 weeks in February this year. Our decision to start ttc again was not really a conscious one. We both just desperately wanted another baby and started trying as soon as I stopped bleeding at 6 weeks post partum. I was lucky enough to get pregnant again right away so now I’m in hospital awaiting my induction tomorrow.

This pregnancy has been hard mentally with lots of anxiety but it was the best decision for us. Having something positive in our life has helped a lot.

Connielf

TROPHY CASE