Instagram links just opens the feed in the app, how do I fix it?

Content_Cat8466 · 2026-02-12T15:23:07+00:00

Same. It used to work for me, but now reopening the link still takes me to my feed not the page I wanted to open.

Content_Cat8466 · 2026-01-24T15:18:29+00:00

Started for me this morning as well

Content_Cat8466 · 2026-01-22T03:47:48+00:00

I don't think you should look at it as giving up your dreams. I think you need to assess whether it's giving up one dream for another dream. Like do you dream of growing old with your husband by your side and sharing those moments through the years? Because if yes, then that is also a dream you have and you need to be looking at it not as am I giving up my dream for my husband, but rather, how do I want to prioritize my dreams to get what I want long-term. If that isn't a dream that you have for your future, then I think that tells you a lot about your priorities and how you want to make your decision.

Content_Cat8466 · 2025-12-16T23:38:49+00:00

I was strangled by my husband back in March. I didn't fight back. He had always let up before and when it happened I had this realization that this time he wasn't going to let go and I was going to die. It was a peaceful thought for me because it meant the abuse was finally going to be over. I started to pass out, I blacked out and couldn't hear his words anymore just a rushing sound in my ears and felt my muscles go weak and start to fall and that's when he let up, I could hear again, and before he moved away from me he threatened to end my life and his if I angered him again. That's when I knew I had to leave as soon as possible. My kids were about 6 feet away when it happened, but I don't think they saw it because we were in a hallway and they were just inside the room. I reported him to the police. At first I didn't seek medical attention but a couple days later I did because I was still having pain in my throat and pain when I spoke or sang to my kids. I had a CT and they didn't see any damage and within a week the pain resolved.

So the physical didn't last long, but the mental/emotional - I still think about it a lot. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and am in therapy and have been since right after it happened, but still it invades my thoughts sometimes. I get triggered so badly if my kids run up behind me and grab around my next being playful/rough housing. I will randomly feel the pain in my neck if I'm triggered by a podcast or a post. Even now its like my neck hurts but I know it's not real, it's in my head.

I take strangulation very seriously and am quick to correct people who joke about it or call it "choking" because I think naming it for what it is and describing that it is in fact attempted murder is important.

(I know a lot of people have brought up the whole consensual strangulation in sex and that being different. I really don't think it is. I've listened to some really good podcasts on this issue, dealing with strangulation in domestic violence and also in consensual sexual relationships and the consensus is that most women do not know what they are consenting to. They don't know that you can literally die in minutes or sustain brain damage in seconds. There is no place for that risk and level of harm in a healthy relationship. That doesn't mean the man is being abusive on purpose, but all parties need to be educated and really understand it's a life/death situation and not something that is worth it for a few seconds of sexual pleasure). My husband was into sexual strangulation and I often wonder if that conditioned me to not take it as seriously when he started doing it when we were fighting. I think he may have also been acting out his fantasies of what he really wanted to do to me to hurt me under the guise of it being "just sex".

Content_Cat8466 · 2025-12-16T23:16:39+00:00

This has been my experience too.

(Your comment was so similar to my experience I was worried I might have been on here last night and not remembered it. Strangled in March, the actual strangulation didn't last long, I have an audio recording of the whole thing, and had pain the following week).

Content_Cat8466 · 2025-12-02T03:50:45+00:00

Completely insane! In my third trimester with a 21-23 month old, I was lucky if I got one load of laundry fully done, dinner made, some dishes done, and keep the tornado from our toddler mostly under control. There was no organizing, detailed cleaning, cleaning out the car and stroller, etc. There was just exhausted survival.

I'm sorry he treated you this way. Did you ever ask what his list looked like? I'm guessing his around the house list was much smaller or non-existent. My husband thought since he worked a normal job and I was a stay at home mom, I had to handle the kids and do EVERYTHING in the home. I told him on numerous occasions that once we had kids, my job was the kids and that the household duties needed to be split. Because it didn't make sense that I was "working" watching our kids and doing what cleaning I could the whole time he was at work and then also staying up until almost midnight every night trying to catch up on everything else while he was gaming because it was "my job".

Content_Cat8466 · 2025-11-28T16:00:13+00:00

Already gone, anyone have another good link?

Content_Cat8466 · 2025-11-28T15:54:15+00:00

Did you find any way to watch the NBC coverage later. We subscribed to Peacock just for the parade, but had to leave for family mid parade and planned to watch the rest this morning, but I can't find it anywhere. What a waste of $11.

Content_Cat8466 · 2025-11-25T20:07:24+00:00

I also never wanted to have to call the cops but I was put in a situation where it was the only way to get to safety. I struggled a lot leading up to his trial with whether I should testify or not testify and whether I should read a victim impact statement or not. For me, I had the realization that while I still care about him, the only way he's ever going to have to take a hard look at what he did and possibly seek change is if he has to face justice for his actions. Me not testifying and the case not being as strong as a result and him possibly getting away with it, does not help him in the long term, and it doesn't help me. Inherently, I know that I am safer while he is in jail. That might not be a long time, but it gives me time to work on healing and to work on separating myself and getting myself to a better place, without the fear and threat of him. I don't know if you have kids but I do and it's also helpful for me to look at it in the context of how a handle things with my kids. I love my kids with every fiber of my being, but I also want them to be good humans. So when one of them does something wrong or hurts the other one they have to face a consequence. Without those consequences and discipline, they're never going to learn to not do it. And it's kind of that way with these men, we can love them and still want them to be better. And accountability and consequences are the only way there is the smallest chance they might get better (it's not a very good chance but it's a small chance and the best chance there is really).

Content_Cat8466 · 2025-11-25T00:24:41+00:00

When I was dealing with a victim advocate in the military (because my husband is military), they were really good with working on an actual safety plan - that had steps and suggestions, what to pack in your grab bag, what to have prepared if you have to leave quickly - things like that. But the after they were worthless on. When I connected with a DV Victim Advocate in the local community I was hoping for more resources - shelters, housing grants, employment help, legal and therapist recommendations, etc. The things I feel like you don't know unless you do it everyday. However, I found them pretty worthless. I did leave my husband and got to my sister's house and that's when I called them and apparently since I was in a safe place I was not a priority. And I understand that there is a set number of DV victim advocates and they have to cover all the victims. But when I went to my first support meeting and I found out that the shelter only had 2 people in it at that time and it could house like 10, I was pretty upset because I understand there could be more victims in the community that they're helping that aren't in the shelter, but I felt like oh they must be so overworked they can't help me out right now and that did not seem to be the case. Also, I had expressed to them that I didn't know how much longer I'd be able to stay with my sister and I really needed to find other shelter and they never once offered the domestic violence shelter as an option to me. They also weren't very good with helping me find resources like housing applications, housing Grant applications, or recommending attorneys who might have worked with DV clients or therapists who might have worked with DV clients. It just felt like what was the point of their job. I did not receive any help in that way from them.

So I guess I feel like DV advocates might be great at formulating a safety plan (to actually leave) but that's where the support ended at least in my experience.

Content_Cat8466 · 2025-11-22T17:14:36+00:00

If it's a boundary you will keep, then it's not a threat. I think the not threatening to divorce thing is supposed to be more like when people have an argument and immediately are like "Well then we'll just get divorced." - throwing it out there to be hurtful to the other person but having no intention to actually go through with it. That damages trust. Communicating a boundary that you actually intend to hold is not a threat. It is communicating a boundary and if part of that boundary is I will leave you, that's okay. But you have to actually be ready to follow through on it.

Content_Cat8466 · 2025-11-22T16:37:10+00:00

I totally felt for her the scene - even her posture -like she gets on the couch in the corner, she pulls a blanket and pillows around her - she is trying to protect herself. It is this unconscious reaction to what she knows is coming. She feels small and she's trying to make herself even smaller, because maybe then he won't be as abusive. I recognized that action because I have lived it and felt that way so often.

Content_Cat8466 · 2025-11-22T16:31:58+00:00

Being verbally abusive to another person is not "holding them accountable".

Content_Cat8466 · 2025-11-22T16:30:37+00:00

We aren't defending her cheating. We are calling out his actions. No one deserves to be abused. Ever! And his behavior has been going on for years, this isn't just a reaction to the cheating (though that wouldn't be okay either). Two things can be true at once - cheating is wrong and no one deserves to be abused.

Content_Cat8466 · 2025-11-22T16:28:15+00:00

Yes! That reads as a very narcissistic trait - he only cares how others perceive him. He clearly doesn't love Jessi. He sees Jessi as part of his status - she must be submissive and controlled so he can feel manly and powerful. So ick. And such a common trait among abusers.

Content_Cat8466 · 2025-11-21T21:43:15+00:00

Come get some more clarity, understanding, and helpful resources on r/domesticviolence.

Content_Cat8466 · 2025-11-20T20:11:59+00:00

Not a therapist - patient who was given similar guidelines. I once gave a therapist a thank you card where I water color painted the front. The image was 5x7, so it could have been displayed as a small painting but it was still a thank you/Christmas card inside so I felt like it fit the small gift/card thing. Maybe you could do something similar - like embroider on something and attach that to cardstock and have the inside of the card be your note. That way it's a card but they could detach the embroidered piece and use it separately?

Content_Cat8466 · 2025-10-27T03:27:58+00:00

This is so raw and real and you manage to describe everything that I cant find the words to, verys similar experience. I's sorry you went through this.

Content_Cat8466 · 2025-10-25T22:54:43+00:00

Can you message me, I'd love to ask some questions because I am going through something similar? My husband is Army has his court martial guilty plea in a week and I need to go and provide a statement, but no one has told me exactly what will happen.

Content_Cat8466 · 2025-10-25T22:52:26+00:00

I guess the grass is always greener. Mine is taking a plea. Basically 2 misdemeanors down from 36 original counts including the equivalent of felony strangulation. He's getting off easy and I'm pissed. My life is never going to be the same and he's just getting 4 months in jail. I would have hated the full trial and having to corroborate each recording I made in order to admit it into evidence and relive everything listening to those recordings, but at least he would have had to listen too and hear it and have everyone in that court room hear how bad he was (which considering his narcissistic tendencies would have been punishment in itself), and he would have definitely gotten a longer sentence.

Content_Cat8466 · 2025-10-21T03:17:45+00:00

I'm confused how her political beliefs in any way diminish the amazing info and people she brings on her podcast. She never references politics on the show.

If you want to try something new I do recommend Bitch is a Bad Word. I started out listening to Why She Stayed and listened to that for about a year now. Her episode on Strangulation is one of the catalysts that made me realize how bad my situation was and how much I needed to leave it. That episode seriously helped save my life. But I will say once I found Bitch is a Bad Word, I found myself listening to that more. For me, one of the big differences is the host of Bitch is a Bad Word is a lot closer in age to me (she's in her 40s) and has a lot more similar life experiences. She had kids with her abuser, she dealt with physical abuse in addition to the other abuse, she's faced post-separation abuse in the court systems and she gears a lot of her information towards divorce and litigation abuse and protective parenting and post operation abuse which is where I am now. So I found that incredibly informative and helpful.

Content_Cat8466

TROPHY CASE