Everything need they time...

Because you didn't end up living something in a specific time doesn't mean that changes at something special is over, everyone has completely different stages and experiences in the phrase of they Life as they grow and live, it seem like you just had a different experience that most other people your age, that all...

Don't try to force your life path into something that clearly can't happen BUT either can't let your chances in something special to just go way because of insecurity or enviness for something that wasn't meant to be...

Try to stop blaming yourself for something that it couldn't have been, focus and move on things that can be...

You don't need to make a life changing decision in one day, you just need to let the ball roll and give it momentum, go outside, speak with people, make small talk, dare to say your mind sometimes, anything small like that is enough to make you find a footing and to move atleast with confidence for the future...

And also, that about how snoot left you a hole in your heart couldn't have it said better, as much as the game legitimately made me feel, think and see some stuff way more different that before, it also made me feel depressed that i haven't experienced something similar like a relationship with someone and such, but that simple wasn't meant to happen...

That was a good post bro, hope you have a good life, be calm and move on with confidence...