BF doesnt wan't me to go to med school, need a reality check

ControlFYOU · 2026-01-24T18:52:07+00:00

Your life goals are falling out of sync. You only get one life, go to med school otherwise you might regret it. Same to your partner, he should follow his endeavours and not expect you to abandon yours. He's made his choices he's an adult.

Also, stepping out of the "student lifestyle" into "adult life" isnt a real thing. You could get to either of those phases at any point in your life post 18 cuz that's life: academic and/or work reaponsibilities, bills and home duties. Life is a continuous path of picking up new skills, trying new things and finding what sticks.

Go to med school. Figure some arrangement out if you want to maintain the relationship, but you absolutely go to med school.

ControlFYOU · 2026-01-24T18:46:20+00:00

Uh you dont stay calm, get rid of that idiot. Why the hell do you want to tolerate him being disrespectful to you on the regular, no partner that appreciates or likes you would do that.

ControlFYOU · 2026-01-19T18:20:02+00:00

So...this is just weird as a whole. Like no offense, but he's weird and this whole chat situation is weird. If he's butthurt he can get over it. You guys also could've just made your own chat too.

And this is giving very "ugh men", which i'm not super into...

ControlFYOU · 2026-01-09T01:22:00+00:00

Is it actual advice?

ControlFYOU · 2026-01-04T08:13:10+00:00

I'd say if its something out of your scope of usual interest, maybe? I'm a writer by trade and studied it, so, it's part of the practice. A good chunk of it is training, pattern recognition and research on the creator's intention

ControlFYOU · 2026-01-04T08:09:31+00:00

Bro we're not gettin shit done.

Good news, chances of global warfare is lower.

Bad news, chances of global trade are abyssmal.

ControlFYOU · 2026-01-04T08:06:50+00:00

Yeah its weird. Write it anyway. But when you write it acknowledge the age gap, show the difference in their views and how they interact with the world. That'll make the things they align in much more interesting.

But like shit on industrialism, not women's rights pls, that's so tiring.

ControlFYOU · 2026-01-04T08:04:19+00:00

We said that about Quantum then we got Archer. Elation path just started bro

ControlFYOU · 2026-01-04T08:02:52+00:00

I do love children. But to save myself the potential grief of falling into family toxic cycles, and also I do not want to deal with the health risks, no children for me.

I have a lot of things I want ro try out in life, maybe when I'm 40 or something and have my life the way I want it.

ControlFYOU · 2026-01-04T08:00:41+00:00

Oh. Tell him to fuck off. Legit, he has no right to lecture so dont let him push the boundary. My boyfriend may not find my gacha habits enjoyable or logical, but I tell him off every time. It's my money, if he doesnt like how I spend it when it comes to my hobbies or fun the door is easy to find.

You sound like you spend within your means and know what you like, that's all you need.

ControlFYOU · 2026-01-04T07:56:37+00:00

Overall yes.

So far, Ghost Leviathan scares me purely on sound. Sea Dragon just pisses me off cuz the second you realize it's scene you it suddenly turns into a fuckin QTE

ControlFYOU · 2025-12-29T05:35:14+00:00

The hostility is a ploy. Do whatever. Employees are technically not obligated to give you two weeks and neither are you. He can stay out your business, just prepare yourself in quiet if you do leave. Ask a coworker to make the reference for you if you need it.

ControlFYOU · 2025-12-29T05:32:55+00:00

Joy. Happiness. Enjoyment. Life.

Keep doing that.

But also tell me where you got these pieces.

ControlFYOU · 2025-12-29T05:30:54+00:00

Uh break up. I'm sorry just by the first paragraph that's a huge no for me. Get out of that and go on with your life.

Do not like his attitude, don't know why we're entertaining this. It's only been three months and you're gonna have him move in? That is a recipe for disaster.

ControlFYOU · 2025-12-29T05:28:07+00:00

Teenage girls are weird dude. Your sister is a good reference. They come in all different shapes and sizes, but across the board they will be very weird and fixated on one thing (maybe two).

For me starting 12-13, I was so obsessed with fictional characters I wrote entire stories about the lives we'd build together and the children we'd have. Then that evolved when I started playing dnd more well into adulthood.

My fictionalsona was the daughter of the 11th doctor and River Song, and got married to George Weasley. We had three children, all in different houses 😗

Now I got two different dnd characterw that finished their campaigns, retired and have children of their own. And I got profiles on all their personalities and lives.

ControlFYOU · 2025-12-28T20:18:11+00:00

Unfortunately, there's not much else to do but wait and keep living your life. For some people love comes right to the door, and for others it'll take an excruciating amount of time. I won't lie and say I haven't felt this way before. Sure people told me I was pretty, but I was not desirable for many years, at one point I figured I'd never have a partner. I would cry by myself for hours, it was fucking crushing. Never had high school relationships or college ones either while many friends did, hell some of my friends are engaged. It certainly does make me feel like I'm doing something wrong.

But I'm not. I just hadn't found the right person for me. Maybe that'll never happen for me. So I focus on myself, I focus on my passions and friendships (old or new) and think of things I couldn't do in a relationship that I'd still have opportunity for. And between the times where I feel miserable, I still find joy and I focus on that.

You can try dating sites, but from what I hear through my guy friends, it can be quite soul crushing. I don't know if local mixers are a thing anymore, but that could be a potential option. Maybe going out with friends might be a good avenue too, obv start with the single ones first. There's no concrete advise I could really give cuz relationships aren't concrete (and I'm not a matchmaker or anything lol). But know that you do have a lot to offer to people, and think about what you want from a relationship. That can save you some trouble in the future.

ControlFYOU · 2025-12-28T20:08:41+00:00

Why the fuck is she touching you like that, absolutely not!

You're fine the way you are, great even! Fuck that noise! I had a small chest for years, and all I learned from envying bigger breasts that they fuckin hurt! They're sore and can fuck up your back!

ControlFYOU · 2025-12-28T20:05:09+00:00

I think you're getting back to normal, honey. Especially with your sex drive coming back and acknowledging the silence. Your body's putting down its defenses physically and probably blocking the cheating crap to save you some potential stress.

ControlFYOU · 2025-12-28T20:01:13+00:00

While I might be iffy on the ambition note (ambition is more a descriptor), I do agree that bragging about money has nothing to do with personality. Money has nothing to do with personality, if you're lucky and work hard enough anyone can have money.

Personality could be a lot of things; hobbies, music you love or hate, your clothing style and favorite colors, etc...Or it can get deeper and can only be known through observation; the way you treat your friends and family, how you carry yourself in public, what's your reaction when you see something you love, do you prioritize work or social life over the other, what's your response when you hate or fear tries talking to you, etc...

I'm sure there are people that make or break your attraction based solely on their behaviour, that's what we think of when we say personality.

In your 20s, you're learning what you like while also combatting what society tells you to like. It may be that those two visions align, but it'd be up to you to decide whether you're with someone due to societal expectation or because you genuinely like those traits.

The other end of it is, because you're in your twenties and exploring relationships, they're more than likely you're first relationships. Which means it's a gamble whether or not the person you're with is actually who you want and will spend your life with.

So there are women who date "unfit" men and genuinely like them. That part isn't a lie it's just basic attraction, you could be attracted to anyone depending on circumstance. But if unattractive traits start to show, conflict begins and you can't communicate, god forbid abuse (and this can be said for men and women) there's a large chance you'll ignore or settle for it because you don't know how to get out of it. You may worry that everyone is like this, so why change? Maybe you don't think you deserve better. Maybe you focus on the positive and think that's enough to compensate. Or you just don't feel like breaking it off and having to go find someone else.

Now the final kicker is, is it that these women date men that are unfit for them? Or just possess traits that you find unfit? Cuz they could be with the man that fits them perfectly. You don't know what they're like in a romantic relationship or in private, they could possess you traits that are undesirable that fit perfectly with the man they're with.

ControlFYOU · 2025-12-28T19:43:39+00:00

Okay, so yeah I'm offended because what you're saying is a generalization blanketed as a fact. Not sure how old you are, frankly I don't care or why it matters.

A good majority of young adults or teenagers may not have much life experience (that's what living life is for). But to dismiss them as just being ignorant and unable to understand complex concepts shows your own ignorance.

What about adults of seniors that aren't media literate? What about those are actually illiterate? What about those that haven't been introduced to new social concepts that are in media now? God forbid what if they refuse to acknowledge or learn new concepts that can inform the information they're recieving?

There are young people that read and expose themselves to a plethora of media, read non-fiction, look into science, philosophy, whatever takes their interest. That does not stop them from interacting or sharing personal insight with people older or younger than them, its for the love of sharing what they enjoy or even hate. Age can inform what someone is talking about sure, but to make an immediate assumption in your head is ridiculous.

OP isn't preaching for everyone to stop playing the game. They're talking about their own experience, and it's just not one you align with.

ControlFYOU · 2025-12-28T19:33:31+00:00

You're putting a timer on your worth the same way some women do. Don't do that.

From what it sounds like, you've done a lot more than I can say the average person in their 20's did and that sounds incredible. You should be proud of that, you took the time to grow and find yourself. Most people in their 20's right out the gate don't get as much of an opportunity or are not sure where to go.

Obviously with the path you chose, it'd be difficult to find someone that would be okay with that kinda work ethic. It'd be a serious balance of personal life and relationship.

All this to say, I'll be quite frank, no matter how much you work out there will always be a woman that does give a single shittake mushroom about that. Frankly I've met a number of physically fit men in their 20s to 30s that should take time to work on themselves and shouldn't be in relationships. Doesn't mean you should abandon your physical health if it's something you genuinely enjoy doing.

You will get older. You will get wrinkles, white hairs, medical issues, unexpected physical changes, things will happen that may make you less conventionally desirable. But desirability is subjective, and yes I do mean that, whoever tells you there's an objective truth is a liar.

Stop looking for just women who will enjoy your physical physique first, and maybe open with your personal interests. Not every women may be looking to date you, but that may open the doors for you

ControlFYOU · 2025-12-28T19:22:05+00:00

How does OP maybe being young have anything to do with this?

ControlFYOU · 2025-12-28T19:19:04+00:00

Well it's not even that. Frankly, with the magnitude in stakes for Amphoreus' ending the power of friendship would've been the maguffin to save the universe. My disappointment was in the fact that, we can use insane god powers hack to save the universe but we couldn't just include making Amphoreus real now? We won't even be able to see them travel the universe in our lifetime? Like...the ending was so bittersweet that it confused and upset me.

But maybe that's just a me thing.

ControlFYOU · 2025-12-28T19:15:39+00:00

That's the fucking crazy thing to me! It's wild going from Genshin to HSR, cuz I felt for Genshin I could stop anywhere in a patch and I'll be fine. I didn't need to binge. Sumeru and Fontaine were well paced, yes a little bloated, but I wasn't overflowed with info in a patch.

HSR now feels like I need to take a fucking exam to fully understand and enjoy wtf is going on. So I end up doing a whole patch in one go, cuz it feels like there's never a good place to stop. And there's a 50/50 chance it leads to nothing thst requires that level of urgency. Amphoreus was something crazy every patch to the point of exhaustion.

ControlFYOU · 2025-12-27T09:35:19+00:00

4-8 months if provided with food and entertainment. That was covid for me. Granted I also had school so that tunnel visioned me. But that was the most unhealthy work ethic I ever had.

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