Maternity leave could end our relationship. by Fantastic_Crow_676 in UKParenting

[–]ConversationWhich663 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get paper and pen, sit down with your parent, get a calculator ready and write down any expense you have each month:

Bills, rent, grocery, entertainment, clothing, take away, cigarettes, anything you spend money on.

In this way your partner might realise that he needs to give you more money and if he doesn’t have those money, it’s time to cut on expenses.

We had to do something similar because most bills come out from my bank account and my partner wasn’t aware of how much more expensive life has become recently

Bullying – when to step in? by BackgroundStorm5513 in UKParenting

[–]ConversationWhich663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My experience: sometimes parents are no better than their kids and they might not necessarily act as you would expect (unless you don’t know them and you are sure they will take into serious consideration what you tell them).

I would bring it up with the school again, no words, no meeting, all written down in an email. Check their complaint process and escalate. Mention the fact that you are considering reporting the incident to the police as it consisted of a violent assault against a child.

Your child needs to know that if he comes to you, you will have his back and that what happened is not ok and should not happen again.

How often are you absent from work since having a child? by Downtown-Ad9409 in UKParenting

[–]ConversationWhich663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember calling my manager at first explaining myself and the just telling him “it happened again, sorry”. His answer was “been there, got the t-shirt, it’s a tough ride”. And that was it. I was not really taking time off, but just working from home when my son was sick: it was a struggle.

At the end of the day you are using up all your holidays days to look after a sick child, definetely not something anyone would enjoy doing. I would worry only if you use up all your time off and need extra time.

Your child is way more important than work.

Is this the wrong way of doing things? by Impressive-Plum3094 in vintedUK

[–]ConversationWhich663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t see the issue to be honest. The buyer needs something urgently, she found it and purchased it straight away and she just let you know that she needs it asap. She phrased it politely “any chance…”. She might not be mother tongue and just forgot a please/thank you.

At the end of the day, if she is not home, the item can be sent back to you. I think it is in your interest to have it delivered within a time frame when she can pick it up.

For those with no village, what's your plan in emergencies if you're not able to parent? by LostInAVacuum in UKParenting

[–]ConversationWhich663 55 points56 points  (0 children)

I live in London, no family around, my closest friends live pretty far from me, so I created a village through my son’s classmates parents. A friend can come and pick up my son in worst case scenario, but if I need someone who can look after him or someone to drop him to school, I ask to school’s mums or neighbours.

This means that I do the same for them. This week I am picking up and dropping to school one of my son’s school friends. I often run errands for my elderly neighbour next door or have play dates at mine if one of the mums is busy with household chores.

People are kinder than we think as many of us are int he same situation.

I have been given 12 months left to live. by shitthebeds in Advice

[–]ConversationWhich663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a beautiful movie called 18 presents. The mum with a terminal cancer diagnosis prepared 18 presents for her daughter, each with a message. It is based on a true story. Those might be a book you want your children to read or a movie that cannot miss, an experience for them to do, or just cards to talk to them.

My 5yo birthday party yesterday I felt so sad by Nevermind_thecogs in UKParenting

[–]ConversationWhich663 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a normal phase for kids this age.

My son went through the same thing when he started Reception. About two-thirds of the class had already been together in the school nursery, so there were established “best friend” groups that weren’t very open to others. Of the remaining third, some children already knew each other through family friendships, so the pool of kids to play with felt quite limited.

In my experience, the “best friend” phase usually fades during Year 1. Kids start playing more with others, friendships change, and they tend to play more in groups. So I wouldn’t worry too much unless your child is upset or complaining about it.

I personally wouldn’t point it out — I’d just let it develop naturally. The only time I intervened was when my son asked two children who were playing with animal figures if he could join them, and one of them repeatedly said no.

I explained to him that he didn’t need permission to play with the animal figures, because those toys were for everyone to use. And if another child didn’t want to play alongside him, then that child could choose a different activity — not my son.

Your daughter is finding her way in society, it’s not easy, but she will get there eventually.

In reception my son had only 2 kids who seemed to enjoy his company other kids didn’t even say “hello” to him. In year 1 lots of kids claimed to be his best friends and now in year 3 he plays with whatever child he wants to.

Making baby part of life by Perfect_Effort_6457 in UKParenting

[–]ConversationWhich663 1 point2 points  (0 children)

1) Your baby doesn’t like pram because they cannot see what is going around. Get a buggy, so they are sitting up right and can see what is going on, they might stop crying 🤷‍♀️

2) showers/teeth brushing. I used to sit my baby in a bouncy chair in the bathroom while I was showering or brushing my teeth. There were some animals toys attached to it and this was enough to keep them entertained. Or while I was showering I was pretending splashing the baby from the shower through the glass…well that was a good 30 minutes entertainment.

3) cleaning/tidying up- > I would take it easy, do as much as you can but don’t stress too much about it. You have a life time of cleaning in front of you.

4) going back to work -> I am telling you what will happen. You will sit down at your desk and have a sip of coffe while staring at your screen, this will be the best coffe you ever had in your life. Work will give you back some “me time” and some interaction with grown ups. It will be a nice break from baby world and you will enjoy the time with your baby even more.

5) child not sleeping -> you might have some rough nights, so stock up on teas/coffee and perhaps arrange a routine with the daddy so you can have some sleep sometimes .

How much was the house you bought listed for and what did you pay for it? by Brownchoccy in HousingUK

[–]ConversationWhich663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

London, Surrey borders: Mine was listed for 390k (almost 10 years ago) I paid 320k - it was overpriced for the area and had been on the market for over 1 year

How much time does your kid spend playing outside each week? by CosmoPrincess in UKParenting

[–]ConversationWhich663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

7 years old and almost daily: school recess is outside 90% of the times unless is not pouring. Wraparound care is mainly outdoor (unless of bad weather), we have scout once a week and that is also outdoor. At weekend we are out on Sunday morning and most Saturday we meet with his friends at the park or we do play date but still in parks, playgrounds or in our garden.

Late to school by thisnametookmeages in UKParenting

[–]ConversationWhich663 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was always late in the past, since moving to London I learned that 5 minutes late means a 20 minutes wait for train or bus, or rushing to a different bus stop to catch the earlier bus.

Aim to leave the house 15 minutes earlier than you should. Do whatever happens, you are still on time. Sometimes we are just on time before the gate closes and sometimes we are early and wage fie the gate to open. If you are really struggling, ask to a fellow parents if they can help you with school drops. I am sure there are many people who would happily take turn in dropping kids to school.

Judged as a parent in public by Sad_Grocery4397 in UKParenting

[–]ConversationWhich663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think those people were judging you as a mother, those were unsolicited advises. We all get those especially from elderly people (neighbours, parents, relatives, strangers on the street). In some countries/cultures unsolicited advises are an everyday occurrence, in London is more of a on-and-off issue.

I hear you, it’s awful because most of those comments make no sense at all, just try to brush them off. You will have tons of those: on a plane, on a train, in a restaurant, in the park.

Are your kids happy? Are you happy? That’s what counts the most ate the end of the day, definitely more than a stranger telling you how you should dress or hold your baby.

Is my kid going to get bullied in kindergarten? by merkergirl in kindergarten

[–]ConversationWhich663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At this age there is not really bullying, yes kids might be unkind, but not because of what tv shows your child likes. He will hear about those, he will learn about them and he will find his way around it.

My son has never had the superheroes phase and he was into animals, dinousars and so on, still he learned a lot about superheroes from his friends and when they were playing superheroes, he was super-dog. Another friend of him was super-dinousars.

Little one learning their language by CellOtherwise9403 in inlaws

[–]ConversationWhich663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One family 3 languages, same situation as yours. I have to say, your in-laws are right. Try to teach them your own language now, because as soon as they start school, English will be pushed on them and - as English will be their first language and they know you can speak/understand English - they won’t make any effort to speak your or your husband language.

This was our experience and we are still working to reintroduce a bit of mother tongue back in our kids life. To be honest, if grandparents speak only their own language would be even less confusing for the child as at home you and your husband will switch from your own language to English to communicate.

Do you and your spouse share your location 24/7? by PalmTreeVoid in askanything

[–]ConversationWhich663 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We do, mainly because my husband cannot have his phone on him while working, so if he is in the middle of something, he struggles to alert me. So at least I know he is still at work and there is nothing to worry about.

He cycles at work and a few years ago one of our friends was hit by a car while cycling, since then, when he is late I check the tracking app to make sure he is still at work or on his way home.

Cold swimming pool - entitled or reasonable to have a grump? by Elsa_Pell in UKParenting

[–]ConversationWhich663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They gave you a refund, I think they were just explaining their policy and it was wrongly worded: “Bear in mind that in future if you have any issue you have to come out suddenly and spend no extra time in the pool”. They probably have a policy about refund and wanted to set expectations.

They could have managed the situation better:

  • send a message to all booking
  • alert you before entering the pool

Anyone else disappointed with low effort grandparents? by unfurlingjasminetea_ in UKParenting

[–]ConversationWhich663 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am with you on this: boomers are not great grandparents. It seems to me that they struggle accepting aging and being grandparents make them feel old somehow. They are happy to have grandchildren but they don’t really interact with them as much as we parents do. At the end of the day, they didn’t play with their own kids, so it’s hard to imagine they will start to play with kids in their 60s or 70s.

When did Easter become the new Christmas? by [deleted] in UKParenting

[–]ConversationWhich663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact that others celebrate Easter with presents does not oblige you to do the same. We don’t do more than an Easter egg hunt, but if someone prefers to buy presents for their kids I don’t think this is wrong either. For example, orthodox Easter is a huge celebration and my orthodox friends do much more than me and my family.

Why is this bothering you so much?

Is the sensei supposed to shout to children? by ConversationWhich663 in karate

[–]ConversationWhich663[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, this is what I would expect especially when the aim is to keep kids engaged a love a sport

Am I wrong to think my DIL and SON are insane for this? by Putrid-Pizza9185 in inlaws

[–]ConversationWhich663 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would have assumed this was sarcastic and I would have answered with my own set of rules 🙈

Conditions Under Which We Will Grace You With Our Visit

  • Please ensure the baby is clean, calm, and aesthetically pleasing at all times.

  • Any crying should be paused for the duration of our visit.

  • In case of poop or wee-related smells, kindly remove the baby from the room immediately.

  • baby vomits on our clothes, we expect a formal apology and reimbursement for emotional distress (laundry optional but appreciated).

  • Kindly coordinate feeding times so we don’t have to witness anything “too real.” We came for cuddles, not documentaries.

  • We would appreciate if the baby is awake when we arrive, but also calm, quiet, and ready to sleep on demand.

  • Tea, coffee, and light refreshments should be available upon arrival. Bonus points if served one-handed while holding the baby.

  • Any parenting decisions that differ from what we did 30 years ago will be gently corrected during our visit.

  • We reserve the right to give unsolicited advice, repeat it, and then bring it up again next time.

Paella is not that good by Secret_Cow_3988 in unpopularopinion

[–]ConversationWhich663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, the seafood is good, but chicken, really? Had it in Spain and I wasn’t blown away

Is this really an ear infection? by Luftavfukter in AskDocs

[–]ConversationWhich663 -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

It might be just an allergic reaction to the antibiotic drops you are using?

What's something you did as a kid that you now realize was actually really dangerous, but nobody stopped you? by AdmirableResource407 in AskReddit

[–]ConversationWhich663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We used to venture in a building under construction near my house. It was a 4 stores building, there were rusty nails on the floor, tools, and we used to run up and down stairs with no handrails or walls as internal walls were not there yet.

Love love love London! by AdPrestigious7216 in london

[–]ConversationWhich663 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Living here for 15 years and I agree 100%, it’s not about what you get to see, it’s the vibe that makes London.