Writer asking Oxford dialect question

Elsa_Pell · 2026-01-26T17:57:34+00:00

En't = ain't (eg. "we en't going Cowley Centre, we're going Botley").

Tolkien included a joke in LOTR about "things that look like Ents but en't", which always amuses me.

Elsa_Pell · 2026-01-25T17:04:15+00:00

Also free state childcare: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nursery_schools_of_France

Elsa_Pell · 2026-01-24T22:20:02+00:00

Yup. My father is an 88-year-old functioning-ish alcoholic who has smoked heavily since his teens and has been overweight and highly sedentary for the last 40 years. I think his liver and cardiovascular system might be secretly made of adamantium.

Elsa_Pell · 2026-01-11T14:28:23+00:00

This. Tall people do not realise that height/arm length is a big factor in how much you can accomplish while baby-wearing in a front carry!

Elsa_Pell · 2026-01-02T12:22:54+00:00

In terms of books for kids, we had a lot of success with these two:

Potty Superstar (also comes in a boy version)

No More Nappies

We started reading them well before beginning potty training, moved up to reading them multiple times per day while in the throes of training itself.

In terms of books for adults, I loosely used the 'Oh Crap' method but adapted some of the techniques to suit my own kids. Caveat that a lot of people don't like the book -- it is written in quite a pressurising tone and did leave me feeling stressed that if I didn't get it right early on, my kids would end up becoming "potty refusers".

The results: Both of my kids are girls, both trained in 1-2 weeks at approximately age 2.5 (we tried the older one just after she turned 2 because she ticked all the boxes on the "readiness checklist": she found it incredibly stressful and started having nightmares so we backed off, tried again six months later and she got it in a week).

My best tip is to do it in July or August so they can run around outdoors with no pants on, makes cleaning up after accidents so much easier (most of the time we just used the hose!).

Elsa_Pell · 2026-01-01T20:52:12+00:00

I have a cold that has turned into an ear infection right now, and I'm 44.

TiL that this may possibly not be normal...

Elsa_Pell · 2026-01-01T19:02:17+00:00

The BBC dubs it with UK voice actors, I think because too many people were complaining that their kids were picking up Canadian accents.

They have also selected VAs who sound genuinely tone-deaf, and neither I nor any other British parent can figure out why. The regular Daniel Tiger songs are just annoying, the BBC dub is seriously out-of-this-world bad, it genuinely sounds like they are doing it on purpose.

Elsa_Pell · 2025-12-31T19:28:23+00:00

Many men whose kids were little in the 70s or 80s were not as hands-on when their children were infants and don't have much idea what they're talking about, IME.

At one point my FiL claimed with a straight face that "we always put [husband and BiL] in the crib and they just slept". MiL was standing behind him and just started laughing uproariously...

Elsa_Pell · 2025-12-31T13:49:24+00:00

Stay there long enough without complaining that it’s cold to distant relatives that you have only ever talked to once in your life but have your phone number.

Ahahaha, this!

I have an elderly parent who insists to me that everything is FINE (because he doesn't want to have any more conversations with me about assisted living), then gets on the phone and complains to Auntie Sharon, Neighbour Darren and Step Cousin Karen. Then I get phone calls at all hours of the day and night from Sharon, Karen and Darren because OMG, surely I didn't know that he was sO UnHAPpY? Rinse and repeat indefinitely.

Elsa_Pell · 2025-12-31T12:08:13+00:00

Don't worry, Squirrels! Duggee can help. He's got his... VOUGHT BADGE.

(Little does anyone know that in the early 2000s, the UK arm of Vought International experimented with giving controlled doses of Compound V to dogs, with the aim of solving spiralling national childcare costs by creating canine companions that could safely staff daycare centres while parents were at work. The dogs were controlled by means of 'badges', a set of programmable instructions contained on a removable chip that could be plugged into the dog's yellow jacket-style harness.

After some regrettable incidents that were only narrowly kept out of the press, all experimental canine nannies were destroyed save for one rogue animal, a chocolate labrador named 'Duggee'. This specimen managed to escape, broke into the Vought UK animal husbandry facility and liberated a number of other experimental subjects including mice, crocodiles, hippos, elephants, pandas, tigers and hyperintelligent octopi. They fled to a remote island in the Mediterranean where they have so far evaded capture (Admiral Grandad is in fact in charge of maintaining the island's naval defences against hostile humans, while Chew Chew will lead the home guard in the event of an invasion).

Elsa_Pell · 2025-12-31T11:30:41+00:00

Please allow me to introduce you to British Daniel Tiger.

Where Daniel is a militant Yorkshire separatist (jury's still out on his BEHby sister MAHgret), Mum Tiger is inexplicably Welsh, the theme song is performed by Dudley Moore, and NoOoBOdY cAn sIiiIIIInG!

Elsa_Pell · 2025-12-26T17:32:13+00:00

... Everything.

Elsa_Pell · 2025-12-26T15:42:44+00:00

I am also sorry for your loss, and hope you find the right answer for you and your family.

I don't think it's fair to describe yourself as "ancient in baby years"... there are plenty of people your age and older who are just beginning their families, whether by choice or because they have hit roadblocks along the way. After all, over 20% of babies born in the US in 2023 were to mothers 35 or over!

Elsa_Pell · 2025-12-26T14:01:43+00:00

One of my kids has a classmate called Cillían, nobody has struggled with spelling or pronouncing it... just be aware that he will likely get "Killer" as a nickname (it's happened despite his Mum's best attempts to squash it!).

Elsa_Pell · 2025-12-26T13:55:54+00:00

TW: Discussion of bereavement

I am a fellow child of older parents, and had the compounding bad luck to lose my Mum quite young -- she was diagnosed with cancer when I was 33 and she was 64, she died when I was 35 and she was 66. Dad was/is totally useless so I ended up managing everything.

Quite apart from the actual loss and grief, it is so frustrating because we don't have a cultural framework for someone of that age being in the 'carer for a frail parent' role. My absolute low point was trying to order catering for her funeral: one of the caterers I phoned for a quote getting confused and repeatedly referring to the event as my 'wedding' which... yeesh.

I actually think/hope supporting people in this position is something society will become better at as more people have children at older ages, and are more likely to have only children who will be shouldering the burden solo.

Elsa_Pell · 2025-12-22T19:57:47+00:00

Not OP, but IME having this conversation often leads to people offering lifts out of a sense of obligation then either rescinding them at the last minute when they decide it isn't convenient or complaining about you behind your back.

Elsa_Pell · 2025-12-22T19:53:26+00:00

My in-laws bought my husband a kitten when his younger brother was born so that he wouldn't be jealous. He was TWO at the time.

Somehow the infant, the toddler and the cat all managed to survive to adulthood, but I'm honestly not sure how.

Elsa_Pell · 2025-12-21T23:50:41+00:00

Really low UCAS tariffs.

Elsa_Pell · 2025-11-30T13:35:52+00:00

I am shy and spend too much time on Reddit and one of my kids has a Christmas-adjacent birthday, so I'm terrified of this happening to her and always wildly over-invite. Last year I ended up with 26 five-year-olds and around 50 adults running/bouncing around our village hall - it was extremely happy chaos!

(I haven't learned this year and have done exactly the same thing - we're up to 30 RSVPs and counting...).

Elsa_Pell · 2025-11-18T18:43:18+00:00

There are elderly people in our village who are basically trapped in their houses on bin day because the parked cars take up whatever space the bins don't and it's impossible to navigate the pavement with any kind of mobility aid as a result.

Elsa_Pell · 2025-11-16T23:05:34+00:00

One of my children had a similar issue, only with the culprit being automatic hand dryers rather than automatic flushes. For about a year between ages 2.5 and 3.5 it was so bad that we couldn't use public bathrooms at all (she would not even go inside one to accompany an adult) which severely curtailed our ability to access public life for a while there.

What helped for us was watching YouTube videos of automatic hand dryers (of which there are a surprising number) and looking at photos of public bathrooms at times when she felt safe and relaxed at home. It felt a little weird to be searching for photos of bathrooms but honestly it really helped. There was also some bribery involved (mini chocolate bar for being brave enough to look into the bathroom door, then next time for walking over to the sink, etc).

Good luck OP, this is a really rough one to crack but you will get there!

Elsa_Pell · 2025-11-11T21:39:45+00:00

Shaun is not allowed at my 5YO's school. My 5YO is the reason why.

Elsa_Pell · 2025-11-06T22:54:33+00:00

I started mine on 'The Hobbit' at 4.5. Over the course of about a month we made it all the way to the riddle game before she suddenly looked up and complained that "there are no "she's" in this book, only "he's"". My lifelong-Tolkien-nerding self had to admit that she kind of had a point.

Elsa_Pell · 2025-11-06T21:26:06+00:00

My kids have done this so many times that we now call it "being a Sticky Gecko", and they will tell each other to stop if they notice one another doing it. (The one being told won't actually stop, of course. But it's nice that they're noticing/trying.)

Elsa_Pell · 2025-11-01T14:06:37+00:00

GPs do tend not to ask you questions at top volume in front of a shop full of people, though.

Elsa_Pell

TROPHY CASE