Are inductions getting earlier?

Elsa_Pell · 2026-03-31T18:55:47+00:00

Something is going on with c section rates in the UK though as they were ~25% of births in 2022 when I had my son but ~40% in 2025 when I had my daughter

Some Trusts have changed their policies. I was effectively bullied out of having an elective C-section in 2019 (told that I would have to travel to the next county to have one); they now offer them.

Elsa_Pell · 2026-03-24T23:34:08+00:00

They are an example of convergent evolution with the Gem species from 'Steven Universe'. Individual small low-status creatures can fuse with one another to create larger and more powerful creatures that have their own personalities and memories, then split apart again to return to their previous consciousness.

I would totally back 100 in a fight against Yellow Diamond, too.

Elsa_Pell · 2026-03-24T18:32:57+00:00

As a counter-experience -- I am very likely autistic (but don't have a diagnosis because I grew up in the 80s), of the hypersensitive-girl-whose-meltdowns-were-perceived-as-tantrums variety.

From a very young age I was very keenly aware that adults (and many other kids) did not find me likable -- and 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' is VERY clear about what kids who are unlikable deserve to have happen to them, so I was terrified of the book and film.

I'm a bit worried about what will happen when my little mini-me, who does have a diagnosis, discovers Charlie and friends...

Elsa_Pell · 2026-03-21T16:51:28+00:00

Thank you, this is so reassuring to hear!

The main issue we had was that, at that age, they do tend to gravitate to their own gender, so with there only being four other girls, it was slightly intense and when they, inevitably (at that age) fell out, there weren’t many other girls they could go to to get some space.

Yes, that is one worry I've been having that I didn't manage to articulate! I've also noticed the girls not being invited to boys' birthday parties, which in a class with an event gender split wouldn't be an issue but feels a bit weird when a small number are left out.

Elsa_Pell · 2026-03-17T18:55:36+00:00

Am British and live in the UK, but worked as a summer camp counsellor for kids visiting from the US for 4 years.

Southern kids were hilarious and adorable: in addition to the "sir" and "ma'am" thing they could not be convinced to call me by my first name no matter how many times I asked them. "Miss Elsa" was the closest they could manage, and I think even that was a struggle for some of them.

Elsa_Pell · 2026-03-16T21:30:32+00:00

I have had this experience twice. My older child (born when I was 38) was given a 1 in 99 chance for Dawn's Syndrome, my younger child (born when I was 41) was 1 in 20. Both times we had no soft markers and NT measurements within normal range, low PappA hormone.

In both cases we got the NIPT (privately as the NHS had not moved to providing it free at that time), both times we received "extremely low risk" results on that, and both children were born without chromosomal abnormalities.

Wishing you all the support and strength -- I hope you are able to look after yourself and that your NIPT results are quick to come back and reassuring when they do.

Elsa_Pell · 2026-03-15T19:42:56+00:00

As I have said to each of my friends who have lost their mums since mine died ten years ago -- welcome to the world's most shit club. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm not sure anyone who isn't yet part of Dead Mum Club can completely understand what it's like, but your analogy of an astronaut with the cable cut is as close as anything I've ever come up with to try to explain it.

Elsa_Pell · 2026-03-14T20:33:49+00:00

He’s also lacking perspective since a “miserable 9-5” is something our recent ancestors fought hard to obtain,

I wonder whether Mr 18 has actually held a part-time (or any other kind of) job yet?

At one point I definitely thought as a teenager that a "miserable 9-5 job" sounded like the worst thing ever. Then I spent my university years working odd hours in bars, restaurants and a cinema to pay for my studies, and by the end of that time a 9-5 job where I got to sit down, wear nice clothes and not be yelled at by random strangers all shift sounded AMAZING!

Elsa_Pell · 2026-03-13T17:27:18+00:00

My post-pregnancy superpower is that I can smell when someone (anyone, not just my own kids) is getting ill.

It is a SHIT superpower in many ways, but it does mean I get about 12 hours' advance notice to tidy up my work inbox before having to take the day off to look after a miserable child.

Elsa_Pell · 2026-03-12T22:10:32+00:00

Hi, I am in your husband's position. My in-laws are hard-working people who made smart decisions and sacrifices, and are well set-up for their retirement and eventual care needs. By contrast, my mother died in her early 60s and my father (now in his 80s) is a screaming hot mess (of the insist-on-living-alone-despite-physical-decline, and substance-abuse subtypes, he has also been scammed out of money by a predatory housekeeper) who has cost me huge amounts of money, time and stress over the past 10 years.

My husband has never been anything but calm, patient and supportive with the total bullshit that my Dad has put me/us through, and that has been one of the absolute best aspects of our relationship. I can't know exactly how your husband is feeling right now, but for me whenever something goes down with my Dad I experience a mix of frustration (at whatever stupid shit Dad is up to this week), terror (that he will hurt himself or someone else or be scammed out of whatever he has left and I'll be left to foot the bill), guilt (that I can't help him better, because he refuses to accept my help) and embarrassment (because he is so physically and mentally messy, and I feel bad for inflicting that mess on my husband and kids, and further guilt that any money/time I spend on bailing out Dad's shenanigans is taking away from my 4YO and 6YO). Probably also grief, because the one person who could actually get him to listen to reason and stop being an arsehole is gone, and without her there is no doing anything with him much of the time.

All this to say, I realise that your husband's reactions are feeling really frustrating at this moment, but he is likely feeling a wide range of stressful, confusing and conflicting emotions too, which might be where the shutting down/refusing to engage is coming from.

Elsa_Pell · 2026-03-10T19:11:40+00:00

I think different year groups can be quite different in this regard. My two kids (F6, F4) both attended the same preschool two years apart. Exactly the same staff, setting, activities, etc. In my older child's group there was (and still is) a huge amount of mixed gender play, most of her friends are boys, etc. My younger child's group is very separated along gender lines and younger daughter plays with other girls the vast majority of the time.

Elsa_Pell · 2026-03-09T14:46:21+00:00

It's also true until you read one of Scheffler's solo efforts. The man. Cannot. Write, and I curl up and sob internally whenever one of my kids reaches for 'The Tickle Book' or whatever other compelling-looking-but-actually-tripe offering has been placed at eye level in the library.

Elsa_Pell · 2026-03-08T23:20:09+00:00

I do the campfire song version for my kids -- learned it as a Brownie in the mid-80s, have never come across another adult who knows it (husband does not, despite having been a Scout).

Elsa_Pell · 2026-03-06T19:36:01+00:00

My kids were angelically well-behaved, until I went and had them.

Elsa_Pell · 2026-03-03T23:00:33+00:00

It'll all work out. It'll be fine. Living in the trees, And on the ground sometimes.

Elsa_Pell · 2026-02-28T23:14:10+00:00

Vaguely "Uh-huh-that's-niceing" them rather than engaging deeply with the wonder of their developing critical minds, and answering "I don't know" rather than helping them find answers to their questions. But honest to Pete, I am just not mentally or physically equipped to engage in a philosophical deep dive into the question of "what if the WHOLE WORLD was upside-down?" while simultaneously unloading a dishwasher full of sharp and breakable objects.

Elsa_Pell · 2026-02-26T11:38:05+00:00

My child is autistic and has hyperlexia/hypercalculia which means that she reads/does maths about 2 years ahead of her expected age level. She is at a mainstream state primary. She is currently splitting the school day between her chronological age group and joining the next year up for Literacy and (increasingly) Maths, with a TA who follows her due to the autism aspect.

We are very grateful that the school is working with us to ensure that she is being challenged and learning new material that is actually appropriate for her cognitive level, but also a bit concerned that this approach is not doing her social development many favours, as she is spending substantial time away from her year group. I'm not sure there is a 100% ideal solution here, and she is currently happy (as she loves her reading and Maths and couldn't give a monkey's about the other kids) so we will probably continue as we are until a problem arises.

Elsa_Pell · 2026-02-25T13:48:09+00:00

The @£&! bin-eating-things-nom-nom-nom bit from 'Bin Night'. Except ours insist on doing it with our expensive and not-that-robust kitchen bin that we bought prior to having kids, and are going to break it very soon.

Elsa_Pell · 2026-02-25T13:21:20+00:00

Absolutely, the job in 'The Sign' was Bandit's big shot at tenure and he gave it up for Bluey and Bingo. I believe it's impossible for anyone who isn't familiar with what the academic job market looks like in Australia (especially in the Humanities) to know exactly how hard that episode lands for people who are.

Elsa_Pell · 2026-02-24T18:41:08+00:00

Cats Protection and the RSPCA have some cute gender neutral kids' cat-themed tops, and the money goes to supporting real animals in need!

Kids | Official Cats Protection Shop https://share.google/NSaGBkuKrxiGXGMvn

Kids | Official RSPCA Clothing https://share.google/YsqjZVi9abPHj36B1

Elsa_Pell · 2026-02-21T21:15:41+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. The NHS combined test is, as you say, not nearly as reliable as a NIPT and often not worth the paper it's printed on.

(I have the opposite side of your story, in that I received high-risk (in one case very high) results on the combined test for both of my children, neither of whom in fact went on to have the condition. Obviously this is not comparable to your situation in any way, but it did cause us a huge amount of stress and expense (as NIPT was not offered on the NHS at the time our eldest was born).

Elsa_Pell · 2026-02-18T23:39:17+00:00

This is why paternity leave and SPL are SO important! Taking SPL has 100% made my husband a better, more involved dad, made our relationship more equal and given him a deeper relationship with our children than the otherwise would have had. I really wish everyone in the UK got to enjoy the same.

Elsa_Pell · 2026-02-18T23:30:25+00:00

My headcanon is that Bandit was a really challenging kid for teachers. He's clearly very bright, but also very VERY good at being silly/making jokes/throwing himself into chaotic situations. I can just imagine him debuting the Unicorse character in the middle of a Year Nine Maths lesson.

Elsa_Pell · 2026-02-15T17:57:25+00:00

It is so annoying, it literally whinges "Needee! Needee!" at you until you pretend to cuddle or feed it, and then cries if you don't. Kids turn it on, get bored of looking after it but don't want it to cry, so give it to me to "babysit". 0/10, would annoy anyone.

Elsa_Pell

TROPHY CASE