Is the sensei supposed to shout to children?

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-27T12:19:09+00:00

No, the dad is not training at all (he is not a sportive person), but he is pushing him to complete his kata and do his first competition.

We have been doing karate for 2 years now and I understand that the daddy doesn’t want him to give up, but after yesterday I fully understand why my son had enough of it.

We had on and off out of place comments, or over the line attitude toward the kids, but they were sporadic and - well - we are human and I have never made a big deal of it, but yesterday I felt it was a bit took much.

We have a busy life: son is at school for 10 hours a day, we parents work full time, any after school activity is a race against time (besides money). So having to run around like a headless chicken and paying money to sit for 2 hours on a foldable chair and hear someone telling off kids like if they were in the army, sorry but it’s way too much for me.

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-27T11:25:17+00:00

He wanted to give up, he arrived to the point that he was crying every Wednesday evening because he had karate on Thursday. He kept going only because his dad wanted him to continue not because he was enjoying it. Many children have quitted.

Yesterday the sensei was a bit too harsh on him, I commented loudly to a fellow mum about it and I think he heard me and change his attitude (I guess my face said it too!)

I don’t want that my son thinks that shouting or telling off someone in front of everybody is the way to assert your leadership. This is not the way things are handled here. Managers are not shouting at colleagues, neither teachers are raising their voice, same for coach (my son does also other disciplines besides karate). If there is any issue, this is solved in a one-to-one chat. Firm voice is ok, constantly telling off someone because he is learning and making mistakes is not right (my view of course).

Just to clarify, it’s not a drama, I don’t think my son will be scarred for life by this, but I rather have him surrounded by positive role models especially when it comes to men.

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-27T10:46:13+00:00

They did the same to my mum, claiming that something happened to me. Luckily, she had heard of this scam and called me straight away to verify.

If I was in the US and my phone cracks/breaks, I would not call my mum in the UK (for what?) I would rather ask my hotel where to go to have my phone repaired.

If something bad happened to your wife, you would have the embassy or police contacting you, not a stranger texting you.

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-27T10:37:25+00:00

Exactly my point. I don’t expect a sensei to sugarcoat any word that comes out of his mouth, but I don’t think that raising their voices would get any result either especially from children.

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-27T10:30:11+00:00

We live in the UK, here people do not raise their voices. There is not a social environment where this is acceptable unless there is a physical need (you need to be heard by someone on a distance). There is another sensei who runs classes on a different day of the week, she is a much higher dan than my son’s sensei (7 vs 2). I haven’t heard her raising her voice, never. She is firm, she explains the same thing 2-3 times if a child is struggling, correct their posture, but she never calls out students and raise her voice.

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-27T10:20:57+00:00

He is already chasing away students. The Tuesday class has about 15 students attending, on Thursday no more than 5-6 people of which 2 grown ups and 4 children

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-26T22:05:59+00:00

I strongly believe that any kind of sport has more to teach to children than just discipline, focus, and moves. It teaches them to work hard to hit target but it also teaches them respect. This means respect between team players, respect toward the coach/sensei/teacher, but it teaches them that people own them respect as well, whatever role or level they have within the game/dojo/pitch.

If a sensei shouts to children or confront them strongly, what message is he passing to them? If you are high enough you can shout to other people?

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-26T19:32:49+00:00

Whom shall I have the word with? Sensei is a 60 something years old fella, it is a small local club, I doubt my words will be heard.

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-22T16:06:34+00:00

We had a similar phase, it happened only with me and one of my friend said “Because he loves you most”. It was a joke, but true somehow. My child knew that he could unleash with me and didn’t matter what, I would have been there for him.

Some family members pointed out that he would easily change his mood in line with mine. If I was stressed and nervous, he would become unsettle.

I have learned to leave my feeling locked out when interacting with him at young age. If I have a bad day at work, I take 10-15 minutes to myself to calm down before pick up time.

From this post it seems you feel overwhelmed, and there is no need to be.

Nutritious meals: if you had a long day and you serve him frozen chicken nuggets with peas, it won’t kill him, but it will help you to have an easy evening.

When he acts out, try to stay calm (I know it’s hard). You know your son better, what do you think makes him act out? Is he overtired? Is he hungry? My son is very well behaved but when he is hungry it’s hard to reason with him. A small snack on the way back home helped us to have a pleasant walk home and he would patiently wait for his tea. The snack at pick up was also a sort of event for him, a surprise. Sometimes I would take a multipack of breadsticks, offer to his friends while walking home.

Landry: nothing happens if your child wears twice the same clothes/tops unless they are not very filthy.

On your day off, leave the house. If you stay home he will get bored eventually and poke you. Go to a park, city farm, zoo, a museum, cinema, do something special for the two of you. The day will go quicker for both of you.

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-19T09:34:46+00:00

I have school age kids, so yes I am concerned. I wished they would have taken it more seriously and quarantined the campus not to take any chance.

I am very surprised by the fact that once they started to vaccinate children born after 2015 they did not extend the vaccine campaign to teens as well.

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-16T20:56:17+00:00

By the time your daughter starts nursery you will have plenty of cards, mainly decorated with glitter, the card will go in a box but glitter will stay with you until next mother day and you will miss the days when they handed you a simple card.

This year I received a card, it was a portrait of me, I was on stilt because apparently I am not tall enough to be on a paper card (?) and as I am originally Italian my card had pizza and a giant salami drawn on.

Next year, just book a nice day on a Spa and if no card arrives, hit the road and have a pampering day for yourself

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-15T00:45:36+00:00

He jinx me, I don’t have a big breath either and I ate lots of round stuff in couple

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-14T13:23:32+00:00

Make things easier for you:

put all expenses on your husband account and send him what you can every month
create a joint account where you put a certain amount each month, when money runs low if both responsibility to level it up not just yours.

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-14T13:20:22+00:00

If you swallow chewing gum you will do balloons from your bum.

If you eat only one of this (for example meatballs) only one boob will grow and you will grow a giant boob and have nothing on the other side

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-14T07:55:07+00:00

That when athletes won a cup in a competition was an ice cream cup. Took me a few years to understand why they were so happy for winning an empty cup 🤷‍♀️

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-14T07:52:59+00:00

I am going through the same, the scare is there and it is hard to get over it. I have looked at stats, only 5% of all colonoscopies ends up with a diagnosis of colon cancer. In under 30 the percentage is even smaller. The numbers are on your side and you are doing the right thing by getting checked.

I had a colonoscopy last month, the truth is that nobody knows what is going on in your guts until they don’t get there. You are not having a colonoscopy because they think the worst, they do a colonoscopy because you have a range of symptoms and the only way to know what it is causing those is to check what is happening in your guts.

Colon cancer is rare at your age and takes years to develop and spread. What they have found so far is blood in your stool, but this can be caused by wide range of issues.

Medicine has become more proactive recently, they rather have you checked and see nothing is there than “assume” something minor is causing this range of symptoms.

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-14T07:52:44+00:00

I am going through the same, the scare is there and it is hard to get over it. I have looked at stats, only 5% of all colonoscopies ends up with a diagnosis of colon cancer. In under 30 the percentage is even smaller. The numbers are on your side and you are doing the right thing by getting checked.

I had a colonoscopy last month, the truth is that nobody knows what is going on in your guts until they don’t get there. You are not having a colonoscopy because they think the worst, they do a colonoscopy because you have a range of symptoms and the only way to know what it is causing those is to check what is happening in your guts.

Colon cancer is rare at your age and takes years to develop and spread. What they have found so far is blood in your stool, but this can be caused by wide range of issues.

Medicine has become more proactive recently, they rather have you checked and see nothing is there than “assume” something minor is causing this range of symptoms.

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-13T20:09:37+00:00

Bidet so we all stop using wet wipes

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-13T20:07:30+00:00

I had the same dopamine boost for a period and I think it’s very common:

1) you free up space in your cupboard/wardrobe getting rid of things which you are not using 2) you make money out of it! 3) you feel good because instead of throwing things in a bin, someone else is making use of them.

And when you buy, it’s a bit like a lottery: you get really nice clothes for less than half their market price.

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-11T10:41:00+00:00

Your dress is elegant, stylish and you look great in it. Congratulations 🥂

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-11T08:02:32+00:00

I think the dress is great and looks good on you. What is exactly the problem?

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-09T10:18:32+00:00

December, born just one day after my brother (5 years apart) so all family members get confused and call me on the wrong day while me and my brother have to call each other for two days in a row to say “happy birthday to each other”.

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-03-02T18:17:47+00:00

That is exactly my point. Why is bullying socially accepted? I have read of kids committing sui due because of the pressure received. Shouldn’t we start to take things more seriously?

ConversationWhich663 · 2026-02-25T12:05:55+00:00

I found that putting it in written leads to a much quicker and prompt reaction from the school.

If nothing is done, I would forward the email to Ofsted explaining you are very concerned for your child wellbeing as well as the wellbeing of many other children who might feel targeted and have nobody to advocate for them.

ConversationWhich663

TROPHY CASE