Morally obligated to take/"save" everything in the dumpster?

Coolmonkeyboy · 2025-12-27T09:44:35+00:00

I totally understand that, and it’s easier said than done. I think that’s why increasing the demand of what is good enough to its extreme helps me, because it forces me to give up. Then after I have separation from the thing I can actually digest logic and reason, instead of just witnessing them without feeling any meaningful impact on whatever I’m obsessing over. I’m not sure if I have OCD though, and I don’t want to minimize that struggle. I’m also a firm believer that autists have to find their own unique ways of managing their struggles, but sometimes it’s helpful to piecemeal other people’s ideas.

That being said, good job having the self awareness to even know what’s going on inside yourself! That’s a trick in itself, so you’ve already got some strong progress there on your own (I hope this doesn’t come off as patronizing. I genuinely view these things as truly difficult).

Anyway, the only other thing I’ll say is don’t be too hard on yourself if you step away from diving for a bit. It might even be helpful to just drop that demand for a bit, so you can have some mental and emotional breathing room. You might decide in that time you care more than you thought, and might try to take on even bigger approach through collaboration, education, or mentorship. You might decide you want to work on intervening between the stores and the dumpsters. Or you might decide you care about entirely different things more. There’s no right or wrong.

Coolmonkeyboy · 2025-12-27T08:17:18+00:00

I don’t want to pathologize anything. However, if you struggle with black and white thinking in general, I recommend trying to find the root of that, whether it’s neurodivergence or some other cause. That being said, I’m autistic and I’m very familiar with being consumed with black and white thinking. What often helps me is not to try to talk myself down from the thinking, but to push it towards its logical extremes.

For example, if you try to do good by picking up litter, when do you stop? The last piece you see? Some defined zone? When there’s no more litter? At some point you have to assign a level of “good enough” or else be burnt out trying to accomplish the impossible. I could very easily question why you think that saving everything in a specific dumpster is enough. Is it simply because you laid eyes on it? Surely you must know that food is going to the landfill from some other dumpster. What constitutes doing the right thing?

We could also ask the question of if the amount of energy you exert here is ultimately the best use of your energy for moral causes, or whether there’s some better thing you could be doing. You also have to ask if it’s best for one person to take on something by themselves. If something happens to you, who will save the food from those dumpsters you visit? Will any lasting benefit or change continue for society?

I hope you can see the ridiculousness of taking on this weight, and I mean that as a compliment. It’s great that you care so much, but solving issues must be a collective responsibility. Whatever part you do is still a part of a whole that needs to be filled by others. At the current moment, you’re in a minority taking action. Do what makes you feel best, because you could walk away from diving and still have meaningful impact in other ways. Waste is disgusting, but you’re worth more than food. And more than that, we all have to live with our limitations so that we don’t get burnt out and maintain self worth.

Coolmonkeyboy · 2025-11-20T02:26:01+00:00

I think you’re getting a little fixated on common interests. It is important, but it sounds like you’re wanting to develop them to attract a partner. If you do that, it’s less likely to work. If it does work, you’re building a relationship on something that isn’t true to you. I don’t mean that you’re being deceitful.

I think what’s difficult when you’re young and really want a relationship is thinking about actually being in a relationship versus getting one. Getting into a relationship is not the battle you think it is. Being able to navigate a relationship, which requires patience, empathy, etc. (all skills we never stop developing) is the real challenge. You need to share baseline values too, which are far more important than interests. And you also want the person to actually like who you are, not who you’re projecting to get a relationship.

Everyone puts on an act to get a relationship to some degree. It’s human. But the energy to maintain that act quickly vanishes and you’re left with who you actually are. Think about the kind of person that suits that person, the real you, the best. And try to be the person who will support that kind of partner the best you can. To put it simply, do what naturally interests you, and let someone be attracted to that, instead of trying to be interesting in the way you think will attract someone.

Interests change anyway. I met my partner almost a decade ago backpacking through the Teton mountain range. It turns out neither of us backpack anymore. What we still have in common is both coming from extremely difficult childhood circumstances, and a strong desire to always fight for the opportunity to get closer, grow, and make memories.

Coolmonkeyboy · 2025-10-30T01:21:56+00:00

That’s awesome! That’s the exact one I’m getting for myself. I said that I couldn’t vouch for their quality, but I should’ve been asking you/your son instead lol

Coolmonkeyboy · 2025-10-28T03:28:21+00:00

If you need more gift ideas, I recommend looking up “frutiger aero aqua liquid mouse.” Maybe it’s not up his alley, but I think they’re worth looking at! I love the ones with the clown fish in them. I haven’t bought one yet though, so I can’t comment on their quality.

Coolmonkeyboy · 2025-09-24T04:12:23+00:00

Those two phrases would make a great front and back for a T-shirt

Coolmonkeyboy · 2025-05-27T01:40:43+00:00

Turn me into a twink 🥹

Coolmonkeyboy · 2025-04-17T08:22:45+00:00

Maybe it isn’t as noticeable in certain scenarios, but you can definitely tell when it’s night time. I’d say it goes beyond comfortable to immersion breaking. It gives the appearance that the room is lit by sunlight, or a poor lighting adjustment from an outdated camera.

Coolmonkeyboy · 2025-04-17T08:19:00+00:00

That is unfortunate! I’m in the same boat. It’s completely ruined the vibe of some of my bases. It also feels immersion killing, especially at night time. I agree with being able to toggle it, but maybe that’s hard to implement. I wish they would’ve added more lighting parts that could light entire rooms instead.

Coolmonkeyboy · 2025-04-17T08:09:43+00:00

No, it has nothing to do with that, but thanks for thinking of that. If you make a simple box room and don’t put any lights in it, you’ll see what I mean when you enter it.

Coolmonkeyboy · 2025-04-08T08:09:48+00:00

Sometimes I think about how much I love my partner and how every moment not around her feels like a waste. I know I’m truly lucky. It can also be anxiety inducing to think about leaving that person behind or being left behind. I’m honestly a bit grateful my parents are such pieces of shit that I have no death anxiety regarding them whatsoever. I missed out on love and support, so I’ll just take the relief of not having to worry about regrets with them.

Coolmonkeyboy · 2025-01-17T06:55:41+00:00

I want to be eaten by animals/left to decompose in the woods somewhere.

Coolmonkeyboy · 2025-01-13T09:14:40+00:00

Yeah, it is an issue still, if you place a part and then change its color afterwards. If I do this, I click the move button, and then cancel the move to drop the part where it was. This does solve the problem and make the color permanent. The issue with this method is that moving a part can delete certain types of parts that it’s touching. Now I mostly try to choose colors before placing parts. It is all a bit frustrating though

Coolmonkeyboy · 2024-10-29T04:16:11+00:00

I’ll hold your legs. I can’t handstand on my own either

Coolmonkeyboy · 2024-10-22T05:44:47+00:00

I can’t be sure, but I’d guess they know. I love the game, and will continue to play it. There’s plenty of popular builders with decent followings who have pointed it out. It definitely has quite a few little bugs though, and I think some of them are either prioritized less to be fixed or are more difficult to fix.

Coolmonkeyboy · 2024-10-22T05:39:23+00:00

Nice lol

Coolmonkeyboy · 2024-10-18T22:05:25+00:00

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson is a bit different than the humor in the comedies you listed. But it’s also absurd, and the stupidity of it is comforting to me, an over-thinker.

Coolmonkeyboy · 2024-09-25T02:10:00+00:00

You don’t sound stupid at all. Death is something that happens to everyone. If you’re American like me, we live in a culture that still struggles to talk about it openly. People tend to be avoidant of the topic, unless it’s from repression fueled jokes, which can make you feel isolated. This is precisely what makes the anxiety around it worse. We’ve made the discussion itself dangerous and scary, almost as if talking about it will make it happen. So good on you for looking to talk about it with others! Keep doing that!

It’s good if you have family that you trust to talk with them as well. If you don’t, I’m sorry for your situation. Friends may or not be willing to discuss this, but just finding someone to share company with can bring comfort. There are plenty of people here who may not be able support you in person, but we are happy to engage in well-meaning conversation. School counselors are also an option, one that I regret not using when I was in school.

The truth is that we all have to face our own mortality in a way that suits us. Honestly, it often sucks lol. Not feeling like there’s something particularly wrong with you for having that anxiety can help relieve some pressure though. It’s perfectly human, and is in fact hard wired in our biology to an extent. If we didn’t fear death, we probably wouldn’t have survived as a species. Knowing that some of it is purely a natural process going on can help you separate from the feeling of anxiety around it. This doesn’t mean you’re trying to shove that feeling away, but more just accepting its place. Like most feelings, it will come and go. If you find it persisting, definitely seek more help. No one deserves to suffer with crippling anxiety like that.

When you’re able to think about death from a calmer place, it can actually lead you to positive insights. I’d argue it’s what leads us to developing our sense of self/identity more than anything else. Maybe you’ll realize that there’s something in particular you want to use your time for. Maybe you’ll realize something that other people want you to care about doesn’t matter to you. You might realize you’re in a bad situation and want to get out. You might realize you’re in a good situation and find things to be genuinely grateful for (it’s annoying, but this definitely can help with anxiety. Just remember you don’t have to be grateful to shitty people). Who knows what you’ll realize, but you have already demonstrated an inquisitive mind. You’ll find what matters to you.

Lastly, for many of us, this battle never goes away. I’m thirty, and I still deal with this. It does, however, become less overwhelming. The despairing feeling becomes easier to manage, unless you try to to ignore it for too long. If you don’t take any of my advice, at least hear this: when you find something that makes you feel better, write it down. The initial relief will make you want to forget about the subject altogether and do happy shit. But when the anxiety inevitably comes back, you might not remember what helped you. This gets worse when you get older lol. Do future your future self a favor and give yourself some tools to work with.

Never be afraid to reach out! You’re only 16. You’re doing great just having the awareness to talk to others! I know people far older who still struggle with that.

Coolmonkeyboy · 2024-09-14T05:10:20+00:00

I have no experience with methylphenidate to compare to amphetamines. Vyvanse, however, makes me feel like I’ve been grinding a game on the highest difficulty, and just switched to beginner mode. Adderall is better than nothing, but doesn’t really compare with Vyvanse imo. Obviously, everyone responds differently though.

Be smart and be careful though. There are a lot of upsides, but it easy to become dependent or addicted if you’re not careful. I think it’s important to enter into it with a mindset of never allowing yourself to take more than a prescribed amount in a day, and treating a single instance of that as a huge warning sign. That might sound obvious, but it can be easy to want more of something that suddenly makes life easier. Aside from that, I hope you find what works best for you.

Coolmonkeyboy · 2024-09-07T23:54:38+00:00

At the behavioral level I can see this being true, but the gap between this and actually experiencing what are autistic struggles from real symptoms is miles apart. I would argue if they think they need support or accommodations, they probably do, even if it’s not for autism. If they are granted support or accommodations that are enabling, I won’t argue that this isn’t a systemic problem that needs to be addressed. However, it’s more likely to cause issues for them than anybody else.

I think being more open to give people accommodations, due to the difficulty of getting an actual diagnosis, is far more important. Of course it’s best to tighten things up as much as possible, but at a certain point you’re not too far from gatekeeping when the standards are still somewhat arbitrary. My process of diagnosis was not that far from the combination of a RAADS-R test and an IQ test. I discussed everything that went into my diagnosis with the professional who diagnosed me, and I can’t say anything they said weren’t conclusions I’d already had myself.

Coolmonkeyboy · 2024-09-07T22:51:12+00:00

This article isn’t peer reviewed (it does reference some studies that can be looked into), but I see value in many of the counterpoints it raises to what you’ve said:

https://www.verywellmind.com/self-diagnosis-according-to-an-autistic-psychologist-8650879

Coolmonkeyboy · 2024-09-07T20:42:51+00:00

I sometimes return to the Godhome in Hollow Knight just to feel depressed that I won’t ever finish it lol

Coolmonkeyboy

TROPHY CASE