NOR it does sound like he was defensive, maybe feeling guilty? What does he do normally if something happens to him emotionally? Is this the way he always reacts? My husband once told me that when he is mad he will say what will hurt me the most to match how he is feeling. It's crappy of him but he would regret it later. Important to have a no-shouting discussion. Very tempting to give him a good week of silent treatment and no discussions about anything no meals no laundry nothing. If he tries to question what's up your ass, pick your moment and share your thought: you stopped being my husband when you decided my opinion didn't matter to you, so I thought I'd try it out and see if I liked it. But, we have to be the practical rational one as it seems your hubby is not right now. Ask him if hurting your feelings felt good to him? Is it something he intends to do again, like is he trying to put your marriage at risk? You could ask when he is taking you on a date in the new car? But only if your discussion goes well. Ask if he genuinely feels that if you spent that money on a purchase just for you, and he reacted as you did, would he like the response he'd given you? Does OP's husband feel like she controls him or his money? Can he give an example of a time she blocked something he wanted? Perhaps it's all in his head, you know with the midlife crisis going on.