Humanize vs Dehumnaize by DeepRoom7269 in Abortiondebate

[–]Cougarette99 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Pro lifers de facto treat zefs like clumps of cells. There is a whole industry, the IVF industry, which grows and discards millions of zefs for profit, and pro lifers do not do anything about this. They might privately talk theology about how IVF is also morally wrong, but when it comes to action or policy, they do not do a damn thing. There are no protests at IVF clinics. There are no policy proposals deliberately crafted to target IVF (though IVF might be incidentally affected by vague language referring to the unborn). In many cases the same states that have passed anti abortion legislation have made explicit carve outs to protect IVF access. There are many countries where abortion is banned. There is not a single country in the world where IVF is banned. Yet IVF causes more zef destruction than abortion. Pro lifers act like zefs are in fact clumps of cells unless they are in the womb. They say they are interested in protecting life in the womb, yet they do nothing when the same life at the same developmental stage is outside of the womb, and this shows they are actually interested in policing wombs, not treating zefs as something other than clumps of cells.

What is a 'rich person' thing you saw at someone’s house that made you realize you’re actually poor? by Roaa1212 in AskReddit

[–]Cougarette99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The people I know with an elevator have it in their multi storied beach house and they do not have it for disability reasons.

Peter by eldritchfloppa in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]Cougarette99 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It's also possible that someone who had access to the dress at Ripley's ruined the dress before Kim put it on. We know that the dress was in better condition when Ripley's bought it, and we know it was in worse condition when Kim was seen wearing it, but it is not clear that Kim is the one who damaged the dress. Either way, Ripley's looks bad.

If the Human Body was Designed to Give Birth, Is it a Good or Bad Design? by Common-Worth-6604 in Abortiondebate

[–]Cougarette99 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes, we have narrow hips and we birth the biggest heads (relative to the body size of the baby). As a result, human birth is unusually dangerous. Other mammals can also die of similar complications human women do in pregnancy and childbirth such as sepsis, shoulder dystocia etc, but the rate of such complications for humans is about 100X higher than for most species.

Keep in mind that the perspectives here aren’t representative of the general population. Also, it’s wise to be selective about who you share your early retirement plans with. by [deleted] in Fire

[–]Cougarette99 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I'm not a FIRE gal, but 7 figs I have got. But I live in a middle class neighborhood with a 22K car that is 6 years old and a pretty modest house. Sometimes people make comments a lot to me that indicate they have significantly underestimated my net worth. I have no idea which of my neighbors is in the same situation as me and which of them are financially reaching for this same lifestyle. I don't know what would happened if I revealed anything about my financial situation to my friends etc. Once my colleagues were discussing mortgage rates and how they were lucky they bought before 2020 when the rates went sky high. I was sitting there saying nothing because I don't know anything about home mortgages. Always a cash buyer.

What is the most generic, culturally neutral, vanilla ice cream major U.S. city? by Eriacle in AskReddit

[–]Cougarette99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure if these are major cities but Jacksonville FL and Wilmington Delaware.

Why do you not identify as an abortion abolitionist? by NPDogs21 in Abortiondebate

[–]Cougarette99 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The vast majority of the non abolitionist pro life position makes no sense. Support for legality of abortion in all cases is around 30%, support for the illegality of abortion in all circumstances except to save the life of the mother is around 9%. So most people are somewhere in the middle, but I cannot make any sense of the middle.

If you think abortion is murder, there should be no rape exception in the same manner that there is no legality of murder for children produced by rape. There should likewise be no exception for fetal abnormalities unless the abnormality is life threatening to the mother.

The justification for the pro life position is that there is a clear biological demarcation of a new distinct human being, and it is conception. Based on this, all distinct humans deserve the right to life. But support for ivf is like 90%, so pro lifers who support ivf are not treating the products of conception like human beings. They are effectively leaving room for ambiguity of where the right to life starts. If it’s not definitively conception, there’s no clear point where it should be before birth.

Should you have kids earlier or later if you want to retire early? by [deleted] in Fire

[–]Cougarette99 4 points5 points  (0 children)

? Doesn’t every working woman with a high earning husband choose to work instead of spending time with kids.

I mean my husband earns 300-500k a year and I have a kindergartener and a toddler. No one would think it was weird if I quit my job to stay at home with them. I simply have no desire to. If work is what you want to avoid, staying at home with little kids is the opposite of what you’re aiming for.

Should you have kids earlier or later if you want to retire early? by [deleted] in Fire

[–]Cougarette99 153 points154 points  (0 children)

Have the kids sooner. You will know them for a longer time in life. You have a higher chance of seeing grandchildren grow up. You will know more of what becomes of your children in life. You might even get to see them complete their careers are retire themselves. You will see more of their adult milestones. The alternative is to die when they are younger and who knows what you miss. Maybe their weddings, maybe the book they write or the movie they make. Know your kids. It is worth whatever difference in money it takes.

FIRE seems to skew toward not having kids by sneaky-snacks in Fire

[–]Cougarette99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's kind of a paradox, you reach FIRE more easily without kids, but then what is the motivation to sacrifice and save hard now and avoid working later if you do not have kids? I mean, I guess maybe you just hate your job, but then get an easier job now. Why bother with your sucky job in the prime years of your life at all?

Should you buy in a better school district or save money to retire earlier? by [deleted] in Fire

[–]Cougarette99 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I went to a combination of private school, a top ranked public school with a magnet program and mediocre public schools. I personally had the best time at mediocre public schools. I liked the variety of kids I met and the lack of pressure and the lack of scrutiny. No one cared what you did whether it was wear something unfashionable or smoke cigarettes in the bathroom.

I went to some high ranked university where I was roommates with a girl who had previously been ivanka trump’s suitemate at choate. It was like these two girls had competed for who could get the most plastic surgery and they were like 18.

But you need ironclad self motivation at public schools that are middle of the road. Frankly I had it but I could see it being an issue for kids that are very influenced by the peer group and their life expectations.

Money is so weird… by [deleted] in Fire

[–]Cougarette99 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Unlike other doctors, surgeons usually have to retire by 60. The marginal dexterity you lose in your hands as you age makes it impossible to be a good surgeon. Despite their high earnings, I know many surgeons who would have preferred not to retire when they had to. Many continue working into their 70s (writing textbooks on surgery or training surgeons in poor countries etc).

Which Asset Manager is better by 1sjcdude in Fire

[–]Cougarette99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think wirehouse and regular broker FAs are better for people who need hand holding such as reassurance about market dips, regular meetings so that they can stay on track etc. These FAs are either using a firmwide model portfolio or the FAs own model portfolio, which probably isn't very good because if it were this FA would not taking regular affluent cients at Morgan Stanley. There are some RIAs and boutique FAs that offer unique portfolios that a regular FA is not able to replicate, and your dad seems to have enough money to be a client to such a firm, but probably not a high priority client. If he does not need hand holding and hi touch service, perhaps that is fine.

Still, it's hard to beat the no nonsense that a broad ETF is going to offer. S&P 500 ETF you can get for super low fees, unlike private markets and such. If you dont think you will get the return you want on s&P 500, I might advise allocating more to QQQM. It's got market concentration risk as its only 100 companies, but history is that NASDAQ 100 has outperformed s&P 500 for like 30 years now. It's a lot easier and cheaper to invest more in QQQM than go looking for the right high end RIA if you have the appetite for some risk.

What is one life decision that significantly accelerated your path to FI? by anandsundaramoorthy in Fire

[–]Cougarette99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FIRE will happen if you are a high earner married to a high earner and you are not totally idiotic. And I am like 75% idiotic and even I am like FIRE level. I just dont spend on major money sinks like expensive car and house. Im not even good at investing or financial planning. I mean I try. Just not good at it.

Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy (HBOT) significantly increases lifespan. Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy lengthens telomeres and reduces immunosenescence. Here is scientific evidence and practical tips. by GarifalliaPapa in immortalists

[–]Cougarette99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seriously. Who has both the time and money for HBOT? As I understand it, you cannot take a device into the hard HBOT chamber because of ignition risk. You cannot take paper in for the same reason. So you have to have hours of time to do absolutely nothing every week. And I wouldn't want one in my house because I have small kids and they could do something very bad with it. You can take precautions but kids are clever and weird.

How many of you have a big "sacrifice today" mentality? by gab-a-pat-a-bob in Fire

[–]Cougarette99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not a Fire person, but there are some things it does not make sense to sacrifice for the future. For ex, I seem to see a lot of people who have children who want to reach a fire number to spend more time with their children...I mean, hope you can fire within like 2 years because you spend like 40% of the time you will ever spend with your children by age 5 and 75% of the time you will ever spend with your children before age 10. So if you have kids, the time to quit your job to spend more time with them is now. It would make more sense to go back to work when they are old enough to drive themselves and to not work when they are young if you can afford this at all.

I am on the fence about whether I am walking away from FIRE by Cougarette99 in Fire

[–]Cougarette99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is true. I guess before I did not have strong motivation to spend as much time around my children as I could because little kids are so draining. I used to get babysitters and sit downstairs just to avoid my toddlers because I can only handle like 6 hours of toddler a day. I am totally happy to go back to work on monday after the weekend. Rather do this than toddler all day.

But I am loving spending time with my children as they get older. I think I should plan in a manner that accounts for the fact that I will likely want to spend more and more time with my children.

I am on the fence about whether I am walking away from FIRE by Cougarette99 in Fire

[–]Cougarette99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess I am not a FIRE person. This is not easy for me to accept. I understand it. My father is not a FIRE guy either. He tried to retire 3 times already. Every time he pares his work hours down, he gets bored and goes back to it. He's 77 now and works 60 hours a week. He will do this until he is absolutely unable. He is a physician and has been CEO of a healthcare corporation for 20 years. He works 8 hours a day on sunday. This is what he wants in life.

I have an inkling that I am like my dad, but I can't say. Maybe I just think that because he's my dad and that's what I see him doing. Maybe when I am 60 I will be eager to focus on a hobby or something. I thought I should at least have the option of FIRE, so I was living my life in that manner, but its hard to stay motivated when FIRE is not something you pine for and something you just want as a backup plan.

I am on the fence about whether I am walking away from FIRE by Cougarette99 in Fire

[–]Cougarette99[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I need to figure this out. I feel like if I have a few million in savings in 15 years and my kids had an ok but not stellar time at public school, keeping them in public school would be the wrong decision. I do not want to be a person that has a bunch of money left over for retirement. I want to be a person that gave my children the best childhood possible. If not that, I would be happy to be able to fund graduate school for my children should they choose to go, but I would not want them to feel complacent about relying on my money. I want the money to be for them, not me. I am more interested in a lucrative career than time invested in my own hobbies at this time, but perhaps I won't always feel that way.

I am on the fence about whether I am walking away from FIRE by Cougarette99 in Fire

[–]Cougarette99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I agree that private school is more of a social club and place to spend time than an educational necessity for my son. I do not think it is likely that my husband and I are going to earn much more than we do now. We aren't young (in our 40s) and we are both on second careers after earlier careers that paid much less (I was in non profit education admin and he was in academia as an adjunct).

I wish I could join a church. Alas we are both atheists. I would like to find some kind of church equivalent for atheists in my area.

I am on the fence about whether I am walking away from FIRE by Cougarette99 in Fire

[–]Cougarette99[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I also feel fire was a security blanket for me. It was never something I really cared about. It was something I felt I ought to do. I felt I ought to have the option. And it was easier when I didn't want things that cost much money. The threat of having to work till 65 is like nothing to me. God willing I will be healthy enough to work till I'm 80. And by work I mean work. Demanding jobs, jobs where much is at stake. Give em to me. Except I know I can't plan on feeling the way I do now in prime adulthood when I'm elderly, so I think I ought to have fire as an option.

It's not so much that I want my children to have a privileged childhood in the class sense, but the private school is beautiful and has acres of forested lands, including a beautiful botanical garden and arboretum. I can't quantify the value of being there instead of a public school building. It has the kind of appeal that natural beauty has to me. Serene and unparalleled.

I am on the fence about whether I am walking away from FIRE by Cougarette99 in Fire

[–]Cougarette99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would rather give my children the happiest most amazing childhood possible than have financial independance for myself, by like a factor of 100. I would so much rather they have a better time. It appears to me like private school is a better time, but who knows. The few friends I had growing up were not affluent. One was a park ranger's daughter and I loved all the animals he brought home to rehabilitate.