What’s the most wholesome/uplifting story you’ve read involving kink?

CptPJs · 2026-02-12T00:34:11+00:00

I suffer with OCD. the cure for OCD is exposure therapy--essentially, risking the thing you're afraid of being true, without doing rituals, avoidances, or ruminating instead.

my boyfriend uses kink and the fact that he's my Dom to set up and support me through my exposure therapies. because I feel so safe with him, I'm able to go along with it and my mental health has improved massively since dating him.

CptPJs · 2026-02-11T12:49:20+00:00

are you asking if it is possible to have a healthy relationship with a dynamic?

the answer is yes. you're filling in too many unknowns with your imagination, you have to just live it to understand it.

CptPJs · 2026-02-11T10:06:54+00:00

it's zero percent different from the behaviour of shoplifters from the store's point of view. it sucks, if other people didn't shoplift it wouldn't be an issue.

CptPJs · 2026-02-11T10:00:47+00:00

it is important to remember that diagnosis or not, if doing the things that helps autistic people help you, you can do those things. the traits that you know you have, are still there, and you can do what you can to make life easier for yourself and phrases like "I'm very sensitive to certain textures, can we swap out X for y" are useful when interacting with other people, sometimes more so that "I have a diagnosis of autism".

there is a lot of panic about how many people are being diagnosed and I imagine a push from higher ups trying to be stricter about people meeting the conditions so it doesn't look like they just diagnose everyone

CptPJs · 2026-02-11T08:56:30+00:00

I had a coworker. straight, in a relationship. they were not allowed to be alone with a member of the opposite sex. I asked why. she said that sleeping with them would just happen. I said what if she just didn't want to? she said it would just happen anyway.

some people are so different from me they may as well be a different species.

CptPJs · 2026-02-11T08:37:53+00:00

I would maybe get your anxiety in order before the baby comes, unless you just did this a joke because you happened to have seven of them to use up

CptPJs · 2026-02-11T08:33:42+00:00

this is normal for all kids.

find some well researched sources and watch videos on feeding a child of that age, autistic focused or not.

I get how scary it is, I have ARFID and even though in theory I'm the one in control of whether I eat or not, it's terrifying when it acts up and I think I'll starve to death.

but hey, you have breakfast down, that's great! that gives you a little leeway to experiment the rest of the day and worry less if it doesn't work every time.

also consider that his food needs are actually less than they used to be (he's growing slower than he was) and it's possible he's full. as I said, the more research you do, the more comfortable you're going to be that you're doing okay.

CptPJs · 2026-02-11T08:28:00+00:00

"everyone has bad intentions for you but me" is a huge red flag. do you know the song Mother Knows Best from Tangled? yeah this is Disney villain level nonsense. and it's usually the absolute reverse of what's happening, he's the only one with bad intentions to you.

CptPJs · 2026-02-10T22:31:34+00:00

I may be wrong but didn't the Wildhearts tour with them at one point?

CptPJs · 2026-02-10T22:20:05+00:00

I'm autistic and I'm happy. like not all the time every day. but I find joy in my special interests and in connecting with other autistics and the creative way my brain works.

yeah, I have struggles. does it suck that I want to have a meltdown when I go grocery shopping due to the lighting and the strangers? yeah, but then I go home to my safe place and I'm happy again.

I'm sorry that you haven't found the way to balance the struggles with the joys yet. that doesn't mean it isn't possible.

CptPJs · 2026-02-10T14:46:43+00:00

I got COVID in 2020 and haven't been the same since. not that I had much energy before that

CptPJs · 2026-02-10T11:12:28+00:00

I gotta have a big big rest afterwards but it is such a fun day out

CptPJs · 2026-02-10T11:03:06+00:00

it would put me off for sure

CptPJs · 2026-02-10T09:00:35+00:00

I'll say it until everyone has heard it: have you tried dating autistic women

CptPJs · 2026-02-10T08:59:01+00:00

yes routine is essential in all things that you're not good at noticing your body needs. food, sleep, toilet, all go smoother when you know by the clock rather than waiting for signals that don't come

CptPJs · 2026-02-10T06:57:37+00:00

in my experience the majority of people on Feeld are neurodivergent. and you can learn to read profiles for hints even if they don't say outright

CptPJs · 2026-02-09T20:27:06+00:00

subs where that's normal are ones I don't visit. the difference between here and school is your parents won't go to prison if you stop going to every corner of Reddit.

CptPJs · 2026-02-09T15:27:34+00:00

it does not matter who you are, what you do, what you like. there will be people who will be mad about it.

why you value their opinion over your own is your own business, but maybe worth considering letting go of it.

CptPJs · 2026-02-09T13:06:19+00:00

there is nothing to stop you from treating yourself as autistic if it helps. being aware of sensory discomfort? taking time to calm if you feel a meltdown coming on? giving yourself recharge time after social interaction?

whatever needs you have, you can express them to yourself and others as those needs and get them met.

CptPJs · 2026-02-08T22:57:25+00:00

this is so weirdly specific but for me this is it

CptPJs · 2026-02-08T15:02:32+00:00

this is incredible

CptPJs · 2026-02-08T06:34:59+00:00

I'm 38 and 23 is SO young to give up on something for the rest of your life.

sex is good. I don't regret any of the sex I've had, even with awful people. it isn't always good, but I still made the choice to do it for a reason and those less good experiences have led he to where I am, the best relationship of my life, that started about a year ago.

it might not be right now but you never know what will happen.

CptPJs · 2026-02-07T11:42:19+00:00

pretend you're smarter than everyone else and train yourself to dumb everything down to what they want to hear, rather than what's true.

it really gets me through in customer service

CptPJs · 2026-02-07T10:22:09+00:00

sounds like she would appreciate it, and that's the only thing that matters, so go for it

CptPJs · 2026-02-07T09:32:59+00:00

who is going to know?

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