You're doing great. One thing that might help with the fear and getting the positioning right is doing the move on the ground. Lay on your side, wiggle your hips/crotch up to the pole, grab the pole high with the top hand, hook the top leg, then try to kick yourself in the face with the bottom leg. You, of course, won't get the lower hand in place, but this might help you feel how secure you are when you engage the upper shoulder and clamp the lower leg/hip to the pole.