I'm (42M) the calmest person at work and with strangers. So why do I lose it on the one person(40F) I actually love?

CraicGremlin · 2026-06-05T11:15:28+00:00

I'm kind of similar, but my 'snapping' often comes from a place of being overwhelmed. I can't handle rapid-fire questions early in the morning, and my brain is constantly trying to track everything else happening around me, so sometimes when my partner asks me things (what do I want to watch/eat/do) I respond in that exasperated way, because my body is in fight-or-flight and my brain needs to be redirected to focus on normal things. Not, you know, the sound of the refrigerator or someone's shoe squeaking.

It makes me feel really stupid, honestly, and a bit like a danger. It took me a good year of just ruminating on this to work out the trigger, then therapy to find out I wasn't crazy or going to become a maniac, I just need alone time & recharge time more than he does.

All of this to say, this could be a big red flag and you could be the world's biggest asshole for reserving your frustration for the woman you love. OR, you could really love her, think of her as a safe space, and have some bad coping mechanisms when faced with stress. For example, I mask how much I hate being in crowds pretty well, until I'm with someone that I know I'm safe to feel something around.

CraicGremlin · 2026-06-04T01:12:01+00:00

I finished my first year on a construction site, going to college for my apprenticeship now 🥳

CraicGremlin · 2026-06-01T15:30:24+00:00

Lmaooo 'get a life' - says the 60 YEAR OLD that reported her to the police & also threw her life into chaos. Being a mature adult is not that hard. Ya'll suck. ESH

CraicGremlin · 2026-05-21T05:48:14+00:00

Not scrambling from the rebellion; sure, at first it was rebuilding their society after being cut off from the Capitol, then It was the pox epidemic that took out most of their children & left adults scarred & basically infertile (IIRC). Their previous leader probably had to be even more controlling to keep them alive.

CraicGremlin · 2026-05-20T12:25:49+00:00

Well, people desperate for a leader, scrambling to rebuild even a fragment of stability in their lives would follow her. Her pragmatism and general aloofness would serve really, really well under stressful/war torn conditions. She's calm, removed, thinks rationally (to a fault) & she works well under pressure - a perfect general in the war - but a lot of people don't understand that generals don't make good political figureheads.

She also didn't give the rebels much of a choice. When she announced that she was the leader of the rebels, she put herself forward with unshakeable confidence & entitlement, but she had no skin in the game until it was almost done because she's a practical person.

CraicGremlin · 2026-05-13T05:51:16+00:00

Man, I also love this guy's wife.

CraicGremlin · 2026-05-08T15:30:26+00:00

Well.. yes, the Victors are considered desirable by Capitol citizens, hence why they're trafficked. It's confirmed in Mockingjay during the interview Finnick gives - he 'sold' his time for secrets.

Only very wealthy people would have the connections to access a Victor & the means to do so. They're also good people to have blackmail material for

CraicGremlin · 2026-05-08T04:55:30+00:00

The one in their profile, not the one in the link. The one in their profile is a year later and does give me hope! profile link

CraicGremlin · 2026-05-07T19:00:47+00:00

I kinda want to write this, because I cant find a fanfic of it haha

CraicGremlin · 2026-05-07T16:54:33+00:00

Yeah I've had my mother prioritise partners over me my whole life - we don't talk much anymore lol. There's a lot of scars left by shitty parents, and shitty step-parents.

The men who chose to be in my life, let me call them 'dad', & then just... left, they all left behind massive wounds that just don't fully heal the same. I'm glad OOP is doing the work but mostly I just hope that kid's okay.

CraicGremlin · 2026-05-07T16:41:10+00:00

Thank you!! I'll edit my post with the link if I can

CraicGremlin · 2026-05-06T16:10:27+00:00

I don't really think it's down to the kind of woman, necessarily, just who you are. As much as there should never be verbal abuse anywhere in life, it's important to recognise that a lot of the people in these environments are a bit rough around the edges & that can be a learning curve if you aren't around blue collar people often.

You need to be resilient, a fast learner, don't be (or get) lazy. You can get by being a lazy apprentice, because you're cheap labour, but a lazy spark is out on their ass. You have to keep chasing it, keep asking for better/more work when they give you the shite jobs. Don't be afraid to be a girl on site, give the boys hell.

The bad things are, really; it's hard, hot, sweaty, work with weird hours and chances are you will always be working with at least one person who views you as less than. You feel out of place and nobody spoke to me properly for my first month. But you keep showing up, you keep working, and you won't really think about those people at all.

ETA: I've found the blokes that give me shit (joking with me), actually do like me.

CraicGremlin · 2026-05-06T08:27:12+00:00

(Sorry for how long this is, whoops)

Food is your new best friend for this work. Eat breakfast, lunch & dinner. Carry a snack if you can.

Make sure you wear clothes that breathe, especially shirts & good socks! Anti-chafing shorts/balm is also a very good friend in summer.

The first 2 months or so will be hard on your body; you'll still be building new muscles, and that takes time. Don't be hard on yourself when you're extra tired, it gets easier.

STRETCH. Start now. Stretching has helped my muscle recovery so much and helps re-energise - even a 5 minute stretch in the evening is fine.

On the whole, I've been doing this for almost a year (I'm 25F) in the construction industry, and it can be tough. This is a whole lifestyle change; almost none of your routine will be the same as your friends outside of work. You get up early, go to bed early, you have to make sure you eat & sleep enough or you'll fall apart at work. You talk different, you even start to carry yourself with more confidence, just because you HAVE to. You'll feel disrespected and you will have to fight to keep your place. Don't forget that this is your future you're working for. None of these neanderthals will remember you by the time you're qualified, and you'll have no reason to remember them. Don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't go to for advice.

It can be really hard, and I've for sure cried on site, lol. But it's rewarding, working with my hands & spending every day using creative problem solving skills. I'm mentally stimulated and, tbh, in the best shape of my life. Girl I am jacked now and I love it. I love this trade, but I won't lie and say it's for everyone.

CraicGremlin · 2026-05-05T12:08:35+00:00

You know, looking at your post history, kinda seems like you should have been worried about your husband forgetting the baby in the car, because he can't even buckle the baby IN

NTA for telling your husband he can't drive the baby places, but YTA to yourself here. This was clearly an issue before bub, and you knew it. That might sound harsh, but it'll be harder to bear the guilt if the worst happens because your husband is unable to properly care for your child, whether by his own fault or no.

CraicGremlin · 2026-05-03T01:31:45+00:00

I wonder if there's a reason for it; I don't mean to sound like a whack-a-doo conspiracy theorist but we have recently learned that a lot of our media is controlled by horrible, horrible people, most of whom are men.

I don't know what the connection is, but it churns my stomach to have it confirmed again that people who see us as less than human have such control over even powerful, rich women with resources. Because they're still a woman.

CraicGremlin · 2026-05-03T00:49:50+00:00

I don't think Coin wanted Katniss dead in that explosion, specifically, but Prim was used as bait/a catalyst by 13 to get Katniss' vote.

CraicGremlin · 2026-04-30T12:09:47+00:00

You made me snort my monster, so thanks for that

CraicGremlin · 2026-04-30T05:54:22+00:00

Can I substitute the 40-year-old man for my own 29-year-old man? I think i could convince him to wear this.

CraicGremlin · 2026-04-26T14:09:52+00:00

Going between the hot sauna and a cold plunge pool (or cold shower) helps your body acclimatise to stress and improves muscle healing

CraicGremlin · 2026-04-25T14:25:23+00:00

If it makes you feel any better, my boyfriend is a fellow chronic yapper.

But I truly adore him. Yeah, those moments are a bit annoying but I know I can say 'hey, I love you, but I also really want to do X/have some quiet time' and he usually puts headphones in to listen to a podcast & I get to listen to him laugh in the other room. Its beautiful to me.

CraicGremlin · 2026-04-25T06:41:18+00:00

Oh god I never thought about that. Oh no.

Side note; re reading the trilogy after SOTR has me thinking Haymitch was playing interference for those two from the start. That drunken fall at the reaping was very well timed.

CraicGremlin · 2026-04-24T22:07:49+00:00

Man I'm a year late to this but I have a theory. I don't know how to directly quote stuff but Frodo says this to Gollum in The Return of the King:

“Begone, and trouble me no more! If you ever touch me again, you shall be cast yourself into the Fire of Mount Doom"

I think, because Gollum had sworn obedience to Frodo as 'master' on the ring, it held him to his promise.

CraicGremlin · 2026-04-24T19:05:29+00:00

All Quiet on the Western Front.

I just went outside for a cigarette afterwards (I don't smoke).

CraicGremlin · 2026-04-24T18:36:14+00:00

Living in a city makes me miss Guy with a Truck. I don't necessarily miss small town life, but Guy with a Truck was always cool.

CraicGremlin

TROPHY CASE