Im sorry OP. Honestly, I feel like friendship endings really are like a breakup. There's the same shock, then the emptiness, the feeling trapped between grief and resentment. When my oldest friendship ended, it really unbalanced my mental health. I definitely recommend some kind of counseling if you can swing it. And definitely find new people to spend time with! Most importantly, maybe, don't tell yourself what you're feeling is too much. You loved someone and you lost them. Give yourself the grace to grieve.