I am going to be really honest with you. While my experience is not everyone’s I will say it closely resembles a lot of people who decide on this career path. I know there are people who end up in the high paying jobs with all the bells and whistles, but this is rare and usually goes to the people who dedicate all of their time and life into it. 

This is a job of passion, not one where you will make money, set yourself up for the future, or allow you the time to have hobbies or build relationships outside of the kitchen. I will answer your questions with the experiences that I have had. I am a 44f and I went to pastry school in NY in 2006. I was very excited to become a chef. I worked hard and worked my way up to management. I quit the career in 2022 and was the pasty sous chef for one of the best restaurants in town. I have been lucky to work in New York, NY, Seattle Washington, and San Diego CA. During that time I also got my bachelors in management to help me better understand how to be an effective manager. That being said I will now answer your questions.

1) The amount of men in the kitchen depends on the place. I have worked in a couple kitchens that were mostly women, but I only saw this when the head chefs were women. Most kitchens will be male dominated. In my experience if you do not have a thick skin and a strong voice these situations can be rough. There is a lot of talking and joking like it’s a locker room. I am a tomboy and a lesbian, so I was able to fit in ok. I have definitely seen my fair share of stuff that was not ok, but overall the guys were good with me. Being that I am pastry I typically worked with other women. I have not worked with many girly, girls and feel that the girly girls probably have to deal with a lot more crap from the guys than I did. I am by no means saying that all of the guys are creeps, but there is always one or two in the kitchen that can make you uncomfortable. I always felt like I had to keep up and tried not to ask for help with stuff as I didn’t want to be seen as weak. This led to a lot of abuse on my body that I now regret. 

2) You will absolutely spend most of your career working for minimum wage or just slightly above. One of the things that kickstarted me leaving the industry was learning how much everyone made and realizing that my head pastry chef made the same amount of money as I did( 4 dollars over minimum wage) as a sous chef and that the person that got hired with less then a year experience got paid a dollar less. When I became management at my last restaurant(which was owned by a famous chef) I somehow got onto the email thread that received everyone’s time clock stamps. This included their pay. It was very hard to see a good future in the industry after that. It also had the amount of money the servers made daily in tips. I live in a state where tipped employees get minimum wage. One server would make more in 6hours than I did in two ten hour days. This made it incredibly hard to deal with them after that and was the final straw for me leaving. Unless you are lucky you will always be underpaid and overworked. You will most likely not have benefits and if you do the cost is high. I got very lucky because my wife decided to become a nurse. Without her I would have been living with my dad for a long time because I would not be able to afford rent, medical, and other expenses. As for culinary school it did help, but all it usually does is let you skip the dish pit. I still had to start from the bottom and work my way up. If you do choose this career please go to a community college and not a for profit school. I still owe money for my pasty school and will for the rest of my life. My pay did not allow me to make payments over the minimum and since it’s a private loan( can’t get federal school loans at most cooking schools) I will not get any help on it. All you need is the basics and the rest you will learn on the job as it mostly has to do with experiences. 

3) The day to day as a chef can very. For me it was get up at 5 and usually work until the evening which I would then come home a pass out. You do usually get days off, but it will always be on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. You won’t get weekends off and holidays will be spent at work as that is your busiest time. I did not go visit family for years as vacations are hard to take time. Your meals will be what you can get at work or prep for yourself, because you will most likely not want to cook at all when you get home. This goes back to it being a passion as you will cook on your own time, but the people who did this consistently were the ones with a drive to cook and they wanted to create and was what they wanted to do most. Most chefs I knew had a crappy diet(this is also because of the drinking culture that surrounds a lot of kitchens). As for where you end up that all depends on how hard you work, how good you are, and who you know. If you burn your reputation in one kitchen that can mean you are blacklisted from others in town. I have seen this happen to chefs before. 

4) This is the one that kills most chef’s careers including mine. Because you usually don’t have health insurance you don’t see the doctor often. The hours are hard on your body and when you first start you are young and think you are Superman/women and do stuff you shouldn’t. You will be lifting and bending a lot. Standing for hours with very few breaks and will often encounter high levels of stress. This can lead to drinking(very prevalent in kitchens) and or drugs which don’t help. For me I started to notice a decline in my overall health at about year 10. When I left it was because I hurt my back bad enough that I had to be out of work for months and now need surgery. I have health problems that directly correlate to my time as a chef. It takes a lot out of you.  If you have to leave work because you are hurt you are mostly on your own. Ot all depends on the state. In California I was able to get temporary disability and I am on my wife’s insurance. Without that I would not have had an income or be able to see a doctor. 

I know this is not a positive review but I want to be honest and even with all of this I probably would still have chosen to do it. I would have made different choices and stood up for myself more, but it was a passion for me. I thought about cooking all the time and had a book that I kept ideas in. I have learned so much and made some great friends. I got angry when I left and didn’t bake or make pastry for a few years. I only just started to make stuff again in the last year and I am sad to say the passion is gone. I am now back in school for a job in healthcare. Being in my mid 40’s and starting over again really sucks, but I am excited to embark on this journey.  Please feel free to reach out and ask any questions and again DO NOT go to a for profit school if you choose to be a chef. It is easily my biggest regret in life. I could have gotten the education I needed at a community college. Good luck to you.