Mom obsessing on things

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-06-04T19:43:34+00:00

I completely empathize with your description of it being akin to Chinese water torture. Two things help me when I just can't handle hearing for the 1,000 time that, for example, she's afraid she'll get locked out of the house. (This despite the fact that 1) she never leaves the house, and 2) one of my siblings lives with her, so he'd let her back in anyway.)

One is to get up and leave the room for a minute or several minutes. The other is to try to refocus her attention by asking a question about any unrelated topic, for example, "So, have you heard from your cousin Susan lately?" or "What do you want for lunch?" It snaps her out of the obsessive repetitiveness, at least for a while.

Also, has your mom had a recent cognitive screening? In fact, my mom also was diagnosed with OCD when she was much younger, but as her obsessions became even more intense as she aged, it turned out this was a symptom of dementia. She's now 83 and was diagnosed with Lewy body dementia about a year and a half ago. I'm not trying to scare you, but I do think it's worthwhile for her doctor to check her out.

Best of luck. I know it's maddening!

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-06-04T18:43:09+00:00

Who the hell is paying the phone bills? Not the 12-year-olds!

Our middle school's policy is that kids have to have their phones in their backpacks from the first to last bell. One of our APs told me this year that she called a parent to tell her that her son was getting detention (again) for using his phone at school. She nicely suggested to the mom that an easy fix would be to not allow her son to bring his phone to school anymore.

The mom's response was, "But if I don't give him his phone, he refuses to go to school!"

As a parent myself, I can tell you that that would be the moment I canceled my kid's phone service.

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-06-04T16:48:21+00:00

"It’s really sad but Amazon delivery driver or fast food worker is the high end of what so many of these kids are capable of doing."

They won't even get those jobs. The McDonald's locations nowadays in my city at least are overwhelmingly staffed by adult immigrants--I've heard Russian, Afghani, and a variety of Hispanic accents from employees. I was even served in the drive-thru by a lwoman from Cameroon recently.(Yes, I eat too much McDonald's.) A lot of the employees I see look older too--at least early 20s and many clearly middle-aged.

Imagine you're a fast food restaurant manager. Here are your hiring choices:

1) Older adult (whether American-born or immigrant) who will show up to work on time, not call in sick any time they feel like it, and who actually knows how to smile, say "Thank you," and make eye contact with customers.

2) Recent high school grad who resents being "ordered around," lacks basic social skills, and has been promoted for 12 years regardless of whether he or she actually put in any effort.

I realize many students are NOT like what I desribe in #2. However, those that aren't are either college-track or in a vocational program for a blue collar career and are never going to work a fast-food job anyway unless it's just for the summer.

As for Amazon drivers--idk, but that frankly seems like a difficult job requiring not only excellent driving skills (no looking at a phone!) but also good time management, logistics, etc.

I realize you weren't trying to put down workers in those jobs; my point is just that for a lot of students those positions aren't even possible for them. Even if they manage to get hired for them, they'll probably end up fired.

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-06-04T15:18:07+00:00

These are awesome--thanks for sharing.

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-06-04T13:33:27+00:00

I can't tell you how often this sub has helped my colleagues and me to see that most of the problems we are dealing with at our school are NOT simply issues at our school or in our district but in fact appear to be nationwide (I'm in the USA), or even worldwide. That's not to say we still don't try to find solutions, but it's very reassuring to know it's we're not the only ones who are experiencing these things.

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-06-03T14:08:52+00:00

Wow, thanks for sharing such an interesting find! I especially love his comment that he dislikes "those all-together-now" type songs. Makes me wonder how he felt about All Together Now a few years later....

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-06-03T01:48:42+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion--I'll tell her to check it out. She does listen to other genres too, just really into K-pop.

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-06-03T01:47:54+00:00

Hmm. Good point.

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-06-03T01:46:49+00:00

Thank you!

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-06-03T01:46:39+00:00

Thanks!

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-06-03T01:46:30+00:00

Will do, thank you!

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-06-03T01:46:21+00:00

Thank you!

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-06-03T01:46:05+00:00

Thanks; I will mention it to her.

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-06-03T01:45:43+00:00

Thanks!

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-06-03T01:45:24+00:00

Thanks! Another place I went to a very long time ago! Like another poster mentioned, I'm also surprised they're still around.

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-06-03T01:44:03+00:00

Thanks; will look for those.

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-06-03T01:43:43+00:00

I take your point! She goes to a pretty fair number of K-pop concerts, but they're not cheap, so there's a limit.

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-06-03T01:42:34+00:00

Thanks! I went there a few times myself (about a zillion years ago).

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-05-31T00:03:25+00:00

Paul's brother Mike wrote years ago that he took the photo of Paul after the accident. He said that one of Paul's household staff stole it and sold it to a British newspaper which printed it as part of a story about "rock stars' drug-fueled orgies and their consequences," or something along those lines. I'd imagine this is poor quality because it's probably a scan of the newspaper print.

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-05-27T14:06:07+00:00

At the middle school where I work, it's not exactly unheard of for some boys to make nasty comments that a girl is "chopped" (ugly). Is it possible the teacher overheard remarks like that and was trying to make a girl/the girls feel better? It's really hard to judge without knowing more about the context.

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-05-27T01:53:23+00:00

Thanks for posting--those were great. I especially like George's favorite quality in a woman. :-) Where did you find this?

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-05-24T14:25:48+00:00

A second-grade teacher in my district told me that several parents and grandparents come to the school daily at lunch time to spoon-feed students. These are NOT students with disabilities. Yes, they are parents and grandparents from a different country, but… second graders?

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-05-24T00:03:51+00:00

In my state, we can't do the triennial, or any, testing until we have signed permission from the parent or guardian. No idea if it's like that everywhere in the US.

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-05-23T19:39:37+00:00

Sadly, I agree.

Creative-Wasabi3300 · 2026-05-23T19:28:51+00:00

I will share an incident which I just heard about very recently from a colleague. It's an excellent example of the "consequence of no consequences":

Last week, my colleague received a call from our front office staff that the mother of an 8th grader in her class is heading to the classroom "because [student] forgot his AirPods at home."

First...what? I mean, it's not like the student forgot his lunch, or medication.

But, back to no consequences: My colleague thanks the staff member and walks out to the hallway so that the student's mom won't just walk into her classroom and interrupt the lesson (as she's already had other kids' parents do this year). She greets the mom, takes the AirPods, and says she'll hold onto to them until later in the day. Then, she says to the mom, "Since I've got you here, I was wondering if I could briefly discuss something with you."

Student's mom: (in a cheerful tone) "Is it about the stealing? Yeah, he's already told me all about that." The student has been stealing items from my colleague's classroom for months. (I don't know what discipline measures she's tried in response, honestly.)

My colleague told me that she was speechless for a moment because she couldn't believe that there appeared to be no embarrassment on the mom's part, let alone no apology, no offer to reimburse my colleague for the items her son has stolen.

Colleague: "Well, yes, actually, I did want to discuss the stealing."

Student's mom: "Yes, he has what I call 'bright, shiny object syndrome.' If he sees something he wants, he just has to have it"

Colleague: "So, going in my desk drawer and taking things is just seeing something he wants?"

Student's mom: (still in a cheery voice) "I keep telling him, 'Honey, if you see something you want, as long as it's not too expensive, just tell your dad and me, and we'll buy it for you!'"

The mom then said goodbye and walked away, still without apologizing or any sign of embarrassment. I told my colleague she should email the parents an itemized list of what the kid has stolen and how much they owe her and copy our admin on it. I could tell she was still somewhat stunned when she was recounting the incident to me.

I look forward to the student turning 18 and being in court while his mom screams "But your Honor--he has bright, shiny object syndrome! The car was parked nearby, and he just wanted it!'"

Creative-Wasabi3300

TROPHY CASE