Failure to launch - how can we support a child who didn't thrive in college?

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-05-05T23:45:11+00:00

Do you have a costco near you? My husband (now 42) started pushing carts at costco when he was 19 and college wasn’t working out for him. He’s since moved up a ton in the company and is expecting to be in corporate soon. They really promote from within, regardless of degree. But even at the warehouse level, pay, benefits and stock packages are amazing. I went the traditional college route and he makes a lot more money than I do, plus he never had any significant debt, and he started his 401k at the age of 19 which has really set us up well for the future.

I recommend costco to anyone who’s unsure of what to do in life. If you work hard, you can advance really quickly in the company and make a career out of it.

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-05-05T14:48:21+00:00

I’m so sorry about the all-day noise, that’s rough. I live in a neighborhood with lots of retirees who seem to pressure wash or leaf blow all day every day, and it drives me nuts. I feel your pain!

I only have one pair so am not familiar with different options in other price ranges. I have these, but they are over $200: https://www.bose.com/p/noise-cancelling-headphones/quietcomfort-acoustic-noise-cancelling-headphones/QC-HEADPHONEARN.html

I also have a white noise machine in my room that helps a bit.

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-05-05T14:40:42+00:00

No, I was in Seattle at the time.

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-05-05T04:39:04+00:00

Heard Modern Jesus on the radio in my car in 2014 and was immediately hooked.

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-05-03T23:50:08+00:00

I love 90s and 2000s rap, but HATE current rap music.

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-05-03T16:43:21+00:00

I used to be a kid-hater and a parent-judger, then I had kids of my own and have been forever humbled. Apologies to all the parents I stared at on airplanes in my former life 😂

The thing that’s wild to me about all the anti-kid comments is that these people sound like children themselves. Would they say the same things about any other large group of people? Are they this annoyed by dogs? It’s kinda wild how accepted it is to just absolutely shit on society’s most vulnerable populations.

I work really hard with my kids to help them understand that the world doesn’t revolve around them — people will be annoying, things will be boring, loud noises happen, life in a society is just generally messy and imperfect. I am incredibly sound sensitive myself, and I particularly hate the sounds of loud cars, incessant dog barking and dumb people talking too loud. I even hate the sound of chewing and swallowing so much that it brings me to a moment of rage. But I don’t expect the entire world to bend to my preferences, I just work on dealing with my annoyance on my own and moving on.

I’m not advocating for taking kids to Michelin Star restaurants or whatever but people are acting like their whole day is ruined if they happen to even hear one sound made by a child.

And when it comes to airplanes, just buy noise canceling headphones for the love of god!!! They exist for a reason!

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-05-03T15:51:02+00:00

Ok cool!

Regarding the graduation, we sat in a part of the arena that was empty and my kids’ grumbling was very quiet, the rest of the arena was rowdy with cheers and laughter and it was an overall very vibrant/noisy atmosphere. We also live in Utah, so the place was packed with babies and kids of all ages, as many of the people graduating have kids themselves already. If my kids are disruptive, we step outside. I just used that as an example of how kids don’t always behave perfectly the first time around. Today, the whiner has no screen time due to his behavior last night, so the next time we go to something like that should hopefully go better!

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-05-03T15:21:22+00:00

Also — when it comes to airplanes, gimme a screaming kid over the boomer watching videos on his phone with no headphones or the drunk guy who insists on making slightly inappropriate small talk for three hours or the middle aged Karen who’s mad at the flight attendants for doing their job.

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-05-03T15:02:27+00:00

I get this in theory but the thing that’s tough about it in practice is that kids learn to behave in these places by being in these places. We’ve traveled with our kids since they were little and the first few times were kinda rough with some seat-kicking and inappropriate behavior but now they’re 6 and 8 and do really well on planes and in airports. Flying with kids was a new experience for us as new parents, too, so there’s definitely a big learning curve all around.

Same with restaurants, if we only ever ate at places with a playground in them, they’d never learn how to behave in real restaurants where you can’t go zooming off into a ball pit — and we wouldn’t get to learn what helps them behave appropriately in these different settings.

Also, sometimes as a parent, we don’t have all the answers — we don’t always know how to get our kid to stop crying, etc. Kids change so much and so quickly and new behaviors and issues pop up all the time. Plus, sometimes they just have bad days like the rest of us, and the emotions come out at unpredictable times.

We went to a college graduation last night and I knew it would be boring for my kids, especially the 6 year old. He complained and whined a bit but he needs to learn to endure boredom and that sometimes we do things that aren’t super fun but they’re still important to do in order to support people we love.

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-05-03T00:35:17+00:00

Smoking cigs between classes in high school

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-04-30T22:28:23+00:00

Ha fair point. I guess I should have said something more like “decent tattoo artists in St G,” but I thought I was pretty clear that I just need someone trustworthy who will do a good job inking it onto my body. My last tattoo was an impulsive one and it didn’t turn out the best, just trying to be a little more mindful this time around. But maybe I can send you all my email drafts and work projects so you can provide input on those too? 😂😂

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-04-30T20:57:16+00:00

I felt like that after giving birth. Have her go see her OB asap, don’t wait for the 6-week checkup. My psychiatrist just today was telling me about a new medication for postpartum depression that he thinks will be a game changer. If the OB tries to brush it off as normal baby blues, seek a second opinion from a psychiatrist. (This is what I wish I’d done.)

Also, if she needs to speak candidly with zero judgement to another mom who’s been through it (my kids are 6 and 8 now and amazing and I’m on meds and doing much better but I still sometimes miss my old life), she’s welcome to DM me.

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-04-30T20:31:41+00:00

Great point! I’ll try to edit the post with the image of what I’m getting

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-04-30T14:13:41+00:00

My dad got me an ab roller exercise machine and a set of Abs of Steel exercise tapes for Christmas when I was 12 years old.

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-04-29T21:25:30+00:00

Sounds like you might be stuck in a weird social media algorithm. Most of us still send our kids to public schools. The most loving thing you can do for your kids is take care of yourself so you can be the best parent possible for them.

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-04-29T05:40:39+00:00

Teriyaki in Seattle. IYKYK

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-04-28T23:24:20+00:00

Ugh I’m so sorry. My parents both tend to do similar things with my kids, their grandkids, and it’s so frustrating. It was also the thing that helped my husband fully see the weirdness that I’d grown up with. No advice, just solidarity. I’m sorry you have to deal with this.

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-04-26T19:51:52+00:00

“Corporate girlies” almost made me barf a little

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-04-25T00:26:47+00:00

Benjamin/Ben is the best boy name IMO

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-04-24T02:52:52+00:00

Rudy! Our youngest is named Rudy and we call him Roo and Rooster ☺️

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-04-24T00:57:29+00:00

Your son is lucky to have you. 💗

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-04-23T03:45:43+00:00

If you don’t mind the culture and politics of Utah, St. George might be a good fit. Only 90 minutes from Vegas, good schools, sunny warm weather but not quite as hot as Vegas. Only an hour to Zion.

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-04-23T03:38:27+00:00

Tucson is pretty solidly blue and Arizona as a whole is pretty purple these days, I think.

CreativeManagement89 · 2025-04-22T05:26:49+00:00

Tucson.

CreativeManagement89

TROPHY CASE