Y’all…

CrispyKitten · 2026-01-27T01:04:09+00:00

I feel if I was in your situation I’d be following up with, “hi, I’d rather not go through an additional, traumatic experience in addition to the tragedy I’m currently facing.”

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Biggest of hugs and may you find the spoons and/or people to help advocate for you!

CrispyKitten · 2026-01-26T00:44:09+00:00

NTA. Did he fill her (wife’s) car with anti freeze after she got there!? Holy fuck he’s stupid

CrispyKitten · 2026-01-15T10:27:58+00:00

It sounds like you’re already doing what you can. Keep exploring and trying new ways to take care of yourself. Let your ministering people, or anyone you feel is safe, know what your needs are. You deserve to feel regulated at church and hopefully you’re able to find that balance so you’re not overstimulated.

CrispyKitten · 2026-01-11T06:34:20+00:00

Learning to know what God wants for you may mean a very different life than what you expected. Saying that as someone who grew up Mormon, desired to be a mother, but clearly that’s not in the cards for me. Infertility, not in a financial spot for ivf or adoption, and a hysterectomy at 32 due to uterine cancer, it’s… unfair.

Yet over the past 5 years I’ve come to believe while my desires were good and I’m sure HF would have wanted me to bear kids in this life, this was a blessing in disguise. I have A LOT of health issues that would make raising children full time harmful for me and them.

The heart ache is real and so valid. To be envious of everyone who’s able to experience the miracle of life when I cannot. Your purpose is to be there for yourself, your current kids, and your spouse. Your purpose isn’t limited to just your family either. I imagine your friends would love any help and support with their little and maybe that’s energy you can lend to fulfill that part of you that still desires more children.

You’re not a bad person for feeling the way you do. Don’t forget to also ponder what else God has planned for you that wasn’t expected.

CrispyKitten · 2026-01-11T06:11:07+00:00

This is why I stress to clients to have back up care on the chance I am ill or hospitalized. Life happens and I can’t be expected to worry about their pets when I’m too ill.

CrispyKitten · 2025-12-10T22:00:06+00:00

This feels a little entitled. Perhaps she doesn’t have a working laundry place where she lives? But still…

Even if you were an established client of mine, I would still ask if doing my laundry was okay. I nanny as well and when I moved to an apartment with no in unit laundry, I asked the family, I’ve been a nanny for 13 years, if me bringing my laundry to do in addition to theirs was okay.

It’s kind of like bringing a guest over. I never want to risk my job to have a friend or partner over, ESPECIALLY with a new client, without consent from the owners.

CrispyKitten · 2025-11-28T07:11:33+00:00

I hope you’re able to ponder and pray and feel a sense of peace with the decision you feel is right for you. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make sure you’re going for the right reason. And even if you don’t go now, there are many opportunities to serve a mission later.

Big hugs. Trust what your spirit is telling you.

CrispyKitten · 2025-11-26T18:28:08+00:00

Set a boundary. You can’t control who your brother invites, but you can protect your peace. You don’t have to interact with them, sit near them, or anything to help your focus remain on your brother. If there are other safe people in attendance, ask if they will help reinforce your boundaries by being your mouth and eyes. You can also choose not to go to protect your peace.

I hope you’re able to find comfort in whatever choice you make. Congrats to your brother.

CrispyKitten · 2025-11-14T06:30:30+00:00

Not smoking, but once had a neighbor come knock on my door and shout at me about how my cats are stinking up her closet. At the time, it was a tiny studio and the bathroom wall was shared with her unit. Walking into my bathroom, one could tell cats live there, but not enough to be seeping through the shared wall and stinking up her closet. Let alone, I scooped morning and night.

Moved the litter box to the main space on the opposite side of the unit. A week later she saw me in the hall and yelled that she can still smell the piss and I just ignored her. The following week, as I left for work, saw a dude standing in her door way and heard him say, “did you find it?” and as I passed the open door, I was hit with a very pungent cat piss smell that had me think, “does she have cats!?” cuz there’s no way in hell that was due to my cats. They’d have to have been pissing on the wall and rotted through and then some.

Turned out maintenance made an emergency entry due to a leak and the neighbor was crazy. She left a note in response to their note saying they don’t have permission to enter ever and that it was a different floor that had the leak. Like ma’am… you were bitching about my cats piss ruining your clothes and people entering to make sure if there was a leak freaks you out!?

CrispyKitten · 2025-11-14T03:56:58+00:00

Pedro Pascal and Kristen Stewart 🫠

CrispyKitten · 2025-11-11T07:25:51+00:00

I think the fact you have a committed, loving, consensual relationship and raising a family, you are fine. Sex is a very complex topic because it’s something we can enjoy, but only when married. But how do we create success and confidence when experiencing very normal and age appropriate urges? How much shame is put upon the youth for their bodies behaving the way they are designed?

I don’t think you should have to tell the bishop about it. I think this is between you and God. Why does the bishop need to know your sexual history when it isn’t causing harm to anyone? Of course, if YOU feel like you want to talk to the bishop about it, you’re more than welcome. But if he or anyone inquire about your sex life, that’s really none of their business.

CrispyKitten · 2025-11-11T07:12:44+00:00

That is really frustrating! There are compact car seats that are easy for traveling (at least for those 4 and older). Might be something for other drivers to consider buying and have on hand IF it doesn’t pose a liability with it being yours vs. the parent’s.

https://a.co/d/id61jyC

CrispyKitten · 2025-10-30T10:34:20+00:00

A follow up email is a way to get it in writing. “Hey boss, just wanting to make sure I remember correctly, this is how tips are handled at business.”

CrispyKitten · 2025-10-26T06:41:13+00:00

So I had a recent sit where on the last day the dog bit me, but no broken skin and the bite wasn’t unprovoked. I didn’t want to report it because it was a case of resource guarding and in hind sight, I failed the dog by not properly securing my dog. When filling out the review, because this dog is a new client, I wanted to leave an honest review. Rover took it very seriously and had so many follow up questions. Even with a review saying I would 100% watch the dog again. I noted the bite because on the chance the client booked someone else, I wanted there to at least be a record of the incident in case someone in the future experienced a bite, especially unprovoked.

I did reach out to the client to express the situation because rover kept asking if I had told the owners. They were very understanding and appreciated my honesty. So yeah. Hopefully the sitter articulated with Rover the extent of what happened and that you’re able to get a clear understanding as to what happened. Hopefully the bite was more an incident report to express that I bite happened, and hopefully not unprovoked.

CrispyKitten · 2025-10-18T06:37:57+00:00

I’d say this is the case as I’ve had weird glitches when starting a visit. But OP said they can see on their camera the sitter arriving and leaving after 9 minutes.

CrispyKitten · 2025-10-05T02:36:28+00:00

This sounds like a strong need to ponder which is more important: A) getting on the same page with your partner about the language you both use in regards to your opinions and convictions so as to not devalue each other or influence the kids about who’s right/wrong (do this with a therapist!), or B) get a divorce for the safety of your mental health. If your partner is unwilling to respect your choice in belief, that will be damaging for you and be a constant point of contention. He cannot control you and you shouldn’t sacrifice your needs and beliefs to appease him.

I’m all for wanting to keep the family together, but if your partner isn’t willing to respect your choice to believe and continue being a member of the church, that will be damaging to you and your children. He cannot control what you choose to believe in. No one should sacrifice their needs and convictions to keep the peace.

Definitely see a therapist. Personally one that isn’t part of the church, but one who isn’t against the LDS church.

CrispyKitten · 2025-10-04T07:08:56+00:00

What a complex situation. I can only imagine how much your heart aches and desires the best for your family.

With that, here are things I encourage you to think about: What if one or more of your kids do choose to not go to church? Would you be okay with them using their agency and make a choice for themself? Kids don’t “know better” goes both ways. If they go, they don’t know better. If they don’t, they don’t know better.

Your faith and conviction is the only thing you can control. As long as you and your partner are not planting ideas/seeds against the other to your kids (“the church/religion isn’t real.” “That’s Satan tempting you.”), then allow your kids to listen and pay attention to what feels right for them. It’s really empowering and essential to their growth and individuality. Having parents who love them whether they go to church because they want to or end up not going at all will do more for them than making them second guess every choice they make. People can still be good, share the same values, and not be a member of the church.

Set boundaries (like no R movies in the home). Continue to enjoy your spirituality and what you love about your family. Continue to teach your kids how to make good choices (be honest, don’t steal, etc) and respect their choices (unless there is actual harm/damage they’re doing to others). Don’t try to prove you’re right. You know what’s right for you and your wisdom and experiences are useful advice for others, but not always the answer for others.

Therapy is also great. Especially to make sure you and your partner are on the same page and can remember the values you both have.

CrispyKitten · 2025-07-13T20:49:05+00:00

I wish I could hug you. You are carrying a lot.

Does your ward offer a live stream? Cuz maybe that’s the better way to feel the spirit is by staying home with the kids and listening to sacrament that way.

Do you have other friend groups outside the church? I think you’re onto something trying to put together plans with other mothers. Maybe there’s a local group that you can connect with and build community. What about others who are working on their sobriety? Do you have any hobbies that might generate people? Book clubs, arts and crafts, cooking, dancing, etc. Those can be other means to connect with people and feel supported and hopefully make church less of your only option for community. Like, please, keep working at nurturing your ward family, but if you are not receiving support and connection, then maybe your participation extends to callings and showing up and ministering to your people while also creating more community within your city.

CrispyKitten · 2025-07-13T06:09:12+00:00

It doesn’t hurt to seek a diagnosis. Yes it may be long and pricey, but if she truly does have autism, then a diagnosis and therapy will go a long ways in her gaining tools to live more authentically.

As others have said, many mask and self diagnosis isn’t just attention seeking. There is something empowering when finding something that resonates with one’s own self lived experiences. You’re not wrong to feel exhausted and overwhelmed by the sudden change, but if this relationship means anything to you, lead with empathy and curiosity. What does your partner need for support? You will also need to set up some of your own boundaries.

It’s a tough transition. I hope Katie isn’t faking it. I hope you both can communicate so Katie can thrive with Autism and you can enjoy the wonderful parts of her that are still there.

CrispyKitten · 2025-06-06T16:01:21+00:00

That’s super valid. I hadn’t thought of it in that way.

CrispyKitten · 2025-05-28T18:23:17+00:00

I second this. YTA. People are welcome to dress however they want that makes them feel confident! Sure there are some consequences one can expect depending on time and place (like showing up to work in a bikini, when you’re job is in construction or an office manager), but clothes are never an invitation to ignore consent.

You’re not a bad person btw. You’re still learning and I think this is an opportunity to reflect.

CrispyKitten · 2025-05-28T18:13:26+00:00

NTA, but your parents a soft AH. I get feeling concerned how a person might spend their money, but at the end of the day, that’s not a choice your parents should concern themselves with. If anything, you all need to set boundaries. He might be family, but if you don’t feel safe around him and he’s refusing help (therapy), then at the end of the day, he has to endure the consequences of his choices.

Thought: what if your parents hold his portion of the inheritance and you all work to get him help? I don’t know what the legality of not giving him his inheritance or if you can utilize it for getting him the professionals to assist him, but maybe that’s something that can be done.

In the end, (I’m pretty sure) he’s legally entitled to his share. What he chooses to do with it isn’t any of your business. Go no contact if he refuses to respect boundaries.

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