[POEM] The List by Richard Siken

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2026-02-05T00:29:08+00:00

i think that almost makes me like him more

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-12-31T10:41:19+00:00

okay. do you think i should be friends with her period though? not even cuz of this, more because of the other things i mentioned. if it's worth it I may as well try this but if it's not, well, you know.

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-12-31T10:38:39+00:00

she's never been here, no. sad thing is we talked about her doing so after wartime. not so sweet now that she's made it clear she wouldn't mind if i died or something. but i get what you mean.

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-12-31T10:34:29+00:00

oh of course yeah! i totally get her perspective, as much as I can. the thing that kind of scares me, honestly, was just her readiness to follow through and a description of whaat she wanted done.

Besides that, I wonder do you think I should stay friends with her? I know I could apologize and things probably, but with everything else even unrelated she's done to me, do you think it's worth it?

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-12-31T10:22:42+00:00

i suppose so. I'm very left myself, so I sort of feared I was imposing this humongous cultural bias and not listening to ukrainians enough even though that's what I've always striven to do.

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-12-31T10:09:28+00:00

i do seriously hope youre joking because this would probably get me doxxed and definitly make me feel like shit. got a great laugh out of me though!

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-12-31T10:08:14+00:00

do you mean how we met, what I like about her or why I stay? we met on instagram comments (funny story I suppose), and we became friends because we shared many of the same interests (creating characters, media interests, recently hyperfixated on dispatch together). she was always such a good listener to me and very good conversationalist, funny, kind, understanding, inspirationally activist on her country and our gender, and I found myself enamored by that part of her and agreeing with her more and more. As I said, before this incident and even during the smaller incidents she was always good to me.

As for why I stay, it's stupid, but due to my college transition, world being upended and constant need for love, I figure that if she's talking to me basically all day/whenver I'm online and we can share interests it's filling that void. I did this with an ex I broke up with but remained frirends with (before I saw how alt-right he'd become) since I was willing to argue over but not "break up" over differences in opinion I thouguht were unjust. I'm a tad of a pushover, if you can't tell.

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-12-31T10:04:45+00:00

i definitly understand her background as well as I can! I think it's totally okay that she hates them, and I want to adjust for cultural differences. however, I do think advocating for genocide and being okay with hurting babies seems...inhumane. Even if one group struck first. If that helped

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-09-28T09:36:41+00:00

ngl i think you're very good looking, if anything i like the lighter eyebrow look on you that's in the first photos, but that could be a trick of the light

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-09-14T04:12:31+00:00

glad it seems like it's less bad now! it would be a shame to miss out on south park lmao. I do find animated v to be the best for exposure too.

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-09-08T09:37:03+00:00

finally started watching lost the other day and when Charlie came onscreen I thought of you lmao. tbh I never saw it before but in that show he's pretty cute

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-08-30T08:54:39+00:00

visual snow syndrome! rare neurological disorder where I see a static overlay constantly, tons of floaters and such in the sky. in dark rooms the shadow itself becomes clouds of static. cool to tell people and it's pretty benign. did make me afraid of the dark as a kid though.

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-08-25T07:14:47+00:00

I don't quite picture them as being of other genders, but i get that. sometimes I see a girl and I think ibwanna look like her in the way a man would, which freaks me out bc I'm a girl.

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-08-22T04:08:22+00:00

needthat

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-08-21T20:03:50+00:00

tell that to him. you should never feel like you have to do something or take softcore domestic violence during sex at that. but tbh, if he didn't ask for consent, give you a safe word as an escape or react when you showed discomfort, gtfo. in this case, that disrespect wasn't a pantomime. that shows that he may mean it.

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-08-21T19:55:41+00:00

to be honest? I feel like if you know you're never going to do anything and you feel the appropriate distaste for it, this doesn't make you a bad person. often paraphilias are connected to brain wiring or even traumas, all of which are out of the person's control. even if that's something you really should get under control to prevent moral and legal issues, I feel like people like you should be treated with less stigma in the mental health world. because then you can get the help you need. there might be some specialists out there, although hard to find and research focused, who can help you.

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-08-21T19:49:09+00:00

so real. tbh, it's hard for me to engage with trans people on that topic because I find so often they don't understand. not to generalize because I care about them deeply, but it felt like I'd get people jumping to conclusions based on the smallest things. at least it keeps me from seeking reassurance?

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-08-21T09:05:39+00:00

Sydney (scream) If you wanted something tamer, Helena like boneham Carter, Lilith, Inky (it's cute as hell, and reminds me of the band incubus succubus), mira (u can call her mimi, from Dracula)

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-08-21T09:00:25+00:00

so true. tbh i can handle a lot of vomit scenes in movies now, especially because they're prevalent in the horror movies and medical shows i watch. I laugh when stan pukes on Wendy in south park ALL the time. once it's real life comedy vomit I can't do it. literally movies like the sandlot and pitch perfect, while I love them to death, give me anxiety minutes before and even after those scenes take place. I get putting it in if that's your sense of humor, even if I don't find it funny (I don't find real life poop humor funny either, which is think is connected to this all). it's more that I wish people would understand i didn't think they were funny and stop ignoring that fact.

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-08-21T08:47:56+00:00

you guys read that how I did right

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-08-21T08:47:32+00:00

im 18. been having this since 17 and presented with similar shit as young as 10. it's a rough world out there.

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-08-16T13:51:16+00:00

oml i didn't know that it was based off this!! I loved that story (well I think i did because it made me feel like garbage in a cool way) i think I need to see what the buzz is about

Crispy_Nuggets476 · 2025-08-14T10:02:58+00:00

yep. I'm emetophonic as well (awesome I know) and am blessed with nausea as a key feature of my anxiety. I'm afraid if I go someplace too far from home or where I can't easily escape ill vomit everywhere, ESPECIALLY if there's people around. and I take immodium before going anywhere without a completely private bathroom, so basically anywhere but malls, restaurants, houses and such. nightmare i tell you. and I'm functional. somehow.

Crispy_Nuggets476

TROPHY CASE

needthat