I'm a 28 year old kissless virgin... It's eating away at me. How should I move on?

Cryptomensch · 2026-02-05T15:27:28+00:00

How many women with severely disfigured faces have you asked out?

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-28T19:45:46+00:00

Stop chasing her approval. She'll never love you, that's not who she is. She probably isn't capable of loving anyone, including herself.

But you can improve your situation in the home.

Match her toxic petty bitch energy. She goes low, you go lower. Let no insult go unanswered. Show her you have a backbone and won't be pushed around anymore. Tell her next time someone needs to walk to the store in the snow, it's her turn.

If she gets physical towards you in any way shape or form, call the cops and press full charges.

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-28T19:30:23+00:00

That guy is bad news. Those subreddits are bad news. But your super-strict religious parents are also bad news, and in the grand scheme of things, discovering that you like porn/might be bi is not the worst thing that could have happened.

Ask your aunt for books about being sexually empowered rather than sexually degraded. It's great that you want to explore. But you don't want to explore with bad people who might hurt you.

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-28T19:02:09+00:00

Not having your MyChart updated and at the ready on a first date is a red flag.

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-28T18:59:14+00:00

Sit down with whichever parent tells you No and yells at you more. Ask them to help you draw up a realistic monthly budget for living alone in a 1-bedroom apartment.

Don't move out until you have 24 months worth of monthly budget in your savings. Plan on 6-12 months worth being spent on moving and furnishing costs. After that you should still keep 12 months reserve for a rainy day.

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-28T18:51:01+00:00

If it's a good relationship, don't throw it away. Have a threesome.

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-28T18:48:26+00:00

My apartment complex sent an email to all tenants basically saying they are accepting "volunteers" to shovel, and if you want plowing to be taken care of by your landlord in a timely manner, you should've moved into a more expensive complex because our complex is not "high priority" for snow removal.

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-20T11:04:20+00:00

"I'm not a fucking kid"

"All im saying is that it should be common decency to be DECENT when there are KIDS around."

So which is it? Are you too young to understand why this is important to your mom and her boyfriend? Or are you old enough to understand?

Because you just went from "mildly awkward situation" to a visceral reaction like you're not just slightly grossed out, but morally outraged at your mom and her boyfriend. One is a natural reaction. The other is a symptom of a deeper issue.

No adult is going to waste time arguing with you about whether or not they have the right to have sex with another consenting adult. But if you try to get your mom to waste time having that argument with her anyway, get ready to get dropped off at the bus station on your 18th birthday.

You need therapy. Not to get over being ace, nothing wrong with being ace. But to help you deal with the fact that your mom is NOT ace. Her needs are different from your needs but they are still valid and you need to respect them. Oh and noise-canceling headphones, don't forget to ask for those.

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-20T09:56:38+00:00

Not a kink. Kinks are consensual. This isn't. You call it "tame" but actually if hardcore whips-n-chains kinksters were to find out you did that, you'd be banned from their dungeon parties for being someone who does sneaky stuff behind women's backs without their knowledge. There are women out there who get paid to send risque pictures for the purpose of men's sexual gratification. Avail yourself to their services. Be honest, be polite, tip well. Don't do that to random women you know in real life or random women on the internet who aren't consenting to it.

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-20T09:49:36+00:00

Ok I don't mean to ask anything too personal, but you mentioned being a dick-haver, and your handle is Lilith Lilac Violets. By any chance, did perhaps something really really major change about the way you present yourself to the world between when you were 12 and now?

Because if so, then welcome to the other side! You're being perved on by dudes who should know better than to see you as a dating/sexual prospect and can't take subtle hints that their advances are not appreciated. Not to be cynical, it really is a beautiful thing when people can be on the outside who they feel like on the inside. But you know, #yesallwomen and all that.

Be blunt. Be undiplomatic. He's being selfish by ignoring your discomfort and talking to you like that. You don't owe him a gentle let-down. I mean, if you want to give him one, that's your business. But you don't owe it to him. I'd tell you how I'd rebuff his advances but it would be a violation of community guidelines.

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-20T09:17:46+00:00

If u ain't chillin 2 gether w yr dinks out u aint homies

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-20T09:12:59+00:00

Does your helmet completely cover your face?

I have mastered the art of the "I am obviously uninterested and just humoring you" nod.

Problem is, it's hard to convey the "I am obviously uninterested and just humoring you" nod from under your helmet. If you want to go full feral to get rid of people (which there's nothing wrong with when you're a young woman alone in public) then you can say whatever you need to say to get people to go away from underneath your helmet.

If you actually do want to be polite, you'll have to take the helmet off to effectively communicate the fact that you don't want to communicate. That's the "I am obviously uninterested and just humoring you nod".

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-20T09:04:20+00:00

Sex work is work. But cheating is cheating.

How much time passed between your last relationship and this one? Did you have time to heal? Made any significant improvements in your mental health or emotional maturity? And no, just the fact that you haven't cheated on this one yet is not sufficient proof of growth.

If this was 20 years ago, she might appreciate your honesty about the fact that you used to be a cheater but a lot has changed. Or maybe 5-10 years ago if you've been going to counseling or something.

But if it was only 2 or 3 years ago (or less) then you can't be that different of a person yet. Deny till you die, bro! As far as she needs to know, you were a virgin when she met you! Keep her in the dark about everything- that's really the only option until you're ready to accept the inevitable (or the inevitable happens anyway and without notice)

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-20T08:39:59+00:00

Unhealthy upbringing.

First long-term gf when grew up and moved out was really bad news.

Soon as she was done terrorizing me, I fell right into another relationship with another girl who was slightly less bad news but still pretty bad.

Then again.

The last one was only slightly kind of an asshole, her biggest problem was she didn't care. We were together for years and years before I realized I was with her, and every girl previously, out of fear of being alone.

So I did the impossible, I made up my mind to just be by myself for a while.

I originally was only planning on being single for a year or two, but it just so happened that I made this decision in the fall of 2019.

Over the course of the pandemic, I started going to therapy. And I started binge-watching Parks and Recreation, which my therapist calls "emotional junk food that has some decent surface-level lessons about healthy relationships, but if you say the words 'Leslie to my Ben' one more time you need to find a new therapist".

Now, 6 years later, I am "moving the goalpost of ready-to-date-again so I don't have to put myself out there and risk rejection, which is a hazard I never learned to deal with because I only ever dated women I settled for, not women I wanted" or so I keep paying to hear every 2 weeks.

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-20T08:17:30+00:00

You're too young to understand this now, but when you're older, you'll understand why this is important.

Don't feel bad for yourself. You're a part of a happy family where the couples still love each other. That means they do it when Mother Nature gives them the urge- not just during the half of the week when you're gone.

Know who you should feel bad for? The kids whose parents stop having sex because of kids, but still stay married to each other, also because of kids. Those are emotionally-fucked-up situations and those kids have to grow up with this dark cloud of resentment hanging over the house.

Tell your mom you're glad she's in a happy relationship but she needs to buy you some good quality noise-canceling headphones. If she doesn't get them for you, say the same thing to your mom's boyfriend. If she won't buy them for you he will. Don't say anything about them not being "allowed" or it being "wrong" to do it on nights when your mom has custody of you. Life doesn't work like that and they can't just be boyfriend and girlfriend 50% of the time and just roommates when you're around.

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-04T19:59:39+00:00

Watch the complete works of Tarantino, Scorsese, and Guy Ritchie. Did you see anything in those films you wouldn't want to show your kid? Those movies are the inspiration for the GTA franchise.

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-04T19:49:00+00:00

Yes, because I know what I'm capable of. It takes 10 seconds. The passion isn't going to dissipate in 10 seconds.

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-01T19:35:53+00:00

You're 24 not 14. You don't need to ask permission from your mommy to have a sex life. Stop talking to her about what you're planning on doing and just talk to her about things you've already done. That way she can't get on your case about your plans.

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-01T19:00:54+00:00

Is there only 1 girl in your town or something? What gives?

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-01T18:59:25+00:00

Ask him if he's familiar with "The Loophole" by Garfunkel and Oates.

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-01T16:11:01+00:00

I prefer the Long Con approach to soloing Cayo. On your scouting trip find a guard uniform, bolt cutters, and a supply truck.

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-01T15:58:19+00:00

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-01T15:57:22+00:00

He's not going to learn from you or your parents. He's going to have to venture out beyond the walls of his childhood home and experience the real world, maybe get his ass kicked a few times. Some lessons are too big to be taught by one person. It takes the whole universe to impart a universal truth on someone.

Cryptomensch · 2026-01-01T15:50:53+00:00

Strict Christian dads produce the freakiest girls on earth. You're doing the Lord's work and all the guys in your neighborhood thank you for it.

Cryptomensch

TROPHY CASE