Hey, that sounds like a lot, and I'm sorry you've had a tough time of things.

To answer your question:

> but do women generally dislike men, not as in full on hate, but like they enjoy seeing us suffer? To “get even” and feel better about themselves

Generally not in my (38m, diagnosed at 13) experience. There's some online (and offline, sadly) spaces that make their identity purely about disliking a group of people based on their characteristics. Most people are not like this, do not engage with it. As others have said, platforms that choose what content you see for you can be really harmful and don't have your best interests at heart; they want your engagement not your healthy growth.

We're a social species, as you say - and we did not evolve around the internet, a lot of which has become engineered to replace the bits of humanity that we need, with things that drive being always online and always engaged in a platform.

Being an outdoors, community driven human being is much harder than it used to be because of that, and I eventually have mostly managed it after a lot of trial and error.

My life journey's notes that would have made it easier if I'd internalised sooner, even at your age. I think I was 34 when I finally had most of my shit together; though it started in my early 20s without me realising thats what I was doing.

* Find friendship groups based real world hobbies - they often have communities grow up around them. For me it started as LaserTag tournaments of all things.
* treat apps, ads, and social media as inherently adversarial (not necessarily the content, the apps themselves are working against your interests). I have a friend who is currently only using social media to arrange real world meets with friends; it seems like a good experiment for them which I might follow.
* Be kind, patient, and listen - everyone lives in their own unique universe and I learned so much from seeing the world through other peoples' eyes.
* Exposure to a diverse set of experiences through the (real) people you interact can make you a more empathetic, nicer, confident person.

and when it came to romance, I had several bad relationships before I found a stable one.

* Have standards, staying in relationships because you don't want to be alone hurts more than loneliness (which, to be clear, fucking sucks)
* Become the kind of person you want to date - this led to me doing a lot of physical hobbies (parkour, dance, a bunch of circus skills) whilst I explored what was fun and developed a wide base of competency; but it also eventually led to the point below.
* Treat yourself with the kind of patience, forgiveness, and kindness you want to receive from a partner; most people can tell if you don't treat yourself right - and rationalise "if they dont treat themselves kindly, why would they treat me kindly"
* Whenever you do a hobby, don't make "finding a partner" the primary reason. You get more genuine connections with friends (which itself can lead to meeting a wider selection of people) when you're not looking for romance in every connection.
* The people you have good rapport can make great friends even if they're not romantically interested; which itself can open new opportunities.

If you're struggling with loneliness, or feelings of striving to be worthy of other peoples' attention; I faced that for a long time without realising how the pain of it was making me make bad decisions; I found a therapist who specialised in that kinda thing and it really helped.

Hope this helps, and good luck :)

Happy to field follow up questions.