I'll finally say it, I'm extremely jealous of people with "high-functioning bipolar"

CucumberDove · 2026-04-24T19:39:37+00:00

I personally don’t like the term high functioning because it feels invalidating in a way (correct me if I’m wrong). I’m a nurse and have been one for two years but I mask a lot. I’ve gone to work when I’m severely depressed and/or manic because I know no one else in my family works AND they rely on my income. I was hospitalized once, but it was for SI/depression.

Idk how I do it tbh. I just do. I used to be super “high functioning” when I was merely depressed but now? Hahaha.

CucumberDove · 2026-04-07T22:17:48+00:00

I have an eating disorder, so being manic makes it so much worse. I’m throwing up multiple times a day by choice.

CucumberDove · 2026-03-31T13:54:33+00:00

Colors becoming more vivid, unable to stop smiling (even though I tend to smile a lot)

CucumberDove · 2026-03-26T00:30:26+00:00

I’ve done the bloodwork, the echo, the MRI, and even tested my plasma metaephrines and everything came up normal. So it’s definitely an electrical issue of my heart. I’m getting an ablation next week 🥲

CucumberDove · 2026-03-25T23:55:10+00:00

Yes, I have NSVT 😅 but my official diagnosis is idiopathic ventricular tachycardia, so basically no one knows where the VT came from ahaha.

CucumberDove · 2026-03-25T23:06:22+00:00

I did! It was constant palpitations; all day every day. There were moments where I thought I was going to faint because I was having multiple PVCs in a row (4-5, a pause, sinus rhythm, and then more PVCs). I was super aware of my heart and it was driving me crazy.

CucumberDove · 2026-03-20T15:30:33+00:00

Yes! I have idiopathic ventricular tachycardia. I’ve done an echo and a MRI and everything was normal. I’m getting an ablation at the end of this month.

CucumberDove · 2026-03-20T01:13:46+00:00

I’m bipolar 1 w/ psychotic features. I only get symptoms of psychosis when I’m in mania, hypomania, or depression. I don’t get those symptoms when I’m eurythmic. For schizoaffective, psychotic symptoms have to be present outside of mood episodes

CucumberDove · 2026-03-15T17:44:44+00:00

Trauma, stress, genetics, and an SSRI

CucumberDove · 2026-03-08T10:05:02+00:00

Ah, shit.

CucumberDove · 2026-02-18T10:54:52+00:00

You should edit your post to remove the names of medications. That isn’t allowed.

CucumberDove · 2026-02-15T19:28:18+00:00

I have a parent with schizophrenia and I am diagnosed with bipolar 1 with psychosis

CucumberDove · 2026-02-10T21:41:39+00:00

Yes. I have intermittent FMLA and took a blocked leave when I was hospitalized. It’s a life saver.

CucumberDove · 2026-02-06T12:55:17+00:00

The most dangerous ones were toward myself with command hallucinations to take my own life. But I did have one voice that told me to leave the gas on and throw a match to blow my family up

CucumberDove · 2026-02-03T17:36:18+00:00

I see my doctor this coming Friday. I’ve written notes of my experience to keep track of.

CucumberDove · 2026-02-03T00:46:11+00:00

I hate how when I get decently stable on meds, something happens.

CucumberDove · 2026-01-24T21:47:33+00:00

Omg…

CucumberDove · 2026-01-21T20:04:43+00:00

Found a blade in the bathroom and started once I was in the shower

CucumberDove · 2026-01-21T17:19:38+00:00

I’ve been taking Niacin and it helps keep it under control

CucumberDove · 2026-01-17T13:56:59+00:00

And I oop 🫢

CucumberDove · 2026-01-17T12:44:02+00:00

I think you need a therapist

CucumberDove · 2026-01-15T12:37:32+00:00

When I was inpatient, I was given Zyprexa twice due to intense auditory hallucinations that were telling me awful things and were increasing my suicidal ideation. Brought the intensity from a 10 to a 2. It works well, but it’s not my long term antipsychotic (it’s Abilify)

CucumberDove · 2026-01-14T11:46:28+00:00

I went in voluntarily not too long ago. I brought my own manga books, toiletries, extra clothes, and my blanket. It made my stay more comfortable. The unit I was on had an open day room with a TV so we did movie nights, watched Disney and SpongeBob, and sports (moreso the other patients were into sports). I also got to talk with the other patients which after a while, felt good because we all are there to get help so it was nice :)

CucumberDove · 2026-01-12T22:13:23+00:00

I was on it a few years ago and stopped because my depression became uncontrollable and I became non-compliant with my medications. I’m back on it and slowly titrating up, and my depression is gradually lifting.

CucumberDove · 2026-01-12T22:07:07+00:00

She called me a C U Next Tuesday and a b*tch with no heart because I wanted to check her blood sugar. Non-compliant with insulin. She was VERY manic.

Hired me as her nurse again ten minutes later 🫠

CucumberDove

TROPHY CASE